It's been a rough week for The Apprentice. Well, not so much for The Apprentice, but for recently fired applicant (can applicants be fired?) Jen C., who's found her world collapsing in the wake of her arguably anti-Semitic comments from last Wednesday. Yeah, this show isn't always great for your career. Just ask Kwame Jackson. Oh wait. Anyway, when we returned to the universe of The Apprentice last night, the apartment was reeling from the firing of Jen C.. No one seemed to mind her absence, and Stacy was kind enough to mark her departure with a little "The witch is dead" proclamation. Of course, in the wake of another female departure, the women all gathered around the kitchen to discuss ways to be more productive and communicative. This apparently meant finger pointing and general bitchiness - a strategy that has worked oh so well the past few weeks. "If you have to order bread, it shouldn't take forty five minutes," declared Sandy in what was supposed to be an attack on Stacy. SLAM! Nice panary dis! I've been waiting all season for someone to work in a pumpernickel attack, and I think this was about as close as I'm going to get. Oh yes. It was going to be a good show...
While the verbal skirmish raged politely on, Pamela stopped in to observe. She had a look of shock on her face, and I couldn't help wondering if something awful was going on off-camera. You know, like Maria bludgeoning a puppy. I guess she was just surprised at the continued ineptitude of the women in these tasks, but then again, in her eyes, it isn't about the battle of the sexes, or as she so delicately put it, "uteruses versus penises." She then added "Which is too bad because I was turned down for The Great Uterus-Penis Challenge 2004."
Anyway, the next day the troops all shuffled off to UPS - although not before we saw Chris's nipple ring. I wonder, does Carolyn have one of those? Or better yet, George? Okay, erase that image if you can. At the UPS distribution center, the applicants all stood around, awaiting their master. Maria dazzled all with a monster flower broche that seemed like a forced attempt at gracefulness. "I'm as soft as a flower. Did you hear me? SOFT AS A FLOWER!" Hiding in the shadow of the gargantuan rose was Sandy whose face seems to be ground zero for some sort of makeup explosion. Seriously, I'm no makeup artist, but when your base shows up on TV, that's a bad sign. Her face was about two shades darker than her neck. Why does this matter? It doesn't. So let's move on. After a few moments of staring at our group, the mighty trio of The Donald, The Carolyn, and The George all arrived. Mark Burnett swapped out the regal fanfare for a more throbbing rock star guitar riff. I guess it matched the whole decor with all those trucks around. Maybe if the next mission is at Lincoln Center, Trump can get a glockenspiel intro. That would be awesome.
Happy | 
Sad |
The first order of business was that Trump took Pamela off of the sissy-named Mosaic team and placed her on the sissy-filled Apex team. Then it was time for the challenge. With all the UPS trucks around, I couldn't wait to hear what it was. Something to do with freight or the complexities of international shipping? Maybe the high demands of running a fleet of trucks on a rigid schedule? Actually, the task was much simpler. Teams had to sell an item on QVC and whoever had the highest revenue wins. Oh, and by the way, QVC uses UPS and they're like really really good, so let's just give them this little product placement here totally blatantly.
The teams piled into buses that drove them to QVC, but apparently there was some stop at the Frito-Lay factory because everyone seemed to have a bag of Lays or Doritos in their laps. In Team Apex's bus, Pamela laid the smackdown on the women with her aggressive leadership. Maria was not happy. The team doesn't need a lecture, she said during her interview. Yeah, the team has been so mature lately, like that time when they ganged up on Stacie as a scapegoat. I personally think Maria's was just a little cranky because Pamela had no respect for her designer suit, which clearly must have been sat on prior to this mission.
« You Da Man | Main | The Bare Ass-entials »
Comments (11)
Hey B-Side -I'm assuming you're a guy. That would explain why there wasn't much commented on the great John McEnroe being TOTALLY ignored by the guys while they drooled over Anna Kournikova.
Being a female, I found myself yelling at the tv for Raj to just shut up. It is so annoying how guys think just because you're attractive, they have to try to hit on you (regardless of if you are already involved with someone). Show some class Raj!!!
1 of 11 | Posted by Crystal | Posted on October 8, 2004 6:50 AM
What happened to Jen C. this week? Is there news about her somewhere?
2 of 11 | Posted by Kirby | Posted on October 8, 2004 9:27 AM
Maria scares me. Really scares me.
3 of 11 | Posted by Nichole | Posted on October 8, 2004 10:54 AM
You know B-Side, you make me want to watch this show. I think I'll catch the repeat on basic cable (if I can remember what channel it's on). I wasn't watching this time around cause I thought the obnoxious product plugging was over the top (which it totally is). But maybe I'll catch it just to watch the people implode, so fun :o)
4 of 11 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on October 8, 2004 10:55 AM
Ah, Raj. From the moment we first beheld your dandy cane and pastel-heavy wardrobe, we knew your Sam Solovey moment was coming. Sure enough, in making a lame-ass come-on to a woman who's been getting fought over by Russian hockey players and Latin Pop superstars since she was about thirteen and a half, you managed to come up with a proposal even more ludicrous than $100 for a dixie cup of Country-Time.
Ah, Pamela. From the moment you let that little goose to the ego from the Donald turn you a condescending (if effective) ultra-bitch, we knew you were going to be the next victim of Trump logic. And while we loved the workout footage (nice lats, but your jumpshot sucks), you should have saved all of that excess testosterone for the board room.
What will Burnett do to save this circus of predictability and feminine humiliation? Now that Pamela is gone, blonde Jennifer is the only legitimate contender remaining who doesn't piss standing up. The only thing more frustrating than the incompetence of the Apex team is the fact that Trump has now for the third time fired the only person in the boardroom who isn't totally worthless or unbelievably annoying. Even Omarosa could outperform most of these silly girls.
5 of 11 | Posted by jack | Posted on October 8, 2004 11:42 AM
As we watched last night, I felt my heart sink when I realized Pamela was a goner.
And I also realized that, while the women suck, at least this show is pretty well-cast.
As for the 8 o'clock atrocity on Thursday nights (and no, I ain't dissing JOEY), who cast this season of SURVIVOR? Seriously.
half the time a contestant is doing an interview, i would turn to jerry and say, "and who is that?" even though i've watched every episode this season.
APPRENTICE -- good casting (for the most part)
SURVIVOR -- bad casting (almost 100% except Twila and Scout)
thus ends my Friday morning post-reality-TV-coma rant
6 of 11 | Posted by drew | Posted on October 8, 2004 12:35 PM
That's an interesting comment about Trump's firing. The women are losing legitimately, and those fired I guess are "the buck stops here person", but isn't it ultimately an odd rationale to fire the project leader for not being able to manage a bunch of complaining prima donnas? They're so far into it now that the project leader is being asked to manage the project *and* create culture change or something.
Maybe if they had the power to "fire" and make some team members sit on the sidelines, then it might be justifiable to really hold them accountable for not being able to overcome the bitchy habit that seems to have overwhelmed Apex.
Also, didn't Pamela wind up pricing b/c the person originally assigned the task couldn't even begin to figure out how to do it?
7 of 11 | Posted by elisabeth | Posted on October 8, 2004 12:38 PM
B-side, this was one of your best yet.
I tried to make this point on ew.com but it got removed, don't ask me why. Don't you think a show that it supposed to teach people about business should include the fact that when through your job, you get to meet celebs, you should not make a fool of yourself by asking them out? Then running around in underwear?
8 of 11 | Posted by Leah3t | Posted on October 8, 2004 1:34 PM
Pamela is mean. Even Maria say so!!! I am glad she is gone!!
9 of 11 | Posted by Ananda Fan | Posted on October 8, 2004 2:48 PM
Trump set Pamela up. He charged her with an impossible job, then failed to consider just how much of it she managed to accomplish. How the hell is she supposed to assess skill sets and get crackin' on the task in a timely fashion? They weren't given an orientation weekend.
That was total bullshit. What position is he trying to fill? Pamela is better off not working for these maniacs. How could he not fire either Stacy or Maria, both of who have been in the BR at least twice before? He stopped everything to see what the hell got Stacie J. hauled in there twice.
10 of 11 | Posted by Lady J | Posted on October 8, 2004 9:40 PM
Nice review. When I watched the Thursday episode, I was a little dissapointed that Pamela was fired. I didn't feel it was her fault. After watching the extended version, it was a little clearer. ALTHOUGH, she priced those sponges way too high, she brought those girls together and they functioned better than they have since Bradford left.
Maria is an idiot and should have been fired for screwing up the budget on the Crest task. She totally blew that one. She looked like she was on speed when they did the test of her selling the sponge.
I still like Stacy. She does her work and does it well.
Sandy (who is hideously ugly) should have been fired twice. Once for screwing up the decor in the restaurant and this time for pissing off QVC about the set. She's useless.
I felt sorry for John McEnroe when all the guys did was fawn over Anna. That was very rude.
11 of 11 | Posted by Vince | Posted on October 11, 2004 1:47 PM