Guess What's Coming To Dinner - 
by sg-dub
Pssst, hey! Martha Stewart Apprentice fans! The show is still on and I'm still recapping it. I just think it's funny that a week has gone by and there's barely been a peep about the missing recap. Yeah, I take that somewhat personally, but I'll survive. Truth be told, I watched this show when it was on (a week ago now) and I can't even remember if it was a good episode or not. I do remember it was hyped as another "Jim gone wild" show, but in reality he was more normal than ever. In fact, as each week goes by, he seems to get more and more normal - if not conniving. Perhaps he really has this whole thing figured out? Perhaps he's been right all along? Nah, perhaps everyone else on the show is just dumb.
There were only six candidates left at the beginning of the show - Marcela, Leslie, and Ryan on Team Matchstick and Jim, Bethenny, and Dawna on Team Primarius. aMANda was just given the hook in the last conference room when we joined Jim discussing things over with Dawna.
Jim is still stuck on the whole reality show strategy thing of The Apprentice rather than the job interview process we're supposed to pretend it is. (Y'know, that kind of job interview that takes several months, goes to several locations, depends on the efficacy of other people, and is filmed 24-7... Yeah, that kind of job interview.) To Jim's credit (and remember I do hate the man), he's cut through that fluff and is simply trying to "Win the game." But Dawna wasn't having it.
Awww, ain't she sweet? The last of the true idealists on reality TV. She merely wanted to keep plugging along, and win out against the "best competition possible." Yes, Virginia, there really is a Reality Claus!
Jim went on to explain his tactics - culled straight from Sun Tzu's "The Art of War." "Everyone observes the victory, but no one observes the strategy." That may have been true in the 5th century BC, but in 21st century reality television, I don't think that's the case. And besides, Jim, your platitudes notwithstanding, you're still on this show to act like a jackass, not to wow us with your Bazooka Joe witticisms. So start acting like an idiot already! The show is almost 3 minutes old!
After Dawna enjoyed the biggest bowl of magical cereal/salad I've ever witnessed (see pics above), a triumphant little Marcela bounded through the door fresh from the conference room. In case we forgot about Marcela's humble Mexican background, the show's editors grabbed some Tijuana Brass for the background music of her little scene. Ole! Upon her appearance, someone said, "Jim is a mastermind of strategy." Oh, wait. That was Jim speaking - so just in case I was beginning to respect him, he made sure I hated him all over again. Sg-dub thanks Jim!
Martha called the loft and instructed everyone to meet with her at her Turkey Hill estate to learn about the next challenge. They edited out the scenes where I'm sure someone complained about Martha's house arrest and how ridiculous it is that they had to drive up to the burbs from Manhattan to film 5 minutes with some GM marketing executives. Alas, someone said that her house was "Paradise," and they all seemed overly excited at the sound of every word from Martha's mouth.
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