The season (possibly series) finale! Sarah is in prison, then not! John and Hotbot sort of have sex! B.A.G. is back from the dead, and of course - robots fight each other!
Well kids, from what I've read on the Interwebs, this may be the very last episode of "Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles of Narnia" ever. So let's make this one count, shall we? Let's do this!!
We begin with Sarah in a police interrogation cell, for, as you may recall, Sarah was arrested at the end of the previous episode. Considering that she physically attacked numerous police officers during that arrest, I must say she looks very non-abused. Whatever area she got busted in must have very restrained cops, cause where I live if you attack a cop your ass is getting beat.
Then Jeremy from "Sports Night," I mean Agent Aldrich (Joshua Malina) comes in to interrogate our heroine. He gives a little run down of her many crimes, then asks about her son and daughter. Oh yeah, I forgot anyone still thought that Cameron the sexy robot was her daughter. Well Sarah continues her "my son is dead" lie, claiming that John died in the bank explosion from the pilot ep. But considering that she supposedly died in the same explosion and now her she is - it's not a super convincing lie. Jeremy from "Sports Night" doesn't buy it for a sec. He knows a lot about sports history. He's a nerd. And nerds are smart.
Meanwhile, we catch up with world-saving-messiah-in-training and championship whiner, John Conner, hanging out in a motel with the Hotbot. John is antsy and wants to leave the room to go use the Interweb, but Hotbot drops some robot logic on him and says that it's too risky to go out in public this close to the incident. "This is not an incident, this is my mother!" But his human illogic is no match for her logical robot logic.
Hotbot claims he wants to get the blueprints for the prison Sarah is in, but then John's all like, nope I wanna do research on shielded nuclear power sources. Basically he's saying he thinks Hotbot gave his momz cancer. I'm not sure how this makes any sense in his mind considering that this whole cancer storyline came from the fact that they say Sarah Conner died of cancer in Terminator 3: Shitty Shitfest. How could Hotbot have caused it? Clearly it's being caused by whatever had caused it before.
Then we join the Culligan man robot who shot Brian Austin Green in the bean last ep. He is repairing a loose skin flap on his chest. Pft. Come on, bro. Didn't you learn anything from Arnold in the first movie? You cover body wounds with a coat, hand wounds with gloves, and eye wounds with sunglasses. Glue? Get with the program.
Over at Evil Robot Corp: John Henry is playing D&D with the nerdy tech guy. In the game some creature called an "umber hulk" attacks him. John Henry says, "I attack the umber hulk," then he rolls a 20 and the tech nerd is all surprised and shit. I can't really gauge how impressive this is supposed to be as D&D has never really made any sense to me, rules-wise. Kinda seems like he's cheating to me. He is a robot after all.
Then our lovely T-1000, Ms Weaver, shows up and points out that John Henry IS probably cheating at D&D - I knew it! It's like my grandfather always said, "All robots are dirty liars." She asks how quickly tech nerd can pack up John Henry (he's a super computer with an external robot attached if your forgot) for transport.
Tech Nerd says this is a bad idea. Apparently last week (wasn't I watching the show last week?) a small and unimportant wire in John Henry needed to be replaced and doing even that altered his personality slightly. This means John Henry isn't just a computer program like we think, he's another kind of computer program where you can't replace parts cause he's so human or... er... wait, I just had it... he's more like a human brain than a computer, where you can't just take pieces out and stuff. Yeah. Or... and hear me out...
Or John Henry's a really shitty super computer where he can't even maintain consistency when one little and useless wire needs replacing. My dad was exactly the same after they replaced his knee. My dad is more awesome than John Henry I guess.
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Comments (5)
The Mystery Girl was from a gang back in season 1. And the eel was, literally, the eel from her fish tank (remember how she said it only attacked when provoked in the last episode?). I suspect the show is over. It seems expensive to produce and jumps around a lot (the USS Jimmy Carter, anyone?). I hope this won't get Summer Glau typecast as someone who can't emote. Cameron shows a wider range of emotion than John, after all.
1 of 5 | Posted by echo27 | Posted on April 14, 2009 6:39 AM
Time to Nerd out:
The Priest wasn't from the Mexico adventure, he was from the first episode of the season when Hotbot was evil from the explosion (set-up by Dr. Venture) and trying to kill Sarah & John.
The Mystery Girl was the only survivor of the gang that sold passports and explained 9/11 to Sarah. Dr. Venture also killed them BTW (before John eventually strangled him for hitting his mom).
Weaver is a T-1000, she can't have been the plane. T-1000's can become machines, the future Terminator plane was clearly sent by John Henry's evil bro, Skynet. Is it just me, or in this series does it seem like the T-1000 is supposed to be from the liquid "alien" race from THE ABYSS? I mean, that is another James Cameron movie, but can they do that?
That's not Cameron at the end in the future. She's hanging out with a dog. Dog's HATE Terminators. That's the chick we saw earlier in the season who eventually get replaced by Cameron. I suspect in the (hopefully happening, but probably not) Season 3 John falls in love with her, and then she gets replaced by Cameron.
Still, great recap! I really wish you do more!
2 of 5 | Posted by Poopfloats | Posted on April 14, 2009 12:10 PM
P.S. A 20 is the highest roll in D&D and essentially unstoppable.
3 of 5 | Posted by Poopfloats | Posted on April 14, 2009 12:12 PM
This is probably the best and funniest recap I have read so far this year!!
You guys are so great. I now watch these shows just looking for things that I know you're going to slam in your recaps...lol
4 of 5 | Posted by southern_essence | Posted on April 15, 2009 8:28 AM
Great recap! Thanks.
I hope it is renewed, but I think the reasons already stated are working against it.
Besides, sometimes it's better to wrap before you run out of good material.
5 of 5 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on April 15, 2009 12:13 PM