Over at mall two, Team Arrow spends some time brainstorming. Tim devises the plan to have a raffle drawing every 20 minutes, giving mall customers a lot of incentive to sign up. Frank puts himself in charge of a small PA system they will have set up. Oh great, Frank on a microphone, just what every mall needs.
Once again, Surya starts talking and making this task sound a lot more difficult than it actually is. Signing up mall customers for a FREE raffle where they can win a FREE trip anywhere they want does not sound difficult. There's no need to bring words like "external marketing" into this. After basically being told to shut the hell up by Surya, Frank spends the rest of this meeting doodling a caricature of Surya on a napkin. Oh that Frank! What a funny guy!
Frank hands the napkin drawing to Tim, who finds it absurdly funny for some reason, as does Nicole. This eventually turns into a scene from a third grade classroom, with Surya being the teacher, and Frank being the kid who picks his nose and should probably be held back a grade or two.
Back at mall Numero Uno, Team Kinetic starts to set up their sweepstakes kiosk. Heidi explains the signup process to us: mall customers will have to get on a computer (problema numero uno) where they'll have to watch a tutorial about Priceline.com (problema numero dos). After the tutorial they'll have to enter their personal information into the computer in order to be a part of the sweepstakes (problema numero tres). Sounds simple enough until you think about the fact that 50% of the mall customers are Hispanic and might not speak English. Wouldn't paper and pencils just be a lot simpler? Or maybe instructions in Spanish? No? Okay then. This whole process seems muy dificil, when really it should be...uh...facil?
Jenn has designed the kiosk in a tropical theme, which translated to flowers, straw hats, and Hawaiian shirts for the team. Oh, and Jenn also threw a pink blowup octopus on top of the kiosk, which Aimee decides looks completely unprofessional. To Jenn's disdain, Aimee removes the offending octopus and suggests that the team vote on whether or not to keep it. Yeah, that's a good usage of time.
Team Arrow hits the streets with a massive amount of fliers. They attach them to cars, shops, and street signs in the attempt to get people over to the mall. They also put ads up all over their mall in order to draw attention to their raffle. Good job Team Arrow, you've finally done something right. Back at the mall, Frank accosts anyone that will listen to him and drags them over to their kiosk to sign up for the raffle. I guess his overbearing nature works well when he's trying to sign someone up for a FREE TRIP. But that's about it.
"I am a selling machine!" he tells us. "Where's my PM? I have no idea. All I know is that Franky Suits is on fire!" Who is Franky Suits? Is that his mob name? I'd prefer "Franky Loudmouth" or "Franky Blowhard." Or "Franky Third Grade." You know, something that really describes who he is.
Meanwhile, James also seems to think that Surya is nowhere to be found. It turns out however, that Surya is also scouring the mall in an attempt to get people to sign up for the sweepstakes. This does not appear to be Surya's best skill. Nobody in the mall is interested in Surya or his FREE vacation. Way to sell, Surya.
Back in little Mexico, it's more salsa music as team Kinetic tries to draw up interest in their sweepstakes. Heidi and Angela walk around the mall, and quickly realize that, oh my God, this mall is full of Hispanic people! And many of them don't speak English! Hmmm, this was also a fact that they had learned the day before and might have wanted to plan for...time for a new plan! "Mucho dinero!" They begin to tell mall customers. At least they didn't go for the "You-o can-o win-o money-o!" route.
Derrick and Muna break out their high school Spanish skills and attempt to help mall customers sign up for the sweetstakes, a time consuming process. Oh if only there were instructions in Spanish. How could they have ever planned for this? Oh that's right, simply by looking around the mall the previous day and noticing that EVERYONE IN THE MALL IS HISPANIC.
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Comments (18)
Fantastic recap, better than the show itself.
PS. Am I the only one who noticed how much the editors LOVE to focus on Stefani's breasts? We see them more than her face!
1 of 18 | Posted by Zharak
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Posted on February 20, 2007 12:12 AM
"Is that a p***s in your shorts or are you just happy to see me?"
God, that was funny.
2 of 18 | Posted by nerrawllehctim
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Posted on February 20, 2007 8:09 AM
Great recap, really concise and funny!
That kiss was really bizarre.
3 of 18 | Posted by soflat
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Posted on February 20, 2007 8:21 AM
If Nicole was concerned about being stung by a jellyfish while surfing, she should have been more worried about that wily octopus in the hot tub trying to attach his tentacles to her face.
4 of 18 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on February 20, 2007 8:45 AM
Okay, watching the kissing in the hot tub was painful; he just kept going in over and over, and holding her head in an awkward way each time.
This recap was great, I'm impressed! This show seems to have no hope for getting any better in the future, so it's nice to at least be entertained by the recap!
5 of 18 | Posted by Ash
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Posted on February 20, 2007 9:13 AM
Zharak, you are completely right. Stefani's boobs are in the foreground of champagne flutes, hanging out the bottom of bikinis and basically all over. But then again, they're smarter and more interesting than half the cast so I can see why the producers went that route. Although I must say it's a shame, because Stefani seems to be one of the only people on the show who has a brain and uses it regularly, and not just to humiliate Surya. Let's see if the next couple of episodes highlight Stefani's REAL attributes.
6 of 18 | Posted by 1LPride
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Posted on February 20, 2007 11:19 AM
Could anyone figure out what Aimee yelled at Jenn and Derrick while she was getting in the car? Kinda looked like "f*ck you" to me, but I always think that when the networks bleep out expletives.
Anyone know for sure?
Oh and I'm soooo glad Jenn is gone. I got very tired of looking at her intensely wrinkled forehead constantly; does she need glasses or is that her "I want to please everyone" look, or just what what is the reason for that terrible look?
My own forehead started aching in sympathy every time I saw her, ow.
7 of 18 | Posted by Eyepoke
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Posted on February 20, 2007 11:54 AM
If you watched this show on nbc.com wouldn't you have noticed that it's spelled Derek and not Derrick? Just saying.
8 of 18 | Posted by r.pupkin
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Posted on February 20, 2007 12:37 PM
r.pupkin said: If you watched this show on nbc.com wouldn't you have noticed that it's spelled Derek and not Derrick? Just saying.
I know you are directing this to the author and not necessarily me, but since you brought it up, personally I can barely be bothered to remember reality show names at all. Notice how I said in my last comment, "I'm glad Jenn is gone" when I really meant Painful Forehead Girl.
I tend to call them private nicknames, like "Painful Forehead Girl" or "Ewwww" or "Wild Eyed Insecure Black Guy" or "Dyke" (the Olympian) or "Fruity Pebbles". (Fruity Pebbles was for the guy fired last week, cannot remember his real name but he always had kind of a goofy look on his face and he never said a word when he was sitting on Trump's RH side in the board room. That guy. And my husband called him Fruity Pebbles and I guess because it made little sense, it made me laugh the hardest)
Derek, Schmerrick, does it matter?
As Amber said to Rob on that Poker reality show that aired recently, "You're just a reality show guy, Rob, not a REAL celebrity!" (paraphrase)
Oh s-s-n-a-p!
Why bother memorizing their names when there are sooo many reality shows, soooo many players and most of them are soooo utterly forgettable. :)
9 of 18 | Posted by Eyepoke
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Posted on February 20, 2007 1:32 PM
pupkin - I guess I had a hard enough time remembering that Aimee's name is spelled Aimee. Seriously. Aimee? That just looks completely unnecessary.
10 of 18 | Posted by Jordan
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Posted on February 20, 2007 1:36 PM
I call bullshit. Main Place Mall (where Kinetic was working) is my mall. I'm there twice a week. I am a white girl and while it is true that Hispanics make up 50% of mall traffic, I'd further guess that only maybe 10% of those speak no english.
I think they all just pulled the ol "no speak-a english" trick so they didn't have to join a sweepstakes. That's what I try to do, only being a white girl, I usually have to fake being German or French and my accents are horrid.
Anyway, I think Derek (they only show his name under his head about 800 times per episode, it should be at least as easy to absorb as the mall guide's name) is probably my favorite, only because he has managed to keep his gaping maw shut enough to not get on my nerves.
11 of 18 | Posted by Die_MediaWhores
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Posted on February 20, 2007 6:22 PM
That guy's name is Derek? I barely register them as having names at all.
This was a good recap. Now I don't actually have to watch this show anymore.
12 of 18 | Posted by JTContinental
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Posted on February 20, 2007 11:14 PM
SERIOUSLY - this show is dead. R*I*P* End of story.
13 of 18 | Posted by eellsinoc
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Posted on February 20, 2007 11:27 PM
This season sucks so much. Contestants who are personality vacuums; pointless challenges; crappy rewards (surfing at Santa Monica??); ridiculous tent sitch (ugh)... I could go on.
The biggest clanger in this episode is Trump's assertion that Gladstone's is "one of Southern California's absolutely best restaurants."
Say WHAT?!?!?!
Hands down the worst meal I ever had was at this overpriced, sub-par, seaside dining establishment. Where they make chunky tinfoil swans of everyone's leftovers. Riiight.
Gee, Trump, have you never heard of Cut, Spago, Providence, Sona, Valentino, Ortolan, Lucques, Jar, Urasawa, AOC, Angelini Osteria, Max?
Just a handful of some of the actual finest restaurants here in LA.
14 of 18 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on February 21, 2007 12:25 PM
This show blows. The only reason I still watch is that it helps me enjoy the recaps more (nice job Jordan). We used to laugh at the contestants, now we're laughing at the show itself. Very sad how far this show has fallen.
As annoying as Frankie Suits is, at least he has a personality. This is the blandest group ever assembled by far. I will try to enjoy what surely will be the last season of this show.
15 of 18 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on February 21, 2007 1:12 PM
I'm glad Aimee is gone. I got very tired of her sour look and perpetual frown lines.
Someone please jab her with a needle full of botox!
16 of 18 | Posted by lovedoctor
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Posted on February 21, 2007 3:46 PM
Thanks for the recap, I missed this episode, and I have a feeling that's going to happen alot more...not loving this season at all. Lovin' the recaps though!
17 of 18 | Posted by Jojobear
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Posted on February 22, 2007 1:40 PM
I can't believe there is no screen shot of Aimee's evil eye before getting into the cab. It was like a really bad actor trying to portray anger. Priceless!
18 of 18 | Posted by NateTheOkay
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Posted on February 28, 2007 8:01 PM