A-Fresh A-Pepi? - 
by B-Side
Wow. Talk about a disturbing cliffhanger. We've seen our fair share of final challenge cliffhangers on The Apprentice -- bailing celebrities, inclement weather, more bailing celebrities -- but last night's twist was completely unexpected. In fact, I'd say it was totally random. And gross. And scary. I almost felt like I was watching the first five minutes of House. It was such a strange turn of events that I nearly forgot about Lee's head-scratching personnel picks for his final team. Basically, everything was kind of weird and nutty on this penultimate episode. Even the placement of the show itself -- Memorial Day, four days after the normal television season had ended -- seemed oddly distracting. I mean, all the other reality shows have long since wrapped up, and here we are, still plugging away with The Apprentice. The show's like a fifth year senior. Or that really lame guy who stays at the party entirely too long. That's not to say that I want this wonderful season to end. It's just that after American Idol wraps up, all other finales feel a bit... anticlimactic. Especially when the remaining contestants (cough, Lee, cough, Sean) are on the (very) lame side.
We started last night's episode with a neat little recap of Roxanne and Allie's demise. For those of you who may have forgotten, both women went into the Boardroom last week as friends and then quickly devolved into two bickering harpies, trying to claw out each other's eyes and gain favor with The Donald. Unfortunately, Trump was dismayed by the flagrant disloyalty these best buds showed each other, and so he simply swung the axe extra wide and sent both of them packing (swinging axes? Packed bags? Sorry, metaphors must be mixed for such a momentous occasion).
Anyway, after the recap was over, we caught up with Sean and Lee waiting in the suite for one of the girls to return (heh, they're not going to return, suckahs!). I couldn't help wondering whether or not Trump would be ascending to the living quarters to deliver the good news (as he had done last season post-Felish/Alla firing). It didn't look like such a visit would be in store. That's probably because Trump had all the respect for Randal and Rebecca, two of the best finalists ever, as opposed to Lee and Sean, two of the very worst.
Tired of strumming his fingers on the table, Sean finally made a bold proclamation. "You know what?" he said to Lee, "I'm just going to eat because I'm hungry, and I really don't care to wait for them. I really don't care!" He then added, "Plus, I really want to start my nightly Notting Hill screening early this evening." Okay, he didn't say that, but he did get all fussy as he fixed himself some dinner. We then saw Lee already chomping down on some food. That's right, Lee. Oops! Somebody forgot to wait!
The opening credits rolled, and then when returned to the suite where the guys were still eating dinner. Suddenly, the phone rang. What? The phone was ringing? It never rings at night! The guys stared at it as if it were some awful omen of things to come. Maybe it was the killer from Scream! HE'S IN THE NEXT ROOM! (Oh, how I would have loved for some Jiffy-Pop to explode at that moment!)
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