I'm glad "Survivor" is now back to its old format. And I'm also glad for Schoonie. This is his substitute "Big Brother". This is his home. For example, his funniest quote is "Working together is for Yankees and fags!"

Now that we have comments on all pages, I will do another comment: Awesome video. It is now one of my YouTube faves.

Heck, I'll keep this website on my computer until I see someone else do a comment. I just figured since I'm one of the first to see this, I decide to make myself at home. Schoonie is my idol on TVGasm. You don't even know, man.

Awesome funny recap Schoonie!

I'm so glad Survivor is back and the anticlimatic finale of BB is over!!! Entertaining and hilarious recap, Schoonie. You never fail to crack me up.

I hate Chicken and am so happy he is gone. When I first saw him I was hoping for a folksy "character" like Tom from Survivor: Africa, but instead disliked him instantly. He forgot the number 1 rule of being in a group dynamic - Unless you have a better idea, don't s@*t all over everybody else's. And if you had better ideas and didn't share them so you wouldn't have to be the "leader", then you're someone who is willing to let your team fail at the sake of saving your own face and should be sent packing anyway. But it was pretty awesome how he made SugarT#@s jump when he yelled Damn.

Dave is really shady. Like creepy, sleep with one eye open shady. And I love that he's a "Former Model". Considering the gray in his hair I think it's a little pathetic to still be holding on that job title. What have you done lately, Shady Dave?

I thought Christian radio-talk show lady needed to CHILL OUT. Bowing doesn't mean worship, and Buddhists don't "worship" the Buddha the way Christians "worship" Jesus Christ as a god. If she brought a Buddhist to church wouldn't she likely expect them to kneel and stand where appropriate?

Happy to have an instant dislike for her - also for NY lemonade girl. Chill out - you're the reason people roll their eyes when I tell them I'm from NY.

I was disappointed with Courtney. I had thought I would like her but she annoyed me immediately. I kept saying, "Uhm, yeah, you are SO NOT Gwen Stefani!" I actually liked chicken, Schoonie, but he was doomed. Great recap. And thanks for all the extra info - like on the poker guy.

Great recap Schoonie; I've been looking forward to it. I was a little surprised you didn't include a screencap of James for me to drool over, or any eye candy for that matter! I had to pause my DVR just as James was unclipping during the challenge and it landed on such a glorious shot, which, alas, I had to change immediately as it was inappropriate for my 7 year old daughter. For all my attempts I can't get that image again. I agree that Chicken needed to go, but I didn't find Courtney nearly as offensive. Granted, I wouldn't want to hang out with her, but this New Yorker was able to see where she was coming from everytime except the welcome ceremony. All that aside, please share the stills of James at work!

That Chicken dude is an embarrassment to all the good chickens of the world :-(

If anyone is interested, I have video highlights from the episode. Google for "chickens watching Survivor" :-)

oh yeah, bowing to a bunch of buddha statues inside a temple, not religious at all. (pls note sarcasm).
I thought she stepped out of the situation as nicely as possible, saying sorry on the way out. At least she wasnt totally rude and immature like Courtney, making faces. I think its admirable to stand up for what you believe, thats all I'm sayin.

I am STILL crying over your description of Denise's mullet on the first page! Funny stuff. I am so happy Survivor is back. Not only because I love the show, but for these recaps!

The only person I really can't stand so far is Courtney. What a brat. All the eye rolling and also the limp hands during the ceremony. It would have been better had she bowed out, too.

I thought Leslie handled the ceremony well and commend her for doing what she thought was right in her own heart. It wouldn't have been a big deal if Jeff hadn't brought it up. At least they didn't play cheesy organ music as she walked out.

I really like James a lot and hope he sticks around for a long time.

Can't wait 'til next week and the next recap!

and Dave...ick! Hopefully his tribe will be the kind that loses every challenge, and did he really say pretty please? Please go away.
"Former model, current tool" - - hilarious.

I actually liked Chicken heh. Sure he saw himself as better than everyone else, but meh. Whatever. He's gone now so it doesn't matter anymore.

That freaking Courtney chick sucks! Good lord she's annoying.
I watched her interview before the show started and I hated her in an instant.
What a heifer.

Didn't take me long to figure Courtney was going to be my new Dicklet. God, she's annoying. Her comment about being stuck with "school teachers and flight attendants" reminded me of the Seinfeld ep when Sela Ward said she couldn't respect him because he was a stand-up comedian. He, in surprise, shouts "You're a CASHIER!

Jean Robert is a tool I've seen him before. I thought he looked more likr Lurch after swallowing a basketball. He'll tool himself out of the show.

James, on the other hand, if he can display any leadership abilities is going to be the one to watch. He's quiet, strong and hard-working.

Well, we're off! Thanks, Schoonie, for a great first recap. I'll look forward to all the rest.

Great recap schoonie,
I cannot stop laughing about lunch lady's mullet. You want to buy it a present. Maybe cheetos. That is the funniest thing and I have absolutely no idea how you got there. Doesn't matter it's funny.

I find Leslie extremely annoying. As soon as she said that she's "not a religious person" I lost it. Right, she's not religious but she couldn't handle the welcoming ceremony because it was too "religious" she immediately thanked the "big guy upstairs" for the rain and she's a freaking Christian radio host! She needs to go and Courtney needs to go. Good start to the season though!

Schoonie,
Great recap! Good to see you back in your wheelhouse. Survivor always seems to do a better job of casting than BB. Maybe it's just that it's easier to find "real" people who can take 39 days out of their lives as opposed to 75-80?

A few of my initial thoughts:

1. What a display of douchbaggery by Chicken. When I saw this guy's bio, it was clear he was casted to play this season's loveable hick character. I can only think he must have been cranky from being hungry to not realize you can't act that way around people who have the option of making you go away with a few strokes of a marker.

2. Peih-Gee - way to be a stereotype and play this season's bossy, know-it-all Asian woman, played to perfection last season by Sylvia (the architect).

3. James reminds me of the condemned inmate played by Michael Clarke Duncan in "The Green Mile."

4. Courtney and her whole "cooler than thou" thing is an embarrassment to all us New Yorkers. Plus, don't you think she would have tried to beef up and put on a few pounds before going on "Survivor"?? Jesus, she looks as skeletal now as most people look at the end of the show? Is this an advantage in that she's obviously used to not eating, or will she be breaking down after a week?

5. Denise - how can you not love her and her balls-out mullet?

6. Ashley - After a few weeks of starvation, her implants will be looking like beached jellyfish (if she can make it that far).

7. Sherea - Schoonie, how could you not comment on Sherea bursting out of her bra like that? Her boobs are bigger than Ashley's, and appear natural. She's obviously casted to be this seasons, busty, black woman who lags at the physical and survival part of the game, but becomes everyones' friend and sounding board and excels at the social game (this seasons version of Cerie, Cassandra, etc.)

8. Dave - I agree, creepy & awkward.

9. Aaron - either a very early target or will be around a long time.

Amazing the contrast between how much money and thought they put into "Survivor" vs. the cheesy and cheap-ass challenges they do for BB.

Survivor is like pizza or sex, in that even when it's not great it's still pretty damn good, and better than most other things that you could be watching. Looking forward to what could be another great season, and your funny and insightful recaps, Schoon.
-JR

Great recap, Schoonie! Glad you're doing Survivor as well. I have to agree with Tadow - more James, please! While he was chopping down the trees, I yelled out "DAMN!" and scared my husband. And Im originally from Cincinnati, and I can tell you its not the mullet the Bengal fans are sporting, its the Chad Johnson mohawk.

Awesome recap, Schoonie! Aren't you glad to be out of BB hell? Can't wait for more recaps from you! Loved the Raiders slam - so true!

Two things:
1. Did anyone else notice the screwed up editing that showed Sherea (I'm pretty sure it was her) walking around camp with white running shoes on? I thought she only had heels??
2. Leslie confuses me. If you host a CHRISTIAN radio talk show and refuse to take part in a non-religious ceremony due to your boyfriend Jesus, does that not make you religious?

I can understand Leslie's unwillingness to participate in a ceremony that includes bowinfg before a giant Buddha statue. I doubt Jeff would have raised an eyebrow if the situation had been a Buddhist walking out of a ceremony held inside a Catholic church wherein participants were asked to venerate the Cross.

And I'm still fuming about the ouster of Chicken. Brilliant. Keep the lay-about female wrestler and get rid of the guy who built the shelter. Do these guys not understand the concept of the game? Right now thay should be concentrating on keeping a physically strong team which can build a decent living area...not maintaining a bunch of people who show off their "dance" moves or whose claim to fame is her star tattoos and built-in flotation devices.

I love the grave-digger guy, though.

I understand why Leslie was uncomfortable taking part in a "welcome ceremony" which included bowing before a giant Buddha statue. And if the situation had been a Buddhist objecting to a ceremony held in a Catholic church wherein participants were asked to venerate the Cross, I doubt Jeff would have raised an eyebrow.

And I'm still annoyed with the ouster of Chicken. Brilliant strategy...keep the people practicing their "dance" moves and the lay-about wrestler whose claim to fame is her star tattoos and her built-inflotation devices, and get rid of the guy who built the shelter.

I like the grave-digger guy, though.

Sorry about the double post. I initially got an "error" message that said the first message didn't take.

Ain't technology grand...

"Keep the lay-about female wrestler and get rid of the guy who built the shelter."

He didn't build the shelter. In fact, if you watch closely, Chicken never even lifts a finger. He only bitches about the fingers that other people are lifting. Which, in my opinion, is worse than being a "layabout", because at least then you have zero effect on stuff instead of actively negatively affecting things like Chicken did.

"1. Did anyone else notice the screwed up editing that showed Sherea (I'm pretty sure it was her) walking around camp with white running shoes on? I thought she only had heels??"

They gave everyone their running shoes for the challenge. Jeff told them they could all keep them before the challenge started.

Thanks for the kudos, everybody! So much better than BB.

I forgot to include in my comments...your description of Dave and his antics made me laugh until my sides hurt! Thanks for that.

I'm surprise you let the Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon team names pass so easily, though. I wondered if the Survivor writers paid a royalty to anyone for the tribe names...

And yes, it's good to be Donato-free.

Sorry Schoonie... I should have mentioned that the scene with the shoes was played before the challenge. It made sense after the challenge happened, but about 10 minutes before, it was quite a wtf moment.

And where did Boobs Malone's shirt come from? She had on some "dress" and all of a sudden has a blue t-shirt?

Trivial-

I agree one should stand up for what one believes in, however one should also understand what they are standing "against". Buddhists don't worship Buddha - period, therefore participating in the ceremony is not worshipping a false idol. Buddha is a teacher, a symbol of enlightenment, not a "God".

I guess I'm just surprised people don't know that. I learned it in like eighth grade.

Dear trivial, DO NOT HOPE THAT HAPPENS. THAT MAKES FOR THE WORST SEASONS EVER. AND, YES, I HATED "FIJI". AND NO, MY NAME IS NOT CHICKEN.