I can't stop laughing at your recap over here, Schoonie. Especially this: "You had a good run, Lisi falling." HA!

I loved the outcome of this. Awesome and smart -- go Erinn! She came up with the plan, so maybe now she can get herself into a better spot. I like a few of these foos -- esp. JT and Taj (whose crossed eyes completely cracked me up -- had to rewind a couple of times).

Sayonara Tyson. I cannot WAIT to see the sh-storm that breaks out this week. Coach is the biggest douche-nozzle on the face of the earth and it's delightful to see him get his comeuppance.

XOXO,
Z

Next episode is going to be absolutely delightful. Coach finally gets hit with a dose of reality the size of a boulder.

I know Sierra came off incredibly whiny this episode, but she's still my favorite this season. From the beginning she was alienated and put in a bad spot, and she still managed to work her way into the merge. And even though she scrambled for safety this episode, she still made some points about Coach and Debra's hypocrisy that they wouldn't be willing to admit because they had numbers and she didn't.

But oh, how lovely. Even though Sierra really isn't that big of a swing vote (that will be more likely Erinn), at least she can say a few words now about "loyalty" and really knock Coach and Debbie down a few pegs.

I SO cannot wait til Thursday :D

I made a funny M. Night poster featuring Coach, but this forum won't let me post the url :'{

Is it me or is the Timbira tribe the most stupidest tribe ever. Wait...scratch that! Coach, the leader of that stupid warrior alliance, is the most stupidest player in this game. Timbira could have easily picked off the Jalapao tribe, dragons or no dragons. They had the numbers and probably the man power for it but they chose to beat themselves up. Actually wait...coach did.

Has he not watched this show before? Wait...scratch that! He didn't! He was in the amazon with a bunch of midgets.

Another question...its a serious question: Does survivor screen each of their contestants mental capabilities? You know when you win a lottery game, you are asked a skill testing question just to make sure your sane or not midly retarded?

Did coach pass??

When I saw the picture of Coach eating pizza, it occurred to me: Do you think Coach is just a stoner? His brain fried by decades of smoking herb? Maybe a little peyote thrown in? It would explain a lot.

That first picture of Sierra? Ewwww. Were her eyelids puffy from all the crying, or does she always look that way? Her obnoxious, sniveling self might have a shot if someone decides to take her along just because she poses no threat with the jury.

Go Erinn!

Okay...ya had me at ""Oh, dragon poop, you have so much left to learn." You're whole recap was outstanding!

Next week I really hope Sierra makes Coach Ben Wade eat the following words, "The honorable thing to do would be to accept your fate, and not try to make deals with people. The samurai warrior? If he did dishonor to himself of his family, you know what he would do? He would fall on his sword. Death before dishonor."

And I won't miss Tyson.

And when I hear Coach "bandy about" the name "Warriors," I think of that movie from the 70s.

Wahhhrrriorrs!!! Come out to Playay!

Yeah, I can't decide who's more annoying this year.. Tyson or Coach.
I wish they had both fallen on each others' swords.. erm.. ewww!
Well, you know what I mean...

Actually it was the Romans that fell on their swords. Saumurai's perform the hara-kiri and is actually even more gruesome. "Stomach cutting."

I know a lot of people hated Tyson but I actually enjoyed his antics (not so much with his assholery towards Sierra). But seeing him go down this way,.. it could not have been more satisfying. Still 2nd to Penner's though. Plus, the satisfaction of watching Coach realize his Warrior alliance is a big fat joke? I cannot wait!

I can't help it, I like Sierra too -- partly it's because she's been the underdog/leper the entire season and I can't stand the smug superiority of all of these other assholes, most of whom have only been lucky or just not yet a target, partly because I'm fascinated by how her face can be so "ugly pretty." I do believe she's on the wrong show. Every time they get tree mail I half expect her to squeal and jump and clap her hands and shout out: "Tyra Mail!"

Of course, she's the perfect person to take to the final two, since everyone seems to hate her so much. And possibly she knows that and plays up to it. She'll get the 100grand and the exposure for her modeling career. Good enough.

Can't wait until Stephen cuts JT off at the knees. You just know he will. There's no way he's going to let him go all the way -- he's using JT as a shield as he pushes his way through this thing. But Stephen has the immunity idol and he's made it pretty clear that it's his now.

Coach....pfft...he was cast for the show because he is what he is.

Oh yeah, I was so convinced the 'vote out Tyson' line was a red herring that this is the first time I've ever cheered outloud at the outcome of a TC vote.

And now they've really got me looking forward to next week, which is the first time for that this season.

Wow......what are the odds that Coach once again sucked/pussied out in the challenges. LOVE Probst for calling him out on it.

If there is a God, he will have Jeff place a 300 lb bench press set up on the reunion stage so we can see Coach wuss out on live television. 'Cause you know he can't even do 200....

I have to defend Sierra too. She has had to take constant shit from people from day one. That can wear anyone down and she is only a young woman. Even with the whining I think she has done pretty well for what she has had to put up with. Tyson has been an absolute dickhead to her all season. He can be funny and I have laughed at some of his antics, but funny or not the guy is still a douchebag. I am SOOOOOO glad that he was voted off. Finally someone makes a smart move! If that was a red herring and he hadn't gotten voted off, I might not have been able to watch Survivor anymore. It was getting to the point where I was bearly stopping myself from throwing something at the TV. This TV cost way too much to be destroyed over two assholes.

Speaking of assholes, did anyone scream (or laugh) when Cooch said that he out led Brenden (or however he phrased it). That is pretty much the closest he has come to admitting that he only wanted Brendon gone because people chose him to lead over Cooch. This guy just makes my eyes itch from having to look at him. I am delighted that the show is giving him the Lisi edit!! Did you hear that she fell? I know! I was shocked too!

"Tyson vs. HolyFAILd"

bwaaahaaahaaaahaaaa

If you haven't already, you have to watch Lisi's video on MySpace called "tightie whities" and needless to say, it's very disturbing/hillarious.

I was so happy with the outcome of this episode. After watching the Ponderosa videos, Tyson seemed a lot less douchey, but it was still satisfying to see him get the boot. I know it will be smart to keep Coach around until the end, but I really hope he goes next. I don't know how much more of his bullshit I can take.

"Nothing awesomer than seeing somebody celebrate before the game's over. It would have been badass to win again, but tonight is gonna be awesome. I'm hoping Sierra cries a lot."

Tyson "Psycho-list", Team Douche,
RIP, Episodes 1-10.

Parting is such sweet sorrow. Don't let the Candiru swim up your urine stream on the way out.

Schoonie, best recap EVER. "Tyson vs. HolyFAILd"? Classic. You are divine. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. (My co-workers think I'm nuts; Aw, they're right!)

I am so glad I decided to keep watching this season. Best episode in forever.

I can see why they think Sierra is annoying. She's whingey and annoying and she does lie, but -- Hello? -- that's the name of this game. "Outwit." Not too difficult in this crowd.

sowhat1234, it's not you, Tempura (fried fish for brains) are the most stupid tribe in ages. Here's a great idea! Align with the other tribe and slowly vote off our majority b/c everyone knows that rednecks have honor and won't stab you in the back. JT's word is gold, now SQUEAL LIKE A PIG!

Schoonie is right, if Stephen is in this to win this, he has to dump Forest Gump. Sierra is the perfect person to ally with -- everyone hates her, so take her to the end. The alliances that are left are absolutely foolish. Stephen, JT, Taj. Taj is the odd-one out here, technically, unless Stephen plans to fox JT. Errin is also in a hole in the middle. She has no real alliance here.

Debbie and Coach. Right, this is the deal. It's easy to say Coach will be out, but with these people, Sierra could still be in danger. Jalas are really pulling the strings here, which is stupid as they are not the majority. This is what blind hate of others gets you. You don't have to like someone to make an alliance with them. In fact, that generally will work in your favor because it is easier to screw over someone you like than it is someone you hate (as they will expect it).

One of the girls needs to jump the gulch and make a female alliance. That would rock. Otherwise the men are going to steamroll them. And, Taj, hon, get your danged idol back, nitwit. Good lord, woman, think!

Probst v Coach: I am so loving Jeff again, it isn't funny. How many bones does he have to throw these morons? "Tyson, think you might be in danger?" "Brenden, could you be in trouble?" "Do you think there may be something going on between Brenden and Taj?" Lord Almighty, folks. Does Jeff have to do all the thinking for you?

chibby: Ah, the Stoics. Yeah, Coach, not so stoic. Being disembowled a la Seppuku is ever more fitting for him. Gutted just like those snappers JT catches straight from the crick back home. But, seriously, y'all, Coach doesn't need to add any more hoo-doo to his Voodoo. I've had all the arse-hole eating pygmies and ancient martial arts wisdom I can take. Watching Sierra play into his hubris (rather masterfully) this episode made me feel like vomiting. If Coach starts painting himself with wode next episode and says something to the effect "At my signal, unleash hell," I'm changing the channel. (Yes, I'm aware that wode was in Braveheart -- b/c that was a highly realistic movie -- and the quote was from Gladiator; I'm also pretty sure that wouldn't bother Coach much b/c Scots and Romans live together happily in Atlantis with the Vikings and Samurai. Coach discovered Atlantis, you know. It is the mystical civilization of Machu Picchu, which he discovered at great peril to himself while tubing down the Amazon with only a joint and a six pack of Bud. He had to fight off a singular piranha, dance with a crocodile, stave off a hungry jaguar's attempt to stalk him, and let's not forget escape from starving arse-munching midgets, an evil hurricane o' doom, and the man-eating shark. I'm sure there are dragons and wizards involved also, somewhere in there, but it could have been the joint and the Bud talking there, 'cause, like, dragons and wizards don't exist. Two words: Psych Eval. Do Survivor contestants have them? And if not, why not?)

knackered: Ew. Imagery like battery acid to the brain, hon.

I thought Ben referred to Sierra as the dragon's bride when he voted. That made me really crack up .. is she the dragon's poop, the dragon's bride or a sweet princess? I would love to see the Wade family, do you think they are like him or are they running and hiding as he is revealed to SurvivorNation?

Great recap Schoonie. Loved the whole thing.

sowhat1234 touched on the fact that the Jalapao tribe was not picked apart by Timbira. It is always fun to see when ever a smaller tribe comes in and is able to eat away at the larger tribe. With Joe gone Jalap was down 3 to 6.

I think itchy is right that Stephen is going to “cut JT off at the knees.” Stephen is running this game right now and unless one of the ladies decides to make this an all female final 4 which I don’t think will happen with the level of animosity amongst the Timbira women. Ever since Joe left Stephen has been able to make every decision about who gets voted out. Taj trust him and does whatever he says and he has been waiting on the right time to vote her out ever since she “gave” him the HII. He tells JT who to vote for by making it seem like the two of them are discussion strategy and the whole time he explains why they should switch votes. After taking a few seconds and making the effort to think, JT is like “oh yeah” As his light bulb comes on.

Stephen is playing as good a game as Cire did but unlike her being the odd man out next to Parv and Amanda(?) he is the man in the Middle. Taj thinks it’s her and Stephen to the finals and they plan to take JT. JT thinks it’s him and Stephen to the end as the two of them talked about voting out Taj before the merge. I don’t want Stephen to win but he seems to be the only one with his eyes open. Everybody on Timbira is so focused on taking each other down that they don’t see what he is doing. He also seems to be playing for the end votes. They want be able to say he floated or rode coattails because he can say he made the deciding votes to out both Brandon and Tyson.

Schoonie: Best recap in a long time (and the others were good). KICKED IN THE FACE!!! HAHAHAHAHA! That's the new "THIS IS BRUTAL!!!" which made me laugh for a long time. Maybe we can combine a Sandy (Sandra? I've forgotten her crazy self already) and Sierra lexicon so that when you are in despair you say, "this is brutal the way I'm getting kicked in the face here!".

Still laughing over the pygmies eating his asshole. Oh, my sides.

BTW, I thought Coach called Sierra "the Dragon's Bride", which made me wonder which state lets you marry your own poop. Probably California. They'll let you do anything over there.

Lesile: don't ever share again! I saw that Lisi video, and wish to God I could unsee it. I wanted to turn it off, but it was like passing a car accident. An orifice up to your wrist?! Ow! OWWWW!

Itchy: I'm witchoo about Sierra. Don't want her to win, but you gotta give it to her; she's hung in there since day one when she was supposedly voted out before the game even started. I keep wondering if makeup and hair-doing is going to make her look more like a model at the results show, because right now... damn. Bring back Sydney! Candace! There's nobody pretty to watch!

Love Probst for calling BS on Coach. Do you ever remember seeing Coach do anything remotely warrior-like in a challenge? EVER? I honestly don't remember any time where people were like "we were in real deep there for a minute, but then Coach...."

I rewinded the vote 3 times, 'cause that look on Tyson/Coach/Debbie's face was priceless. From giggly/smug to wait-a-second-what-the-hell to ah crap, we've been had! GOLD baby GOLD!

whatchu talking bout Timberwolf? Apparently California won't let gay people marry eachother. But they let the poultry have better living conditions. haha

anyway, from the start i've been rooting for Sierra. But I've switched to Stephen or Erinn FTW.

Schoonie you make me crack up so much. Great recap!

Amazing episode. I'm glad Tyson is gone, what a d-bag.

I was watching with my boyfriend and when Coach made the 300lb comment, we agreed maybe he did it once-just once-when he was 20 and just omits that part lol.

This week's looks great. I love the hypocrisy of Coach telling Sierra to be loyal to their tribe when he voted Brendan out and then wanted her gone too. And Debbie's assinine comment about how Jalapao is "picking them off 1 by 1". No bitch, you did that to yourselvs lol.

Also love how Coach said Brendan pitted himself against him and he won. Ummm, it's not a real battle if the person doesn't even know they are a target...

Everyone should go to Reality Blurred and read the first story (if it's still first) on Coach. It's awesome lol.

pixi-stix, thanks for the reality blurred info. He's so deluded.

Schoonie, thanks for a hilarious recap.

pixi-stix: Thanks for sharing the article about Coach. My favorite bit is that CBS has his best-of moments encapsulated with this: "Whether he's The Dragon Slayer, the man who overcame an Amazon Pygamy attack, or the only person in America to be taught an obscure Chinese Martial Arts, no one can argue that Coach is one of a kind."

Pygamy? Really, CBS? Is that when pygmies capture you and threaten to eat your asshole if you don't marry them?

Schnooie must be right about hard economic times at CBS. They hire fourth graders to write the poems and Web editors who don't know how to run spell check. :)

OMG, Schoonie, this shit was awesome, it almost makes me want to actually watch the show and see if Cooch is as big of a dildo on TV as he is in the recaps. I imagine he's bigger (in his head at least). Although... I can't blame someone totally for choosing sweet, sweet pizza over shuffleboard, I'd be hard pressed to turn that down.

How weird is it that on this week's ANTM they ALSO had capoeira and somebody got KICKED. IN. THE. FACE!!! It was like watching the EXACT same show (full of bitchy complaining emaciated people).

Awesome job as always!

love, J-Mo :)

I jumped from my chair and started clapping when Tyson was voted out. How a TV show can invoke that kind of response from me eight years after it premiered says something about the show (and something about me).

Sierra looks so HOT in that preview post that you did and now, in the show, NOT SO HOT. I don’t think the girl in the preview post photo and the girl on the show are the same person. I think the preview post photo is of someone else. They can’t be the same person. How can the hot girl in the photo be the same bloated, puffy faced, blurred crotch girl that’s on SURVIVOR each week? It’s not possible.

When Coach was voting at tribal council he rambled on about something, “Blah, blah, blah” and then he rambled on about something else, “Blah, blah, blah” and then he said, “Goodnight, sweet princess. When he said that I thought of you, Schoonie. It’s finally happened. Now I think of you whenever Coach speaks. (Only because I know you’re rolling your eyes and throwing stuff at the TV at that point.)

P.S. I hope Smitten does not stab JT in the back. I want them to end up at the final tribal council together. I want them to get married, to each other, at that final tribal council under a big eucalyptus tree. Jeff or Coach can officiate.

Love your Blogs! Just got done reading the 24 blog and found my self lol several times.

This was by far one of the best epsodes of Survivor that I have ever seen. But I am not sure that things are going to turn out like we all want them to. I too would love to see Coach and Deb get their walking papers, but if that happens...Erin and Sierra have to know that the remaining members of the Jal tribe will then have the numbers and they will stick together.
So as much as it pains me to think, I will not be supprised if Coach can convince Erin and Sierra of this and they begin to pick off the remaining Jal Tribe members while they still have the numbers. The only catch to that would be Seirra. She has been and will be the outcast on either tribe. So she may be Jals only hope. If she sticks with the Jal tribe and Erin then once Coach and Deb are gone then Seirra is gone (if not before). If she goes back with her original tribe then once the three Jal members are gone she would be the first to go.
One of the Jal tribe members needs to think about how much she is disliked by pretty much everyone and taking her to the final two would be a pretty automatic win. I think that Taj or Steven may think of this and use her to turn on JT who is really the only physcal treat left.
The other option could be for all of the girls to band together and get rid of the guys...but we all know that four women could never get along well enough to pull off something like that!

One way or another it is going to be fun to watch this season unfold!

Not to worry, v-cap...you're forgetting that Coach has absolutely no notion of strategy whatsoever. The guy's a clown, and he's only there because everyone knows this.

Interesting point about Sierra and Erinn still being able to turn this around. Unfortunately, they all seem way too stupid to grasp this.

Itchy: I dunno... Erin did come up with the plan to blindside Tyson, after all.

Schoonie: I realized I forgot to thank you for this awesome AWESOME recap. My husband and I laughed our asses off. No, really. I now have no ass. Well, except for my husband. *rimshot*

Sweet recap Schoonie! Thanks! I suspect Sierra is really quite awful to be around and has been getting a very favorable edit. There are some hints at how she's annoying around camp, some one made the comment "Sierra, you are always jumping into the conversation with a negative comment" or something like that. It's possible she is really VERY annoying and the editors just aren't showing it? Also if she really dates a Survivor production member how could she be allowed to win? Maybe she's dating the editor? Haha. Anyway I love that Cooch is throwing loyality into her face in the next episode. I can't imagine Erinn or Sierra teaming up with cooch. I think they'll vote him off as soon as possible. Well Cooch will finally have a chance to go balls to the walls for the immunity necklace. Now we can see what he's really made of!

"JT who is really the only physical treat left"

I gotta agree with you there, v_cap!

Oh by the way, I was kicked in the face once and when I came to my eyes were puffy and swollen shut, my nose was smashed on my face and I was unfocused and stupid for a while.....umm Maybe Sierra should come up with a new catch phrase.

I wondered about Sierra dating a production member too; I think while they are actually on the show they aren't allowed to interact with the crew. So I was wondering if it happened once she got to Ponderosa. Watching the Ponderosa video with Brendan and Tyler makes it seem like they can interact with the crew; they were all eating at the same table. Don't know if that is what happened or not but just an observation.

Cooch...yes, yes...that's it, that's who/what he is.

Snootch: you're right, Erinn might just be a breakout character (she's actually pretty hot-looking in her own way, can't wait to see her all cleaned up for the final). She's been a pretty minor player throughout though.

I'd assumed that Sierra hooked up with whoever after the show -- the filming was six months ago or whatever, right?

Soapboxx: you got kicked in the face? THAT'S BRUTAL!!!

JEEPERS!

(That's the word I miss...)

Omg.
Best. Recap. EVER!

I'm totally kicked in the face right now.