Hey there THAT'S AMORE! lovers. Can you believe it's only week 4 and we're already down to 5 girls?! We've got two brunettes and three blondes left, so Domenico has done a nice job giving himself some variety. In fact, tensions were so high between the blondes and brunettes that at one point, a challenge had to be created seperating each into teams. Christina became a casualty of war during that challenge for nearly slicing open her shocker finger with a cheese grater. Ever since then she's been ready to pop off Tanisha-style, and Kathleen, prayers unanswered by Jesus, looks to be her first victim.
Consider it God's revenge for using your vagina as a handiwipe last week.
We start this saga with Talor and Kathleen discussing why Christina doesn't like them. Kathleen thinks it's because Talor has big boobs and is skinny, but after we meet Christina's mom (more on that later), I think it might have to do with the fact that comparatively, Talor's family seems pretty well grounded. Christina, not one to stand idly while people psycho analyze her, confronts Kathleen and Talor for their shit-talkery and sets the stage for the craziness to come. Seriously though, you'll find out that Christina's mom is batshit insane and I don't blame her for having a chip on her shoulder. Wouldn't you if your mom was a washed up Myrtle Beach bartender.
Who says drinking, smoking and heroin are bad while pregnant? Look at this winner!
After the tensions cool a bit, all the girls except Megan head out to Ashley's trailer. The General asks where Ashley is and whether or not she's "taking a shit", solidifying his place as one of the most charming rednecks in MTV's history.
Sorry, buddy but you were always kinda lame.
The girls actually take advantage of this opportunity to increasingly talk shit about Megan, and it eggs AShley on to admit that he "[doesn't] even know if she has a personality." The girls also use the opportunity to pick on Kathleen, with Kim saying something about religion and Kathleen responding by saying that she "used to be into religion, but I'm trying to get out of that." Yeah,that shit is totally over. On a side note, don't you guys feel bad for General Lee? Won't Domenico throw him a bone? On the other hand, maybe he's got Rebecca chained in the back living off of Cheetos and Diet Dr. Pepper.
"Dem natr'l male enhancer pills ought be kickin' in aaaaany second naw.......aaaaany second...."
Pizza mail comes later in the day, and Domenico's note tells the girls to get dressed up and meet in the foyer. When the girls meet him, he said he thought about having a nice quiet dinner, but then thought that no, they should do something crazier. Little did he know he would soon meet the nastiest cougar this side of Susan Lucci - Christina's white trash mommy (w.t. mommy from now on). But it's not just Christina's embarrassing family that we get to meet - all the girls' relatives will be coming in to be disappointed/give their small town co-workers something to talk about.
Wait till Stu at the plant hears about this!
Considering I'm not really amusing unless I'm making fun of someone, let's run down the list to see who these simpletons are.
Kathleen's dad thinks Dom doesn't understand english, and while good-intentioned. He seems to have a case of the dumbass and might be a chubby chaser.
Megan's mom and uncle are pretty much as boring as she is. Seriously. So boring I don't even know what to say about them except that Megan's uncle looks like a trimmed down version of the dad from Just the Ten of Us. But that's all.
Christina's mom and godmother I've already discussed at length. Suffice to say, the first thing they do and continue doing throughout their terrible stay there, is to continue shouting "Yeager Bomb! Yager Bomb! Yeager Bomb!" to the point where the show starts to keep a counter. Domenico says they're "fun and a little fucked up too" which is about right minus the fun.
Talor's mom belongs on Real Housewives of Orange County, and her stepdad is a born douchebag, but charms me when he says he thinks the heart shaped bed room is "cool."
Kim's parents look Canadian Wal-Mart employees, and act like it too. In other words, they're really nice. So how did they create that little hellspawn? Did Kim's mom get roofied by Satan or, even worse, Donald Trump?
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Comments (5)
Ha, so there IS someone else in the world watching this show! Just when you think it can't get any worse, they come up with....a cannoli challenge?
I agree with almost everything you wrote Hayhor, but as I posted in the forum, I completely changed my opinion of Kim during this episode--all of a sudden I started to like her ... Of course, that might have been the editing (Dom and I agree!)...but with her family (bet Mom and Dad did lots of drugs in the 70s) around she just became this kind of sweet, wounded, weirdly unsexy but otherwise okay kid. And the only girl whose family isn't dysfunctional. My take (because I'm a sucker for a happy ending): with her family around, she feels less insecure and doesn't have to pull all that nasty (although fun) stuff on the others. Can't wait until she has a show of her own!
Time will tell...we're almost at the end of this trainwreck...I'm going to miss it.
1 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 28, 2008 12:10 AM
Kim lowered our expectations in the first place when she acted like a total c-word to every other girl in the house. The fact that she's acting somewhat normal because her parents are around means that she's typically not this pleasant, and despite how genuine she looked this week, is still deep down inside, a pain in the ass. That being said, she was really sweet this week and it was a welcome change from her typical shrewiness - before saying Kim's made a change for the better, I'd like to see how she's gonna do in the coming episodes. I think she'll go far and might even win, but trust me she will find a way to be a bitch again.
Either way, who gives a shit? This is a 10th tier reality dating show on MTV. If Domenico can sleep with Kim (at some point another) and get her to shut up during the fornicating, he's already a winner.
2 of 5 | Posted by Hayhor | Posted on March 28, 2008 8:31 AM
Love the "Whores." screencap.
3 of 5 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on March 28, 2008 1:51 PM
I cannot watch this show at all, because Domenico is a douchebag.
4 of 5 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on March 28, 2008 2:16 PM
Oh this show just boggles the mind alright...
I have the feeling that this show is what television has ALWAYS been about. It's just taken 50 years to get here, that's all.
Can't wait until Kim gets her own show. That has to be one of the signs of the Apocalypse.
5 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on March 28, 2008 5:13 PM