I'm still not exactly sure what happened with this week's episode of The Apprentice, but I do know that I only fully understood about 64% of it. Too many foreigners dancing around and not enough Snoop Dogg. On the other hand, it was a commercial/video challenge, which I always relish because of the ample opportunity for total and explosive failure. Let's not forget the Dove Body Wash Massacre of '05. Oh, the carnage.
So let's jump in, shall we? Over in Tent City, Arrow is awaiting the return of their less fortunate teammates. Nicole has some helpful advice: "Tomorrow we need to think about winning." If only she had said that last week, they wouldn't be in this position right now! The men return and there is much mirth and merriment at the demise of Surya. James insists that he was fighting for his LIFE, which makes me wonder what would happen if James actually had to fight for his life, instead of just whining his way onto another week of a reality show. Like if James were attacked by a legion of angry bears, he'd probably just start throwing folding chairs at them and screaming random business terms like "Synergy! Brand management! Global corporate worldview of crossdimensional strategic optimization!" And then the bears would eat him.
It appears that the bears have attained night vision technology! Run, James! Run!!
I'm happy to report that this week's challenge begins with a crack-of-dawn phone call from Andie, which there have not been very many of this season. I love watching these plucky MBAs stagger about in their Tweety Bird pajamas and fumble the phone around like it's an unruly ferret. Andie tells the teams to meet Mr. Trump at the set of Passions. Because nothing says future real estate tycoon quite like witches and midgets.
Nicole is attempting to take a shower in Tent City, but it's very windy, so the curtains are blowing everywhere. This causes her to scream in total TERROR. Maybe there are bears in there too. Cut to Team Kinetic, enjoying such luxuries as hair dryers and orange juice against a soundtrack of Fancy Music. They're so LUXURIOUS! Because it's the haves. And the have nots. Just in case you forgot. Nicole informs us that she is a huge Passions fan. Wait, I mean Nicole informs us that she is a HUUUUUUGE Passions fan. Hmm, maybe she should be a Donald underling after all.
Shut up.
They all meet up at the Passions studio, where Trump tells them that they're standing in the Passions studio. I see. Nicole makes a fool out of herself, drooling over the show, and the Donald is mildly amused. He gives his minions a little history lesson in the form of a story about how soap operas came to be in the 1930s, as the result of dramas being sponsored by soap companies. Thanks Professor Trump! And now the teams are going to have to make their own 45 second mini soap operas as part of a webisode marketing campaign for a new product, the Soft Scrub Deep Clean Foaming Cleanser.
Trump introduces everyone to two marketing execs from Soft Scrub, and they're a marked improvement upon the 14-year-old Lexus child exec from last week. Though they still have no personality, as expected. He informs the kids that there will be an awesome reward, which we already KNOW about, because the commercials have been touting it all week. I prefer the beautiful surprise that is an impromptu rapping session with Snoop Dogg, but that's just me. Trump reminds everyone that the losing team will be in the boardroom, where someone will be fired, "like a dog". He goes on to say, "I fire all my dogs. Once they get past the puppy stage they no longer please me. I have them killed and made into leg warmers. This pleases me greatly."
Team Kinetic begins the brainstorming and immediately settles upon some form of slutbaggery. Their theme is "dirty little secrets", wherein the plotline would involve a housewife catching her cheating husband's mistress. For some reason, Kristine is having a hell of a time managing Muna. I don't know why, because to me it just seems like Muna wants to know the details, but Kristine promises to "slam her under the table" if she keeps it up. I think Kristine just wants to send someone to the emergency room and doesn't care how she does it. When the subject of acting comes up, Kristine volunteers, because "I would love to run around and be the slut." A fine goal in life, indeed. Employers are going to be lining up for this plucky young harlot.
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Comments (14)
If they want God in sit in the chair to Trump's right, they'll have to add one more chair. Everyone knows that Jesus likes to sit on God's right.
1 of 14 | Posted by joyfulchicken![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 21, 2007 10:21 AM
Screampillar, f-ing hilarious recap. This episode was at least reminisicent of the show's past glory, such as the painful/awesome Dove Bodywash debacle.
Muna really annoyed me. Can't say I'll miss her. She reminded me of the annoying girl who sat in the front row of class and always had her hand up.
2 of 14 | Posted by JasonR![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 21, 2007 12:03 PM
screampillar,
i've been anxiously awaiting the recap and haven't had time to go through it yet, but had to comment (finally type key is back in order)
FINALLY trump decided to shake things up and fire someone other than the project manager. it was starting to get boring and predictable!
ironically, this was one of the few times when i thought the project manager should have been booted rather than muna
agreed, jasonR, muna IS that front row over eager girl! but it was totally the project manager's fault to have put her in front of the camera and then vanished to buy important props such as lipstick (tell me with that crew of girls that no one had any extra in their purses)
trump would have have had a bible thumper as his newest apprentice, i just thought she'd get kicked off next time around rather than this episode
3 of 14 | Posted by lovedoctor![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 21, 2007 1:09 PM
just finished reading the recap. nice job, screampillar! you do not disappoint.
loved the repetitive "shut up" subtitled for the photos of nicole!
4 of 14 | Posted by lovedoctor![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 21, 2007 2:38 PM
Finally, the return of the early morning phone call! This has been bugging me all season. I am going to miss Muna. Also love the Cool Runnings reference.
5 of 14 | Posted by Jordan![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 21, 2007 7:09 PM
lovedoctor, I agree that while Muna is annoying and had no chance of winning she probably wasn't the most deserving of being fired. Why it took two members of a 4 member team to go buy lipstick and props is beyond me. Meanwhile Angela is probably going to end up being the Apprentice because she is so bland and such a blank slate no one is even going to notice she's still around until lo and behold she's the last one left!
6 of 14 | Posted by JasonR![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 22, 2007 7:28 AM
Meanwhile, how far has this show fallen? I remember not so long ago, back in its Zenthura-tastic heyday, when a recap of this show would generate dozens of comments. I'm always the last one off the sinking ship.
7 of 14 | Posted by JasonR![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 22, 2007 7:31 AM
Separated at birth? Perfect!!!!
8 of 14 | Posted by Carey | Posted on March 22, 2007 9:09 AM
This was the best episode of the Apprentice this season, probably because it reminded me so much of the old challenges in prior seasons.
HILARIOUS recap, Screampillar. I love how you capitalize on every possible Frank-joke there could be.
Did anyone else want to cringe every time Nicole "acted" out her line? "I HAVE INTERESTING NEWS I GOT THE JOB IN NEW YORK!!" ugggh.... it was so painful to listen to her scream that out, thinking she was "acting."
9 of 14 | Posted by KermitGirl22![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 22, 2007 10:15 AM
Very funny, thank you for a gtreat recap. Seperated at birth was awesome. Fabulous screen caps this episode, and that acting was particulary horrible. Loved it! Not fair to put it all and God and then make him the loser. Bad Muna.
10 of 14 | Posted by sweetleaf![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 22, 2007 7:46 PM
great recap! i can barely understand muna, good riddance. great ending screencap.
11 of 14 | Posted by wincha![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 22, 2007 10:30 PM
JasonR: i think you mean "zathura" - just to be a stickler for details! (of course perhaps you were making reference to when the team leader on that episode kept referring to it by the wrong name) :)
KermitGirl22: i'd call nicole's overacting painful as well. but mostly i think it is due to her heavy accent. an accent abrasive as hers will certainly prevent her from reaching apprenticeship (among other reasons!)
yes, angela may well end up as apprentice since she continues to go "under the radar" as trump reluctantly said. for some reason he seems to be to be kissing her butt a lot. she doesn't DO a damn thing on any project but he seems very wowed by her olympic status and athlethic prowess
i still maintain that heidi may be the apprentice (although it pains me to say it). can't stand her perpetual smirk and holier than thou attitude
12 of 14 | Posted by lovedoctor![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 23, 2007 6:59 AM
Lovedoctor, methinks JasonR was making a joke. Every time that movie shows up on HBO or the like my hubby has to say "Zan-THU-rah" just to make me laugh. Ah, good times, good times =)
Oh, and Frank must die. Now.
Great recap Screamy.
13 of 14 | Posted by Zbird | Posted on March 23, 2007 6:50 PM
Very funny recap. ditto wincha (#11)
Loved the comments about people's odd fashion sense. Why *would* Ivanka wear a top the same hue as her pale skin??
14 of 14 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on March 24, 2007 11:14 AM