Some of you may have been confused this past Sunday as to whether you were watching The Apprentice or Fear Factor. Here's how to spot the difference: Fear Factor is a show full of people with little or no common sense, whereas The Apprentice is a show full of MBAs with little or no common sense. It's tricky, but you'll get the hang of it.
This week's trainwreck featured...a horde of killer bees! Sadly, they did not turn into giant man-eating killer bees hellbent on the destruction of downtown L.A., but we'll take what we can get. Papa Bauer can handle the rest.
We begin as we always do, with the losing team awaiting their fallen leaders. We also get a replay of the last episode's boardroom where Marisa gets fired. I have to say, I'm a big fan of this. The utter humiliation of getting fired on Donald Trump's reality show gets played out on national television for all future generations to cherish not once, but TWICE. Take THAT, Chicken Suit Lover.

The floating ghost head of Marisa shall forever haunt this mansion! OBEY!!
Anyway, Aimee and Heidi return to their team, and while Aimee is greeted tepidly, Heidi gets a bunch of hoots and hollers. Subtle, kids. Aaron returns to his team to complain about how Trump yelled at him for not saying anything in the boardroom. I think Trump should have been thanking his lucky stars that Aaron refrained from opening his chin donut mouth, but that's just me.
The next morning, Trump is having a mini-conference with last year's BritWinner, Sean. I don't know about anyone else, but for the entire last season all I ever wanted to do was slap Sean across the face. Trump suppresses that urge (though I suspect it's raging in him as well), and tells him that he'll be out of town, so for the next couple of days it's The Sean Show: The Musical! He greets the candidates, who all happen to be dressed in pastels like they're at some sort of May Day celebration. He blares on and on about California's amazing economy, which, as it turns out, includes honey. Never heard of it? Well, it's one of the Donald's FAVORITE THINGS. The teams have to harvest, market, and sell bottles of Sue Bee honey at Ralph's grocery stores, and whoever earns the most honey wins. Hey, at least it's a step up from The Great P'Eatzaa Catastrophe of '06.

What is this, an Easter parade?
The teams don protective "spacesuits", as Stefani calls them. Stefani, as it turns out, is deathly afraid of bees, and she doesn't appreciate a "thin, white suit separating your skin from really really angry bees." Well, Stefani, maybe the bees don't appreciate you calling them angry. They were just peeved. Now they're out for vengeance. And don't forget - they can smell fear. She whines and wimpers as she and the rest of the team attack the poor things with smoke and general pussiness. But all ends well, and Stefani makes her peace with the bees. That sure was compelling!

"I'm an astronaut!"
Over at the Sue Bee Brain Trust, Surya is throwing all sorts of nonsense around, such as phrases like "the typical honey consumer" and "honey versatility" and "the first moment of truth" and "reason to believe" and "this is what I do for a living." All equally laughable. Dude, it's HONEY! Everyone knows what honey is. There isn't one thing that would change my mind about whether or not to buy honey, no matter how many "reasons to believe" you throw at me. Surya continues to exasperate his teammates, while xylophone music plinks away in the background. And you know what that means. Xylophone = certain failure. Not as bad as the tuba, but certainly worse than the oboe.
Meanwhile, the other team manages to harvest the honey without any spacesuit-related incidents. Derek gets stung a few times, but he's so puffy anyway I'm sure no one will notice. They return to find Aimee and Jen sitting around with their thumbs up their asses, without a product and without any semblance of a marketing campaign. So on a whim they all come up with the brilliant slogan of: Bee More Honey. That's right. Bee More Honey. What does this mean? Scientists could work on it around the clock for months with high-tech machines and robots and still not make heads or tails of it. Kristin, very upset with Aimee's lack of effort, channels a bit of the ole' George and calls it "a disaster. A total disaster." Oh, George. I miss you and your cookie-loving ways.



Comments (12)
At the end of the episode when Surya was walking back to the backyard, I could have sworn he said,"I have to break something!" Is this a preview of things to come?...
1 of 12 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on February 14, 2007 12:44 PM
After how the bees were hyped up for the last few weeks I was surprised to see them on screen for like what, a minute?
It looks like Kinetic has learned a new trick. I'd bet we'll see more use of the "meet the Gold Metalist" stratagy in future episodes.
After the first episode I was totally sick of Frank but OMG this season would be so boring without him!
2 of 12 | Posted by 626
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Posted on February 14, 2007 1:36 PM
Darnit!.... The only hot dude is gone!
3 of 12 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on February 14, 2007 2:54 PM
They made it sound like bees would be attacking all of the people. I am so disappointed, nothing even happened :(
4 of 12 | Posted by mangos
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Posted on February 14, 2007 5:08 PM
Screampillar, your recap was about 20 times more entertaining than the episode itself. If it weren't for the fact the show enhances my enjoyment of the recaps I would probably have quit watching by now. Frank's a little annoying, but so far he's the only one with a personality. Hard to care about this group at all.
5 of 12 | Posted by JasonR
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Posted on February 14, 2007 6:43 PM
I think Trump was unduly Harsh on Aaron for his sins of the past. Aaron was supposed to have been judged upon his performance on this week’s task, not his lackluster boardroom appearance from last week. To be sure, the sales guy (who doesn't like to sell) missed a golden opportunity to demonstrate his skills, and truly deserved to be fired. But quite frankly, so did Amiee, for her uninspired leadership, regardless of her team’s win. Had it not been for Derek’s beekeeper outfit to generate some (ahem) buzz in the store for their product, team Arrow could have just as easily won. By the way, wasn't it Derek who mocked Marisa’s proposed chicken suit outfit? Hey, who’s the prop comic now?
A time will eventually come when one of these bidness geniuses will realize that the bulk sales gambit is only appropriate for certain items. If they were tasked with selling candy bars, soda, or snack chips, then perhaps a gas station or convenience store would have been interested in talking to them. But bottles of honey? These stores probably don’t move 2-3 bottles of honey per year! They aren’t going to stockpile a case of it, regardless of the volume discount. Nobody really goes to a gas station to buy honey anyway.
That stupid “Today is Honey Day” sign looked like it was designed by a group of third-graders, and wasn't about to entice anyone to go out of their way to buy honey. Nor was a redesign on the packaging label. One has to assume that the Sue Bee people long ago hired a firm to analyze the living piss out of this issue. As anyone who’s ever visited Costco on a Saturday knows, the key to getting people to buy a food they otherwise wouldn't is simple...free samples.
Did anyone else notice that the teaser clip for next week’s episode turned out to be a spoiler for this week’s show? It aired in the commercial break just before the boardroom decision, and showed a bug-eyed Surya, and amorous Nicole. Obviously, neither of these two would not be fired, if they were about to show up in a future episode. Everyone kinda knew by that time that Aaron was toast, but doesn't someone at the network get paid to make sure this kind of amateur shit doesn’t happen? Someone should bee fired.
6 of 12 | Posted by conrad5
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Posted on February 14, 2007 9:17 PM
Sorry for the double negative. I meant, “Neither of these two would be fired”
7 of 12 | Posted by conrad5
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Posted on February 14, 2007 9:27 PM
Was it just me, or did it seem like Trump said (actually yelled) "ass" at least fivbe times during the board room. Very professional.
8 of 12 | Posted by Jen
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Posted on February 15, 2007 5:42 AM
Awesome recap screampillar!
I like Frank, he's so ADHD - he cracks me up!
I really hate the whole "you're a PM until you lose" factor, it's dull, and it's limiting our exposure to the rest of the candidates. Frankly, I am not impressed with either Heidi or Aimee, however Stefani (I keep mentally calling her Ste-Fah-nee, like Gwen) seems to pull it out every time, she's saved Kinetic's "asses" a few times now.
I've always liked this show, but I'm getting bored with the amateur nature of the tasks, and the lackluster abilities of 90% of the cast. They're in LA, why aren't they marketing entertainment based assignments, doing event promotions, restaurant openings, or creating commercials with a studio?
Nicole and Tim? Feh...
9 of 12 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
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Posted on February 15, 2007 11:36 AM
"Oh, who am I kidding, Trump doesn't do anything quietly."
funny, funny recap.
10 of 12 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on February 15, 2007 12:18 PM
Trump must use Sue Bee Honey™ as a hair product. That's gotta be the reason why he loves it so much. It not only manages to keep his bird's nest looking so healthy, it also keeps those strands so neatly in place!
11 of 12 | Posted by Foxbase Alpha
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Posted on February 15, 2007 4:33 PM
I hope the Amazing Race is on at the same time as Apprentice... then I will never be compeled to watch this piece of crap show again!
12 of 12 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 17, 2007 11:51 PM