Well, another week down and another pleasantly enjoyable, although not exactly exciting, episode of Survivor: Vanuatu has passed. This may not be the most - how do you say - intense season, but the jiggle ratio is quite impressive and the concentration of blandness amongst the men is really quite a feat for casting. Truthfully, I'm not really down on the show. Every now and then we get a bum season (Africa, Thailand), but the series always bounces back with great vigor. So for now, I'm just going to quietly take Vanuatu for what it's worth and hope that Mark Burnett stops fooling around with junk like "The Casino" and "The Contender" and focuses on things like, I don't know, good casting for his trademark show.
The good news is that even the worst casting can't undermine the pure joy of a cat fight, and that's what we got right at the top of the show. Eliza was just a wee bit mad at breasty Lisa for backing out of the alliance, a complaint Lisa had leveled at Eliza just two days prior. This spat of course led to lots of dazed looking people in night vision and of course the obligatory shots of crabs scuttling around the beach. Run for cover! The humans are arguing and if we don't move, there will be no symbolic imagery!!!
Anyway, after Eliza served up a fresh cocktail of passive aggression and sort of deserved annoyance, Lisa made her point clear: "I'm not going to be confrontational!" she yelled, uh, confrontationally. Scout meanwhile threw in a dash of her own brand of eco-friendly passive aggression when she said, "My environment is a little polluted. I'm going to sleep." Twila followed, probably sad that Ami's feminine makeover wouldn't be happening that night. As the team settled in for a long, angry night, Lisa nestled in with the older women, a smart move which could keep her in the game just long enough.
Over with the men at Lopevi, young John was complaining about the voting strategy. Like, all the young guys are getting voted off. What's the deal, yo? Actually, what John really said was that "all the good young guys with personality are gone." Yes, those shining personalities. Remember JP and the time he said... that thing? Or Brooke when he was super charismatic about... you know... uh... He was radiant, okay? Just trust me! Besides, the younger guys are more athletic, John said. Brady agreed. The younger guys are quick, nimble, and strong. This was followed by a shot of a coconut landing on Brady's head. Seriously.
Meanwhile, at dysfunction junction - aka the Yasur tribe - the girls eyed a rainbow, which of course prompted Ami to remark that it's a sign that the girls are going to win. Hey, Ami, just so you know, that wasn't a private rainbow. It shone for the guys too. Just saying. Anyway, both tribes made their way over to good ole Jeff Probst and the latest reward challenge. After some mindless banter, Jeff asked one of his favorite questions:
"Wanna know what you're playing for?" Everyone nodded and a black man in a loincloth of sorts appeared by Jeff's side. Well, apparently they're playing for a slave! Oh wait, no. According to Probst, the guy was a "rockstar" on the island. "He knows how to find food, how to catch food, how to cook food," Jeff said. "Plus, he's HILarious." Okay, that was a reference to last week's Real World. I apologize, but if you're confused, click here.
Anyway, what followed was a rather ordinary game of memory that the women took an early lead in. Eventually, it was up to Lisa to find the winning pair of random objects. As she walked - or pranced really - over to the potentially winning basket, the women all huddled together in a circle which had me wondering if there was some game of Family Feud going on. They looked like they were ready to steal the answer after three strikes. Anyway, Lisa made the correct choice, which meant the gals all could have their island guide, Da, for a day. It was during this time that I also noticed that sneaky Ami had given Twila that French Braid she'd been talking about at last Tribal Council. How could we be deprived of this awkward Twila moment??
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Comments (12)
"Makeshift Lilith Fair." Heh.
1 of 12 | Posted by revolva | Posted on October 7, 2004 11:12 PM
Jiggle factor :-)
Have you seen those pics of Amy from playboy. Woohoo
2 of 12 | Posted by J | Posted on October 8, 2004 7:54 AM
Bubba was the one wearing the Bob Barker shirt and blubbering about "my boys", not Rory.
3 of 12 | Posted by eyeroller | Posted on October 8, 2004 8:54 AM
When Da came out of the jungle, I totally thought "The reward is a big black man?".
And you could sense the almost desperate guidance Probst was trying to give at tribal council, knowing that the eye candy on the mens' side has dwindled to almost nothing. Bye Brady, you were our last hope... Next time they simply need to cast fewer fat guys to begin with.
4 of 12 | Posted by Kirby | Posted on October 8, 2004 9:12 AM
Thanks Eyeroller, that's what I meant. Typo...
5 of 12 | Posted by b-side | Posted on October 8, 2004 9:18 AM
Jiggle rate? Those plastic things couldn't jiggle if they were on a trampoline.
This season is particularly dry. In fact at some points me & my girlfriend kept asking each other where this or that person came from.
I hope Twila wins the money, someone falls in a volcano & Da carries Bubba away to a hut.
Otherwise I see this thing as remaining pretty ho-hum.
6 of 12 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on October 8, 2004 10:43 AM
Twila scares me. I think I saw her in a movie once. I'm pretty sure she was sitting on a porch behind a banjo player in Deliverence. I also noticed Rory must have been a BB5 fan by the way he attempted to make his survivor buff into a mandanna of sorts! I laughed every time I saw him.
7 of 12 | Posted by TTime | Posted on October 8, 2004 11:02 AM
Well, you knew a guy like Brady would have had to go on a Colby-esque immunity run to make it long after the merge, but I thought for sure with such a big numbers advantage that the old'n'husky alliance might keep him around and jettison Fat Urkel before he pushes Sarge over the edge. It makes even more sense to have kept Brady around considering how much extra weight he was pulling around camp to buy himself a few more days.
Lucky for the dudes, the ladies have yet to purge the gimpy hippie professor, who seems well-protected by bulldog Twila and fellow granola-lesbian Ami and may yet endure long enough to cost the women another challenge or two.
These people are so bland that they're not even particularly mock-worthy. Burnett's luck has never been so bad in the casting department. I couldn't even stay awake if it weren't for the steady supply of boobie shots courtesy of Ami, Lisa, and the horny Survivor camera crew. Where's Johnny Fairplay when you need him?
8 of 12 | Posted by jack | Posted on October 8, 2004 12:11 PM
sorry, b-side. i ranted about the casting on this show when i commented on THE APPRENTICE in the post above.
i absolutely agree. burnett does have his 'off' seasons, and the only thing i pray is that they don't bring RUPERT out as a prize in an upcoming episode. i think it's the only thing that could make this season more annoying.
BRING BACK DA!!!
9 of 12 | Posted by drew | Posted on October 8, 2004 12:38 PM
Yeah, what the hell song was that they were singing, anyway? Did Burnett like, teach them that before the show?? Never heard it in my life.. Quite the makeshift harmonizing going on, too. They must have had practice sessions..
10 of 12 | Posted by meeshie | Posted on October 9, 2004 11:03 AM
i wanna see dolly on the cover of playboy!
11 of 12 | Posted by Jan | Posted on October 11, 2004 11:18 PM
Cool cool
12 of 12 | Posted by from playboy | Posted on November 1, 2004 2:29 PM