dear sg-dub,

what really bugged me about this show is that carrie is supposedly a creative director, and yet she put herself on the corporate team.

wassupwidat?

cordially,

copygodd

p.s. great recap.

A fantastic synopsis ... didn't Jim star in "American Psycho" a real warm guy!

Pretty much the same show as The Donalds' ... can't really see an audience for both ... I'll stick with the original.

Ew! Ew! Ew! Dawn was a nasty crotch that wasn't a team player. I know that Jeff could be a bit Hitler-like, but Dawn was an *sshole. So was Jim for that matter. Did you notice how they became catty and nasty so quickly? It usually takes the Donald's APPRENTICE a few episodes to turn bitchy.

Excellent recap! I was laughing from the moment I read about the homemade cream sauce ("...so much so that afterwards I celebrated by whipping up some fresh homemade cream sauce in honor of Martha. And then I cleaned up and went to the kitchen to cook something as well"). I only wish you'd written more about what tools the contestants are. Like that guy who said he's falling in love with Martha Stewart or when the contestants were at the publishing house, all of them started clapping when they learned the task. Those were the biggest WTF moments of the show if you ask me.

uh - who does say 'herbs' with an 'h'?

I have not seen one episode, but does Shawn remind you of Jennifer Jason Leigh's psychotic character in Single White Female? I am waiting for the episode she gets her hair exactly like Martha's and becomes the Martha.

Is Alexi the next Melissa Rivers?

Wow that picture really does look like Suze Orman

Dear sg-dub,

Thank you for making me laugh so hard I snorted.

Cordially,
mountain girl

You had me at "homemade cream sauce". That girl looks EXACTLY like Suze Orman - freaky. Excellent recap, thanks.

Great recap -- you hit on all the points that made me laugh or go "huh?" though there was a lot more "huh?" than laughs.

At first I thought Jim was trying to become this season's "character" along the lines of Raj, but by the end I decided that he's just that annoying 24/7.

It's not a perfect show, but I find it a lot easier to listen to and watch Martha than The Donald.

NB Martha Stewart (which i pronounce stu/WART) if you struck it rich gold-digging you are a pussy-made millionaire NOT a self-made millionaire. See the difference? You probably wouldn't since you yourself are a cunt.

Only when she didn't freak out at the end of the story-reading and eat all the children did I realize that WASN'T Suze Orman.

Dear Sug-dub,

Is that "OH-MAHJ" or "omidge" in your note to Martha re: her assistants? I want to be able to read your recaps in an authentic voice. Thanks ever so!

Bobbie

I was disappointed the show was SO much like the other Apprentice. Even the music was the same! At least Martha is easier to listen to. sg-dub, your hilarious recaps will keep me watching this rip-off show just so I can laugh out loud the next day. Loved the vision of Jeff in his lederhosen and nipple clamps. Genius!

Also, when Martha delivered her much anticipated catchphrase, nobody even recognized it for what it was. Jeff didn't realized he was fired til she awkwardly said "Goodbye."
I expected better from you, Martha. You let me down.

"the only flavor present in the bunch was Vietnamese Jennifer. And something tells me she's not exactly going to be 'keeping it real,' as it were."

I'm sure the candiDATES will be challenged to plow a rice patty or give *The Marthandroid a mani-peti or do some really hard math. Then it'll be Jennifer's time to shine.

*What do you think of the phrase Marthandroid? eh? eh? Cuz if this bitch aint a match for the Chenbot, who is?

>

brits. and me, since i'm married to one. best used extensively on passover for added seder hilarity: "bitter *h*erbs".

p.s. the above was supposed to be an answer to: "who does say 'herbs' with an 'h'?"

Dear sg-dub,

Thank you for making me pee in my pants, just a little bit.

Cordially,

Shelley

seriously, i have read this recap three times now. it is fantastic, and QUITE funny.

good work, except you made me snort out loud, and that my dear is not a good thing.

(and it is prestigous, not presteeegous, if you have any questions, you can reach me at my labor-uh-tory)

Personally, I thought the letter was inspired. So very Martha--no matter that I just canned your ass, but I will write you an excruciatingly polite letter to show that you mean absolutely nothing to me.

Turn the knife, baby!

Doesn't "Suze Orman" look like she just stepped out of "To Sir With Love"? All she needs is some white lipstick.

I too loved the homemade cream sauce.

Martha should have told them "Hey, this just ain't living"

the next day, on her other show, the daytime one, which now looks alarmingly like Oprah's show, Jeff the loser was a guest. She was all sweet to him and he brought her a present, a paper quill (?) picture of flowers that he'd made from her instructions on another show. It was tacky.

I'm with you on the prestihgious, but, candidates? Isn't that how you're supposed to say it? Maybe it's a regional thing, but that's the only way I've ever noticed it pronounced. Candidits? Huh? (And, not that Trumpie's the arbiter of all things proper by any means, but I'm watching TA: Donald right now, and he pronounces it the same way, too. So, I'm thinking the dits/dates thing must just be a regional accent issue . . . "candidits" sounds much like "nucular" to my ear"). Now, *H*erbs, otoh? Yeah, that's *definitely* a regional thing, but it sure ain't Martha's region, so knock it off with the Madonnaccent, MDiddy.

[Oooh. I just checked, since I figured maybe it was we New Yorkers who were saying it wrong. (After all, I didn't know the "-er" in "drawer" wasn't SUPPOSED to be a silent -er until I was like 20). In all of the dictionaries I checked, -date and -dit are both listed, with -date as the preferred pronunciation. Neener neener. Don't hate].

Great Recap! one minor point, it is a Chevy Suburban she is driving not a Lincoln Navigator. Please, we paid her a lot of money for that product placement.

I kept watching in anticipation of her ankle bracelet going off and swarms of cops pouncing on her. Perhaps in the next episode.

And FYI, Random House is supposedly publishing the Jack and the Beanstock book for some reason...

So the guy wants to do Martha???
Would that make him a MarthaFucker???

The problem with Martha Stewart is that the has absolutely no charisma, she is completely wooden in front of the camera.

To pl;ume #29: no that would make him a very sad individual.

"Yeah, well, my first impression of Charles is that he's a tool. From the get-go, he held an unlit cigar in his hand as a prop. Does George need a prop? Nooooooooo. Conclusion: Charles has a small penis."

LMAO...PRICELESS.