The funniest part was the lame ass interview on Martha this morning, with Ms.M closing with "so...you have my email address, if you ever have any questions, you know how to contact me"

Bwhahaha.. her apprentice my ass. She just won a job working on a magazine that is essentially a doppleganger of the magazine her and her hubby already publish (can you say conflict of interest?) at an office no where near Martha.

Wonder if hubby & business will relocate too.

Just had to say, before reading the recap...EXCELLENT Red Dawn shoutout. lol

Now all you need is one from Roadhouse, and you'll be set. ;)

That exchange between Alexis and her Mom in the car was priceless....LOL

go to this website http://www.nypost.com/gossip/pagesix.htm

APPRENTICE SHOCKER

The Pilgrim lady had me laughing for hours.

Thanks for the link, someone. If the story were really true -- and I'm not so sure that it is -- then it would be the most interesting part of the entire season. Seriously, how could you name Bethenny the winner considering that she sucked the entire season, was hated on by everyone, and did nothing on the last task? Granted, Dawna was not a star either, but she came off as far more competent than Miss Butterface. And besides, if Martha hired Bethenny, it would be like a form of quasi-nepotism, and we know that Martha would never give family members jobs at MSLO, right? And who tells a six-year-old who the winner will be ahead of time? Like this girl actually watches the show and has a vested interest in the results. I think the former contestant source made up the story to get back at Martha for publicly ragging on all of the candidates for being sucky.

BTW, my favorite part of the article is at the end: "Meanwhile, sources say Martha and Alexis were bickering later, with Alexis snubbing the after-party at Martha's nearby office."

Looks like a joint session at the psychiatrist's office is in order. And after the two got along so well in the car.

I didn't watch the finale, but checked in on it once during a commercial while they were introducing the fired contestants. I kept thinking how awkward it must have been for them considering how Martha ripped them publicly not 3 weeks ago.

Well kudos to Bethenny for prioritizing fundraising, especially given the R/R sh*tsorm. I dunno, I kinda liked her.

I also thought her laissez-faire attitude towards the final challenge somewhat revealing. Sometimes I wonder about what is actually involved in these things, since it seems they have 9/10 of the work and planning already done for them - spaces booked, sponsors, entertainment, guest lists, etc etc. The stuff that is left for them often seems to be either grunt work (hanging banners etc) or completely arbitrary (choosing outfits for a fashion show? wtf?). I'm not exactly sure what Dawna did on the final task, but I will say she should have had folders already made that she could insert the program into at the last minute.

At one point the previous episode, Bethenny said something to the effect of "I don't have to worry about it, it'll take care of itself." And I suspect she's mostly right.

Oh, the scandal of it all! That was an interesting NY Post article. Thanks for the link.

Neither Apprentice finale showed much of the other candidates. I wish there had been more interaction. I guess I will have to get over it ...

Excellent job, sg-dub. The show was painful...I was reading the latest Harry Potter book at the same time to keep myself amused.Any possibility that Dawna's an alcoholic, or something? Martha made such a big deal out of "no champagne for you, you're going to be driving A BRAND NEW LUCERNE!!" Jesus, even if she just got to hold a glass to make it look like she was toasting. How about the job offering: SOMEWHERE near Boston... now that is really enticing. We need more scandal out of this...like maybe the loudmouth six year old being Charles and Bethany's love chld.

I must admit, I am a huge Martha fan and a fan of just about everything Mark Burnett does -- so I was SO excited for this show. But in the end, it was pretty f'ing crappy. I'll stick to watching Martha bake cupcakes shaped like animals and put glitter on pumpkins, and leave the "reality" to pros like Julie Chen.

But sg -- your recaps were hillarious. Thanks for writing them. I will miss them much more than the actual show (especially the Amanda = a man lines... they never get old).

Maybe Martha's smaller than I think she is, but didn't Alexis seem to be about four feet taller than Martha when they were walking into Crobar? She really seemed to have grown to Janet Reno/Yeti size.

I missed the show.... had a class.....SO thank you for the recap! Sounds like I didn't miss much. Very funny recap all the same.

I missed the show.... had a class.....SO thank you for the recap! Sounds like I didn't miss much. Very funny recap all the same.

OMG sg-dub! I'm gonna miss this show ONLY because I won't get to read your recaps. I am dying laughing over here.

That finahhhhleee (seriously, can't someone tell her she sounds ridiculous?) was so awkward and boring. It was thrown together in a manner that one might throw a garage sale together. I've never seen something so poorly produced - well, except for maybe THE SHOW ITSELF.

The Alexis/Martha exchange in the car was beyond priceless and I cannot believe Martha allowed that to be left in the show because it confirms that she is probably the WORST MOTHER EVER. I could just imagine this sort of thing happening the entire time Alexis was growing up. Can't you just see her stamping her feet and imploding every time her mother ignored her?

The Apprentice: Martha Martha was a disaster. I'm sure Alexis is going to rip her mother a new one on her radio show today.

P.S.
Did you guys see this?
From the NY Post today. They are saying that Bethenny really won and they switched the winner at the last minute because Jennifer Koppelman's kid ruined the surprise. Also, more about Martha and Alexis being at each other's throats.

http://www.nypost.com/gossip/gossip.htm

For those who missed it, the entire debacle will be replayed on CNBC on December 25th. YES! Christmas Night! What could be nicer than rounding up all the kids and watching these idiots all over again.

I am disappointed in Jim...when Martha started all the crap about him "not being real" I was hoping that he would say "well, you're not really NICE either, you phony bitch." Oh well, it was a thought.

Alexis has her own raido show? Wouldn't her complete lack of personality and monotone voice be a safey hazard, on account that her tens of listeners may fall asleep behind the wheel?

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME MOM? Priceless.

dr evil cape! brilliant!

man this finale sucked royal ass, and i watch her daytime show which is also live and doesnt look nearly as college-productiony as this finale did. jesus.

also, martha cuts EVERYONE off on her show--at some point or another...thats what makes watching it so awesome. social awkwardness!

while i am a steadfast martha fan, this show went down the crapper FAST, and i'm so appreciative to have had your hilarious comments to look forward to each week!

the scene w/alexis lambasting mom for lack of attention was priceless.

Apparently, Alexis has quite the personality on the radio show. She rags on Martha and talks about where she and her girlfriend - i mean boyfriend - nope, girlfriend - BOYFRIEND have sex and blah blah blah. I think she just says things to try and shock Martha and it doesn't work because MARTHA DOESN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS. EVER.

I think maybe they did change the winer at the last minute. Alexis obviously hated Dawna so the fact that the producers switched the winners right before the finale, while Martha probably didn't cared and let them do it, infuriated Alexis and that's why they bickered afterwards and snubbed the post-show party.

Her then proclaiming that she'll REALLY say what's on her mind on her radio show probably means that she'll rip a new one on Dawna's poor self.

The Alexis "Are you listening to me?" Just about sums up her involvement on the show. Ie NOTHING. Why does martha diss on her? Alexis is a babe. She looked damn good in that black slutty dress and not-so-lesbian haircut.

But the finale was the most boring thing ever. Why can't we see jim's wife?

You know, Zharak, I might actually believe your theory. At the end of the show, Alexis said something to Bethenny and Bethenny clearly said, 'That's okay'.

The "are you listening to me" bit was well funny, but y'all are making too much of it. I was watching it with my mother and we had a good chuckle over it, because that happens with us all the time. Seemed like a nice little "look Martha is just like the rest of us" snippet, which is why they probably kept it in.

Parents and children tune each other out all the time! Couples do it. Friends do it. And if anyone says they've never had an irate "are you listening to me" directed at them, they're lying.

YES, chronic, but Martha NEVER listens to anyone! AND, she is being FILMED! I think it is bizarre to totally ignore your kid on national TV, ESPECIALLY when she barely says a word half the time.

So me and 25 other suckers, I mean people watched this show, eh?
Sad that the most exciting part of this fi-naaa-lee was "Are you listening to me mom?"
Martha looked really angry-maybe too much botox?
I realize if I had fallen asleep during this show, I would not have missed anything.

I think there might be something to that New York Post story. When the showed Bethenney and Dawna coming through the studio door it struck me as odd. Dawna was beaming and smiling into the camera like a stoned scientologist while Bethenney already looked dejected and kinda pissed. Did they already know?

I would have to agree with your comments RK.. This finale was so awkward and boring. Mark Burnett needs to be slapped.

Sg-dub, I am surprised that you did not mention the awkwardness of the two finalists setting off to the side on metal bar stools during the live broadcast.

And Martha , Charles and Alexis having to look over in that direction, not really making any eye contact with them as they spoke.

I guess they were not worthy enough to set at the same table.

Of course, considering Marthas lack of interest in this entire process, it was to be expected.

Also, Alexis trying to walk in those heels. Very sad, and painful to watch.

The recap was hilarious. The show. horrible!

I have always been a fan of Martha Stewart.
After this, I have no respect for her, and her "I am so above this and these people, just go away," attitude.

Charlie Browns teacher has more affect than Martha and her staff. Wah Wah WAHH Wah.

GO carve some radish roses Martha, and stay off of my television in the future.

Alexis said on her radio show that of all the contestants, she would've wanted to sleep with Marcela. Martha's probably thinking, 'why did i give her a spot on my channel??"

Did anyone notice the tight shots of the car at the end?

They must have had a reason not to show the whole car.

A Buick Lucerne? Sounds like the cherry on top of this season's cake of lame rewards.

What about Jim begging for a pan shot of his 'beautiful wife'? He seem to think she was more then camera worthy and Martha did everything but announce her engagement to this mysterious chick.