How Suite It Isn't - 
by sg-dub
The publicity train for The Apprentice: Martha Stewart rolled on this week, with the industry rags quoting Martha's stylist as saying, "This is the week Martha really got comfortable and the show will be great from here on out." No word if the reason is because of the fantastic new highlights in her hair. I don't need any convincing from any stylist - I've been on board since week one ever since Martha laid down her first subtle yet harsh passive aggressive bit of hatred. And the intrigue of still not knowing who's actually on Team Primarius is enough to keep me coming back for more.
And speaking of keeping coming back week after week, Team Primarius was surprised to see Jim and Dawn survive the Conference Room yet again. They all seemed shocked that Martha sent Shawn-Suze-Orman packing, noting she was one of the more formidable players. Then some unknown blond woman from Primarius spoke out saying that she wasn't surprised at all - Shawn was too polished and phony and that, "There are no cheesy salesmen here." Quick cut to cheesy Jim looking, well, cheesy. Bravo, editors, bravo.
Of course, with Jim surviving yet another chopping block, it meant another round of "Jim's Hyperbole Corner." With typical bluster, Jim noted, "I'm sick and tired of the smug looks on Primarius' faces. They are going to lose and I am going to drink in their tears like the nectar of the gods." At least he didn't ruminate on murdering anyone this week - must be his new father of a newborn temperament. Ah, Jim... Imagine how annoying it must be to work with this guy? I'm pretty low-key (very low-key, actually) so I just can't fathom what it's like in his office. He's like the Office Space "Is someone having a case of the Mondays" lady times, like, a gazillion.
Sourpuss Julia called the loft to gather the teams in the Conference Room at 9AM. Once in the room, Alexis gave a sleepy hello, Charles twirled his cigar, and everyone awaited the grand entrance of Martha. *Click* hey, there she is, up on the TV screen hovering in the air above her usual seat at the table! It was just like Star Trek: The Next Generation! Martha was phoning in another appearance, though not from another planet. Although, I'm guessing Martha's Turkey Hill Estate is a whole different world from the one we live in. Martha introduced the task and explained, "I couldn't be there with you today because I'm working on a project." She continued, "You see, I'm trying to develop a way to remove this damn ankle bracelet without alerting the authorities, and it's proving to be quite problematic."
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