Click on Maria to play (Quicktime required)
In honor of The Apprentice 2 wrapping up next week, I decided to put together this little montage of Maria Boren during her final blazing episode. Note her robotic movements, her spastic blinking, and her manic hands which flap and gesticulate so violently you'd think she'd need a license to operate them. Most impressive, however, is Maria's keen way of balancing between passive aggression and full out hostility. Repressed rage never looked so manicured.
Truthfully, I'd never want to get on this woman's bad side, which is exactly what I'm doing every time I post about her. Oh Maria, we'll always love you. Here's to hoping you'll be on Apprentice All Stars four years from now!
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Comments (21)
Was that a wedding/engagement ring I saw on her finger?
1 of 21 | Posted by Papercuts! | Posted on December 10, 2004 6:34 AM
I smell Oscar!!
Isn't she married to a Marine pilot?
2 of 21 | Posted by brigita | Posted on December 10, 2004 7:51 AM
aww yeaaaah! dat wuz off da hizzzzy fo' shizzzy!!!!11!
3 of 21 | Posted by Ananda Fan | Posted on December 10, 2004 8:38 AM
yeah, she's married - I just read her Friendster profile! one of her hobbies/interests listed is "spending time with my husband". I'm sure he loves her Maxim cover.
4 of 21 | Posted by mike | Posted on December 10, 2004 9:47 AM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ahem.
Sorry.
Yeah, like the only thing keeping me from Maria is the fact that she's already married.
5 of 21 | Posted by Papercuts! | Posted on December 10, 2004 10:42 AM
Amazing. AM-A-ZING.
6 of 21 | Posted by Pat | Posted on December 10, 2004 11:06 AM
I ditto Papercuts comments...
7 of 21 | Posted by Plague | Posted on December 10, 2004 2:08 PM
A true piece of artwork.
8 of 21 | Posted by pixies_rock_girl | Posted on December 10, 2004 4:42 PM
I would argue that movie was M-azing!
9 of 21 | Posted by Jenn | Posted on December 10, 2004 5:28 PM
all day at work i waited to be able to come watch this on my home computer. it was worth the wait.
10 of 21 | Posted by Leah3t | Posted on December 10, 2004 10:42 PM
I was diggin' the music in the background. I liked the montage, but lets face it, nothing can top the Scott and Jase video. That was a classic. You have a lot of talent B-Side. I like how you waste it on making people on reality TV look stupid. What could be more fun?
11 of 21 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on December 11, 2004 1:52 PM
Thank you Lisa. You're right - absolutely nothing can top Scott and Jase. I'm so proud to have made my mark on the internet lexicon.
12 of 21 | Posted by b-side | Posted on December 11, 2004 2:32 PM
The video was good, what I could hear of it. The music was about twice as loud as needed. Otherwise great.
13 of 21 | Posted by bob | Posted on December 12, 2004 3:38 AM
I am convinced Maria is a Romulan(her hair and attitude are perfect for it). One vidcap on this site even showed her ears in an almost pointy fashion. That first pic of her could have easily been her yelling at Jean Luc Picard in his ready room telling him to get out of the Neutral zone.
Still she is/was my favorite apprentice of this season. Still the hottest. I better go buy that Maxim issue. :)
On the clip, I would have omitted the Strut song. Where was the footage of her flapping her arms like a madwoman on the QVC bit? That was classic(that and the "me me me" comment).
14 of 21 | Posted by British | Posted on December 12, 2004 3:46 PM
I really want to see this, but can't get it to work. It says, "click on Maria to play", but I don't see a photo of Maria. I've tried several times. Can you help? Thanks.
15 of 21 | Posted by Debbie | Posted on December 13, 2004 12:49 AM
in the sunday times, there was a full page ad for some event at Macy's with some Apprentice cast members. in the picture were Pamela (lookin' good), John (model looking I guess) and....Maria! sans makeup and looking off to the side like an angel in repose. an angel named Lucifer.
16 of 21 | Posted by mike | Posted on December 13, 2004 8:19 AM
Loved it!
Yeah, I agree w/ some others, could have done without the music. And maybe the QVC episode bits thrown in.
But otherwise awesome job once again :)
17 of 21 | Posted by Genevieve | Posted on December 13, 2004 5:51 PM
what a severe bitch...how sad for the husband.
18 of 21 | Posted by kendostickextend | Posted on December 16, 2004 12:42 AM
Maria's haircut is a real turn-on for me, and it suits her perfectly.
19 of 21 | Posted by Ed Cookingham | Posted on December 18, 2004 6:13 AM
B-side:
Your recaps are right on the mark. You write the best and funniest columns on the internet!
20 of 21 | Posted by Kathleen | Posted on December 21, 2004 8:35 PM
Hey, i came across an amazing picture of Maria on Snarkywood.com, here's the link!
http://www.snarkywood.com/2004/12/the_women_of_th.html
it's under the bit about maria.. i laughed for a very long time... you'll know it when you see it.
Z
21 of 21 | Posted by RavinBoi | Posted on December 27, 2004 9:50 PM