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Recap: The Apprentice: They Should Have Been Called Team Ramrod - TVgasm

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By Jordan

Before watching this week's episode of The Apprentice, I made sure to check out NBC's website because I had read that every wannabe apprentice is labeled with a one word description.  Instead of legitimate descriptions (The Idiot, The Kiss-Ass, The Guy With Half a Brain) we get things like "The Philosopher," "The Believer," and…"The Hair?"  What the hell is that supposed to mean?  Maybe we'll find out this week… 

Anyway, last week on The Apprentice we met 18 new Type A's and Heidi led her team (now named Kinetic – did I miss something?) to victory.  And at the end of the day, Martin, The Philosopher, reminded us of the old adage, "If you dress like a picnic table, you will be fired."  Was that Plato?  Socrates?  I'm not really sure.

We open in Tent City where the losing team is wondering who is coming back to live outside for another day.  Frank returns to a chorus of cheers and goes into this long celebration speech about how he's full of fire and New York attitude and whatnot, all the while apparently forgetting that he lost the last task.  But then again, NBC's website has nicknamed Frank "The Mouth" so I guess he's just trying to live up to his one word nickname.  I think the cheers are more for Martin's departure than for Frank's arrival because everyone was getting tired of hearing made-up African sayings.

Opening credits roll.  Money Money Money!

Two phones ring at what looks like 4:45 in the morning, and what I believe is a very scary-looking Kristine and Aaron learn they have to meet the Donald at Pacific Palisades Park at 8:30.  Was a 4:45 wakeup call really that necessary?  I guess it might be for the folks living in…Tent City!  We get to a few shots of the newly named Team Arrow struggling to live outside, and Carey bitches to us how hard it is living in a tent.  Whatever.

And to the park we go, overlooking Santa Monica beach.  Trump announces that the bathing suit business is a "MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS."  What, no specifics?  How many billion?  This will torture me all week.  This task is to design and manufacture a line of bathing suits for bathing suit manufacturer Trina Turk, and the team that makes the most money selling to the buyers wins.  And as an added bonus, the entire winning team will be exempt from the next challenge!  Wha?  Trump is really getting crazy this year.

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Kristine, looking a lot less disheveled than she did at 5 in the morning, reiterates what we already know.  The stakes are huge.

Back at the beach, Nicole is ready to take over Team Arrow, even though she has no voice.  At least when they lose again she's got an excuse.  "But Mr. Trump, nobody could hear me."

Team Arrow gets in their van and begins discussing strategy.  Carey, the Perfectionist, begins sketching some…designs.  Aaron describes the sketches as "Short, tight, trunk cuts.  The men's swimsuits that Carey wears are probably not the same that most guys in America wear because Carey is gay."  Let the stereotyping begin.  Aaron added, "I'm surprised Carey isn't in jail or selling crack to your children because Carey is black."  But Aaron does have a point.  Those sketches do look pretty er…gay.

Over at Team Kinetic, Heidi, The Hottie (no seriously, that's what it says over at NBC.com) is still PM after leading her team to victory last week.  Jenn tells us that their theme is "beachwear, but kicked up a notch."  What, like flames shooting out from the nipples?  Bam!

Heidi doesn't like the first bathing suit at all, and I mean, she would know.  She is a hottie.  Marisa and Heidi get into a little tiff but in the end Heidi lets Marisa keep it so she can be blamed later if it's a failure.  Yay scapegoating!


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