Anyone catch the awesome clip of Trump slapping around Vince McMahon? Since it all has to do with wrestling I have no idea whether it's real or fake, but it's still hilarious to watch. YouTube it! Oh fine, I'll do it for you. And also, luckily for us, Trump's guy won in the ring, so The Donald did not have to shave off his trademark coif. That was a close call. Also, The Apprentice happened.
The girls return from the boardroom and try to con Tim into thinking that Nicole got fired. Oh, but she was just hiding in the bushes! Nicole, you lovable scamp! They tell Tim that Trump was really down on him, prompting Tim to call him a bastard. Because that's surely the way to win a job, call the boss a bastard. Then again, this is Trump, so he might like that sort of thing. Heidi complains that they're all acting like they're in high school, and honestly is she really surprised about that? Has she ever SEEN this show?
Well, James is disgusted. He even says so. He pull his team back into the mansion and tell them about how Nicole told Trump to offer Tim the chance to switch teams, because she thought that he would. So James asks if they planned that whole thing. You know, between the bushes. Tim reassures his team that his loyalty is split between them and Nicole. Huh? Tim is stupid.
"MY BUDDY TONY JUST WHACKED A GUY, SO I TOOK HIM OUT FOR A NICE BOWL A PASTA FAZOOL!!"
The next morning, the mists roll in over the mansion. Hey, they've used that before. Lies! Secrets and lies! The teams get an early morning phone call (yay!) and Andie tells them to meet Mr. Trump at the L.A. Times. Hey, I was just thinking about something. Remember right after the first episode of the season, where they had to hawk car washes, when Nicole said that her voice sounded like that because she was hoarse from yelling all day? Yeah, by now I think we can conclude that she was lying. She sounds that terrible all the time.
The teams find Mr. Trump amid a maze of spinning newspapers. He throws a lot of statistics at them, as always, then tells them that they'll be creating a supplement for the Sunday paper that will feature a mouthwash called Smart Mouth. He introduces the Bland Execs, one of whom is a doctor. Of bad breath-ology? Trump then throws it on over to Ivanka to explain the task, and she...repeats everything he just said. Then Donald Jr. pops out from behind a garbage can and says it again. Then George and Caroline bungee down from the ceiling and say it again, just for good measure.
Journalism!
Goofy music plunks away as the morons at Team Arrow smell each other's breath. Ew. Frank starts to throw out an idea, but Tim steamrolls him with his own vision. He wants a group of people standing around with a headline that says 'Everyone has bad breath.' Which is exactly what I want to look at in my Sunday paper. Tim then dances around to the front of the wipe board, or the "Genius Chart", as I like to call it, to show the illustrations of the science behind Smart Mouth. Good strategy, Tim. Dr. Halitosis will love you for that.
"Science!"
On the other hand, we know that Kinetic is doing well because they get the cosmopolitan, can-do-attitude music. Heidi is project manager (again? Hey Nicole, STEP UP), so you know they're probably going to win. Their concept involves the three of them posing with salacious smiles to convey the fact that EVERYONE has bad breath, but that Smart Mouth can help. It can help EVERYONE! And by everyone they of course mean only the sexy ladies. Nicole reminds us that they're not just three intelligent women, but they're also really hot. Thanks, Nicole. Heidi expresses some concern over the fact that they've narrowed down the demographic to just really attractive women (seriously, these girls have self-esteem issues), but we can all tell they're going to win so let's just not waste any more time with these SMOKIN' HOT BABES.
"We are enthusiastic about our product."
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Comments (13)
this show is so lame, but i enjoy your recaps. too bad you have to expend your efforts on a bunch of total re-re's!!!
1 of 13 | Posted by IDon'tGetIt | Posted on April 4, 2007 12:56 PM
Snartness in the science is a THIRTY BILLION DOLLAR A YEAR INDUSTRY!!!
2 of 13 | Posted by sadie | Posted on April 4, 2007 1:24 PM
Kristine's husband's name is Ludo - short for Ludovic Lefebvre. And no, she's not delusional, he really is one of the top chefs in the world.
3 of 13 | Posted by r.pupkin![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 4, 2007 2:38 PM
Hahaha. You had me at your FNL recaps - but this? This is hilarious too! You're seriously my new fav' around here. Thanks for the laughs!
4 of 13 | Posted by dainsey![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 4, 2007 2:44 PM
Great Recap! Seriously, one of the first recaps since b-side left that made me laugh out loud. Well done!
I'm glad you mentioned that Trump was totally the one who kept bringing up the showmance. I was yelling that at my tv during the show.
5 of 13 | Posted by Emilita33![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 4, 2007 2:59 PM
Your recaps are the most entertaing part of the show but I'm surprised you didn't grey out Tim's picture at the end. It would've been HUGE
6 of 13 | Posted by 626![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 4, 2007 4:50 PM
i love the red moon shot too! havent' we seen that before? seems like the weather is often overcast when we see the apprentice folks at work,but the generic LA shots are sun-splashed and perfect,right out of the same archives where the red moon shot was pulled.
Tim, hope your un-relationship with nicole was worth it!!!
nicole seems to be under the impression that she might actually be an actual contender for apprenticehood. sorry nicole, but it will never happen!
7 of 13 | Posted by lovedoctor![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 4, 2007 6:14 PM
James whines in his interview that when a person complains about the idea at the last minute, it's bad for the team. Yeah, kind of like you've done EVERY WEEK, James?? Yeah, that's what I thought. Get off of my television. Take your Fountain O' Hair and go.
I was sooooo glad that you picked up on that too!! I guess James only does it when he is NOT the PM!! It was okay for him to do it every task, but he doesn't like to be second guessed. Looks like he should have listened to Frank after all....
I was glad that Tim finally got the boot. His "relationship" with Nicole was getting old. And a little creepy!!
8 of 13 | Posted by Featherhead![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 5, 2007 6:04 AM
Great recap! It is definitely more interesting than the show. I too think it's weird that Donald Trump fired Tim for being distracted by his 'romance' with Nicole when it was Trump who kept bringing it up all the time. Of course, Tim didn't do himself any favors with his humina-humina-humina defense, so he probably deserved to go. And I hope this is the last we hear about his and Nicole's 'romance', although I'm sure there'll be plenty of mention of it during the finale/reunion show.
9 of 13 | Posted by Aries | Posted on April 5, 2007 11:50 AM
When the winning team got their prize, did anyone notice how grating Nicole's voice was when she said "My mehm, Heidi's mehm, and Kristine's husbend." And no I did not spell them wrong, that's how she said it. My boyfriend wanted to shoot the tv.
I hate Frank with a passion. I think that James and Stephanie wanted Tim gone instead of Frank because Frank is no competition whatsoever. Why the f*ck is Frank still there? I ask you.
10 of 13 | Posted by Reese Witherspoon | Posted on April 6, 2007 7:28 AM
Reese,
EVERYTHING that comes out of nicole's mouth grates on my nerves. i've made claim before that due to her accent alone (aside from any other reasons) she'd never be the apprentice. donald would want to shoot himself by the end of the day listening to her jabber along with that irritating accent
Frank amuses me and I think he amuses trump too. he HAS to keep someone there for either comic relief or for future episodes where he can LATER showcase someone's idiocy and incompetence. you can't really get rid of all the ones who suck too soon or the show loses some of its fun.
thats my theory anyway
11 of 13 | Posted by lovedoctor![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 6, 2007 1:09 PM
Screampillar, I started laughing at the title and didn't stop until the end. Hilarious. For as much as I have knocked this show, I have to give credit, because the last couple episodes have been good tv. Are these candidates fairly mediocre? Yes. Do I care? No, not if I'm entertained. They're not coming to work for me. Stefani impressed me this week with her presentation. So I guess there is more to her than her hot librarian routine. Screampillar, you also correctly pointed out that she is smart enough to keep her mouth shut in the boardroom when she's not in the line of fire. This should be obvious to everyone by now but people time and time again just can't seem to help themselves.
12 of 13 | Posted by JasonR![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on April 7, 2007 9:18 PM
This show gets more lamier (as Nicole might say) with every passing season. It seems to me that all these contestants would be better suited for a job at the local pizzeria than as the Project Manager of Trump anything. What happened to people like Bill or Amy of the first season? They were smart and professional. They also made for good TV but this has just turned into a circus. Frank?? Nicole?? Idiots!
Still, I have to admit I love to see them squirm in the boardroom. And what the hell does Tim find so fascinating in Nicole? Do these people even have college degrees or is a GED sufficient nowadays to become an "apprentice" to Donald Trump?
Great recap! Laughed my ass off through the whole thing but the title was the best!!
13 of 13 | Posted by UglyCutie | Posted on April 8, 2007 10:44 PM