Question: Was there ever a song in the Wizard of Oz about munchkins expiring? I only ask because after a few weeks of "Ding dong the witch is dead" comments from Stacy and Raj, it seems as though the flying house that is Donald Trump's wrath has landed squarely on the resident munchkin this time. I'm curious if there might be a song like "La la, a munchkin died!" that would be appropriate for everyone to sing. Just curious.
Yes, at long last, Stacy was finally fired from The Apprentice last night, and this just in - she's still talking. It was inevitable that our budding lawyer would never make it to the halfway mark because, well, her greatest idea up to this point was being really really annoying. Still, she did have some assets. Okay, well, maybe not. But she was instrumental in getting uber-moron Jen C. fired, and we can all be thankful of that.
As usual the episode started off with the gang unwinding in the apartment, talking a mile a minute about the previous boardroom. Apparently it was Tex-Mex night at Casa Del Apprentice as Ivana served up a plate of droopy, sad nachos. They looked about as appetizing as Red Velvet Cake Ice Cream. Before anyone could even chow down though, the phone ominously rang. Wes made a bee-line for the phone, noting that he'd never answered it before. Maybe he was expecting to win a sweepstakes? Well, sadly, all he got was Robin who simply requested the group's presence in the boardroom. Hey, and let's hear it for Robin. She had an extra line this week. Looks like she's moving up in the world of fake receptionist...ing.
Anyway, everyone all zipped down to the boardroom, causing Andy to lament, "I just got back. I wanted to eat my taco." Aww. Poor thing. Give the boy a taco. Seriously. Otherwise we might be subjected to comments like "Mr. Trump, it was not my fault that I underperformed. I was without taco." We'll never know if Andy ever had his taco, but that's because Trump had bigger and better things to do - namely, switch up the group. Jen and Wes became project managers for this task and per Trump's usual divisive request, they kicked off three people from their teams that they didn't want. Wes bid adieu to Raj, Chris, and Kevin (surprise upset keeping Andy and all his taco baggage) while Jen nixed Sandy, Stacy and Maria. Sandy seemed mildly shocked, and Maria received the news with her usual icy Nazi death stare. But seriously - there's only enough room on Team Apex for one QVC hostess. Surely Maria can bring the usefulness of her Home Economics minor with a concentration in Public Speaking to Wes's team. You know, especially if the next challenge has to do with baking pie and talking to people.
After the mixup (and the last parting shots of George for the episode), everyone crammed into the elevator. People, there are two elevator banks. No need to wrinkle those designer suits and induce Maria's Hulk-like rage. Nevertheless, up at the loft, the new teams regrouped and discussed their strengths and weaknesses. In an interview, Stacy observed that "the men think I'm really vocal and opinionated and ask a lot of questions, and they are absolutely 100% correct! [laughs to herself]" ZINGER! Another great notable quotable from the genius wit of Stacy! After last week's Enron slam, I thought she wouldn't be able to outdo herself. But no! Stacy, I beg - please stop, my rib cage is hurting so.
FYI - Stacy can be seen at JoJo's Giggle Farm in Primm, NV next Tuesday at 4:30 pm.
The next morning, that other less attractive secretary called up and guess who answered the phone? Wes. Two times in a row. Looks like Mr. I Never Answered The Phone is on quite the roll. If this were Phone Survivor, I'd vote him off the island. Too much power! Anyway, the group shuttled off to Central Park where they met this week's George: Allan Weisselburg. It's a good thing Jen C. wasn't around anymore because with a name like Weisselburg, she'd be hard pressed to keep her brand of anti-Semitic humor to a minimum. It would be like in Who Framed Roger Rabbit when the judge kept tapping "A Shave and a Haircut", except instead of Roger Rabbit being restrained, it would be Jen, and instead of "A shave and a haircut", it would be Judaism.
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Comments (11)
"It would be like in Who Framed Roger Rabbit when the judge kept tapping "A Shave and a Haircut", except instead of Roger Rabbit being restrained, it would be Jen, and instead of "A shave and a haircut", it would be Judaism."
Insanity, and oh so right.
1 of 11 | Posted by moj | Posted on October 22, 2004 1:43 PM
Despite the fact that I'm afraid she's bite my head off after sex in a praying mantis-like fury, I'm strangely attracted to Maria.
2 of 11 | Posted by Papercuts! | Posted on October 22, 2004 1:50 PM
Can i please have that boxer wearing a caplet?
3 of 11 | Posted by Leah3t | Posted on October 22, 2004 2:10 PM
sadly there are no munchkin death songs in the "The Wizard Of Oz" or even "The Wiz" so since they're so fond of "Ding Dong" variants, how about just a chorus of "Ding Dong the lil' witch is dead"?
4 of 11 | Posted by Amanda Fan | Posted on October 22, 2004 2:15 PM
Another hilarious recap!
yes, the creator of Crustacean Nation had outdone himself.
Brilliant.
5 of 11 | Posted by freakgirl | Posted on October 22, 2004 2:52 PM
B-Side!
You have once again outdone yourself!!! This recap was frickin hilarious. Laughing my ass off at work! I think the "boardroom shocker" was that he used the word "hell" as in "What the hell is missing with you!"...now 'dem be fightin words!!! run fast Trump-ees, run fast!
Too funny: Oooh, Carolyn called Maria a 'ho. No she di'int!
And actually when Andy whined about not being able to eat his taco, was I the only one that thought this was more of a sexual comment???
These recaps you write are always so much better than the show itself! You rock B-side....
Keep up the fab work!
6 of 11 | Posted by LizLovesTARgasm | Posted on October 22, 2004 4:06 PM
Thanks Liz and everyone else.
I DID think the taco comment had some undertones to it, and i was going to make a cheese on the taco reference, but I decided to keep it moderately classy for a change.
7 of 11 | Posted by b-side | Posted on October 22, 2004 4:18 PM
If only they had dressed up "Lil Stacy" in dog costumes and had her pose with the dogs then Mosaic may have had a chance..........It would have been a nice switch from her "corporate suits" from Sears childrens wear.
(Am I the only one who thinks "Lil Stacy" and Andy would be a perfect Love Match?")
8 of 11 | Posted by Retroqueen | Posted on October 24, 2004 5:01 PM
To add to her already extremely annoying personality, L'il Stacy showed up on the today show and all but begged Katie to ask her if she was single. Even Katie didn't like her, and mocked her transparent hunt for a man. Perhaps Gary Coleman is available?
9 of 11 | Posted by Down with Stacy | Posted on October 25, 2004 8:12 AM
i would take crazy stacy j over annoying lil stacy any day. i can't believe she's a lawyer. i can't believe donald trump allowed someone who looked like a fifth grade student everybody avoided in school because she talked too much in the show.
10 of 11 | Posted by stacy r of apprentice 2 sucks | Posted on October 29, 2004 2:46 PM
Is it just me or is the Donald firing off some of his best talent. It seemed to me, since day one, that this seasons candidates dont match up to last years. We all know that Chris will probably go next week for his stupid outburst. When do we get to see Ivana get the boot?? I just hope we get to see more of Maria in a swimsuit :-)
11 of 11 | Posted by mastersonjc182 | Posted on November 5, 2004 10:56 AM