That was the most awesome single recap I've ever read! Last nights show made me uncofortable just watching it. I thought Jen was going go Magic 8-ball on everyone but instead she resorted to a different psychosis and regeressed to childhood antics. I am so glad you did this recap justice especially including the "good,good" audio. You really had me cracking up. THANKS!

yes, i must also commend you, b-side. this is one of your finer moments. granted, jennifer c. was easy pickings last night, but you doubled the pleasure, my friend. i might even have to break down and admit my reality tv addiction to my friends so i can share this re-cap with them.

full disclosure: one of my good buds grew up with stacy and attests that she is indeed annoying and hate-worthy on an epic scale.

i was also a student at UVA around the same time as Ivana, and though i did not know her, i must express my utter dismay at her incompetence and general bitchiness. i always hated those com-school assholes, but mostly because i knew they would end up making a lot more money than me. now i hate them for making more money than me AND being idiotic public disgraces to my alma mater.

but while i'm on the subject: when are the women going to stop utterly sucking? some of these chicks have pretty undisputably impressive resumes, even if you account for burnett's embellishments. elizabeth, for instance, has really pulled the pants down on the 'consulting' industry, already tarnished by the andersen firm (the guys who cooked the books for enron), which was the hot ticket for com-school grads in my class. this woman RUNS HER OWN CONSULTING FIRM, which means that she MAKES HER LIVING advising struggling companies on things like LEADERSHIP and ORGANIZATION, and yet she can't keep from turning into a teary basket case over a bunch of flyers. i hate to agree with carolyn, who, despite the makeover and the attitude, was basically a glorified apartment complex manager before trump promoted her to 'the apprentice,' but these girls are not making much of a case for women trying to bust through the glass ceiling.

keep up the good work, b-side--this season of the apprentice is beyond the absurd, and you are a fit guide through the infernal quest to learn the ABC's of grotesque self-importance and imperiousness.

Ever notice that the cab the evictee gets in is never the cab that they are interviewed in. Last night she got in cab 33 h and rode in 22 h. Happens every show.

Speaking of scripted... In the meeting with Giuliani about "leadership" and one of the guys, in a completely unscripted moment, I'm sure, says "I'd like to ask you a question about leadership," which was followed by... no question, but an unrehearsed speech by the former mayor about the exact subject he was supposed to be talking about. Reality television.

An excerpt from b-side's 'Apprentice' preview article on Tvgasm:

"Oy. Another lawyah from New Yawk. Stacy R (also not related to Stacy Q) looks like she was forced on the show by her mother who undoubtedly wants her to find a nice Jewish boy to make babies with."

Hmmm, b-side . . . I hate to revive Omarosa's favorite racial slur, but aren't your remarks about Jennifer C.'s alleged anti-semitism sort of like the pot calling the kettle black?

Except I'm Jewish!

Actually, you make a good point. There's always a fine line. I think my comments were more me having fun with a stereotype than me being anti-Semitic. It's like when you see a reality show and you say "Oh, it's the angry black man" or "It's the gay guy". Similarly, I think Jennifer C. was actually trying to go for the same effect, but when she said "old, Jewish, bad", she emphasized Jewish negatively just enough that it sounded questionable - like she was holding it against these women that they were Jewish. That's where it becomes questionable. Needless to say, I don't want to get all PC. I personally thought it was Jennifer being stupid more than anti-Semitic, but what fun is that to write about?

So B-Side you must be one of them self depraving Jews...how original.

word. PC has no place in the rampant anonymous mockery of reality TV. any form of satire necessarily pokes fun at cultural quirks and stereotypes. philip roth, my pick for greatest living american writer (yeah, somewhere between masturbating and watching reality TV, i read a book occasionally), has been accused of anti-semitism his entire career, and he's jewish too. and hey: stacy r. fits about every possible stereotype of the jewish american princess except for the fact that she turned thirty without marrying a doctah or another lawyah, quitting her job, and moving out to long island to raise the kids. going on reality tv makes you fair game for merciless and unfair criticism. snark on, b-side!

WOW! What a great recap. I flipped the show on last night but it was just the women fighting and I turned the channel when it seemed that was all that was going to happen. Thanks for keeping me up to date. Now tonight, SURVIVOR!

My favorite lines:

Yes, it was Elizabeth's fault that we made a scapegoat. Everyone blame Elizabeth for the scapegoat!

"You have a table set for us? Well, why don't we turn to an arbitrary direction and walk forward until we hit a wall!"

The downfall of this team are the stupid-being-ers

B-Side.....You Rock :o)

b-side is jewish? well that explains it! i knew a half-jew in college that was funny. but ur way funnier.

come to think of it, aneesa from rw chicago was hilarious and she had the whole jewish AND black thing going for her! that combo is gold!

and i kid you not--it is a wholly unpleasant experience eating crusted goatchesse.

can we call maria the em-bot? all i can say about this episode is that because of the rampant infighting amongst the women, all of whom display the emotional maturity of 3rd graders is that next week pamela is being thrown in with them. how sad that one of my favorites, ms cruella deville, is being thrown to the dogs she'd rather skin [alive one would hope] than lead through a mission!

Awesome recap.

The fake Zagat's review of Zagat was especially killer.

I have one for here in Chicago and they actually rate the top hotdog joints. I'd go into detail but suffice it to say that all Chicago-style hotdogs are Vienna Beef with steamed buns. After reading some of the wildly divergent reviews for essentially identical hotdogs, you start feeling mildly insane.

Little known Chicago fact: you can not get a superior Hebrew National hotdog at any restaurant. I think the Vienna boys might actually enforce their monopoly with under-reported mob violence.

What's this have to do with The Apprentice? Ya got me. I blame my lack of focus on Stacie J. or Elizabeth.

What a fantastic recap that was! A fun show last night encapsulated with humor and relevant details.

Almost as much fun to read as it was to watch.

Bravo!!

WHEN WILL THEY STOP WITH THE "TRUMP TIP" SPOILERS?!?!? Every damn week you know who will win by whatever team goes against the tip. This is very amateurish television.

I love the Jews! Bring on the knishes, latkes and blintzes!

Hilarious recap! The still of Ivana pointing at Maria with Pamela lurking in the background is priceless!

I am surprised however, that you didn't mention that Carolyn eventually had to resort to dog commands to get Jennifer C to shut the hell up. "Jennifer! EASY!" I thought she was gonna continue with, "Heel, girl! SIt! Roll over! Play Dead!" and then throw a kibble her way.

absolutely brilliant b-side...
Two weeks ago I stated that I don't like 13 of the 17. Now I like John, solely.
While everyone is getting in an anti-semetic up-roar, how bout getting your panties bunched up about the "blowjob" comment Chris made. What a bunch of a-holes these people are. I read that Jen, (Bettie Page's evil ugly twin)is actually half Jewish and is about to get the boot from her Real Estate job. Good! Anyone who is interested, these morons all have profiles on friendster.
Spelling errors are mine...Mick

B-side you rock! Awesome recap. I also couldn't believe how stupid JennC was (and she has been fired from her real estate gig). It's amazing that this group of smart (?), well educated, successful (?) women can't get along for two days to accomplish a task.

I was glad to see StacyR kick Jenn's @ss in the boardroom. She didn't have to worry too much, cause Carolyn saw exactly what was happening (it's completely personal).

Sandy could have redeemed herself by saying, "I screwed up on the decor, you should fire me" when The Donald asked her who he should fire. But she took the easy way out and stabbed her friend in the back.

I'm not fond of Pamela, but it seems cruel to throw her in with these women. Although she has contempt for a lot of the men. Her expressions tell the story.

I also noticed the near-accident that Jenn's taxi had. That would have been priceless.

Can't wait for Thursday. Keep up the good work.

I cant beleive this team. Seems lost without the Bradford. Biggest mistake Trump may have made in the past year. Great recap though