After last week's roller coaster episode of The Apprentice, I suppose we were overdue for a quiet, uneventful installment. Yes - we did get some Sweeps-tastic stunts with Bradford, Rob, crazy Stacie, and anti-Semite Jen all returning to the group, but overall, tonight's episode was rather tame. I mean, I know the idea of renovating a home is compelling television, but a) the show did this last year to more compelling effect; and b) there's a reason why we're not watching TLC at 9 PM on Thursdays. Besides, after watching Mischa Barton's stunning performance on The O.C., nothing else tonight could feel as entertaining.
The episode kicked off with the usual boardroom prognostications - this time courtesy of Wes and Maria who win the award for best joint hairstyle. When the entire Team Apex returned earlier than expected, there were the usual "Whoa!" reactions, followed by gabby dramatizations of the boardroom. Unfortunately, without the excitable zingers of little Stacy R. around anymore, this ritual had lost some of it's "Oh my Gawd!" allure.
The next morning brought the always reliable call from frumpy secretary-cum-morning beagle Rhona. Kelly was the lucky man answering the phone, which is good because last week he looked about ready to beat Andy with a tire iron after the kid snatched the Rhona call for himself. Oh Rhona. Your frizzy hair and slightly bedraggled appearance have broken so many hearts!
Anyway, the teams headed to Trump's latest real estate venture where they donned hardhats and met up with The Donald. Maria stunned all with her bright green business suit. Very pea pod chic. I particularly enjoyed seeing her in her designer coutoure being forced to wear a blue collar hard hat. There were no closeups, but I can imagine that her face was registering pure rage. If only she had a massive Little Shop of Horrors sized flower broche to balance it out!
Verdant fashion mishaps nonwithstanding, the group got down to business. Trump informed them that they would be renovating houses in Long Island (pronounced Lawnguylind) and the team which increased the property value by the highest percentage would win. Eh. I suppose this was NBC's lame attempt to cash in on the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition craze that has swept Wisconsin. Raj and Sandy - project managers for Apex and Mosaic respectively - seemed ready to hit the streets, but there was one other little twist. Trump announced that the first four fired candidates would return to assist on the mission. That's right - Rob (Crustacean Nation victim), Bradford (stupidity victim), Stacie (magic 8 ball victim), and Jen C. (two fat Jewish ladies victim) returned to pump up ratings - I mean, help out the teams with the plentiful manpower they provide.
With everyone feeling suitably awkward, Rob and Jen joined Mosaic while Stacy and Bradford joined Apex. This of course led to instant Jen babbling and more interestingly, a Stacie/Ivana catfight. Stacie told Ivana that she didn't appreciate being called, you know, crazy, and Ivana said she didn't appreciate her life being put at risk by crazy people. Now, a normal, rational person would have simply apologized to Stacie and moved on, but we sometimes forget that Ivana is a masive idiot; so instead she maintained her party line that she felt in danger when Stacie demanded people pay attention to the 8 Ball. To Ivana's credit, she was once beaten into a coma by a black woman holding a Magic 8 Ball, and when she was little, she did have recurring nightmares of giant Magic 8 Balls rolling over her and her family, so I guess her fears were somewhat justified.
Nevertheless, Stacie and Ivana's tiff did escalate into a fullscale shouting match - which was GREAT. In an interview, Stacie commented that her strategy upon returning would be "Don't blow up again." Uh, okay, so I suppose plan B is "Blow up again"?
Around this time the show cut to commercial, and when it came back, we once again received a lovely tidbit of advice from The Donald. "Control your contractor!" he bellowed. Okay, so I suppose the team with the crappy contractor will be losing this one. Thanks for the spoiler, Trump. Jerk.
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Comments (13)
Why no screencaps of The Maria Bikini?
You'd be doing me a great service, seeing as I missed the episode last night...
1 of 13 | Posted by Papercuts! | Posted on November 5, 2004 2:36 PM
Don't worry, Papercuts, I'll put one up just for you.
I'm at work though, so you'll have to wait a little.
2 of 13 | Posted by b-side | Posted on November 5, 2004 3:00 PM
Ya done good, B-Side. Even with this agonizingly boring episode. Jen C. seemed to point a finger at her flab by wrapping her sarong over her entire body. If you're too embarassed to be seen in a swimsuit, don't wear one. Hell, don't buy one.
Raj's only redeeming quality was not bringing Chris in when it was clear that Chris would have passed like Bradford. Complaining to the boss never works. The only remote scenario is someone embarassing the firm or sabotaging a big project. Best to take it outside and settle it mano a mano.
3 of 13 | Posted by Lady J | Posted on November 5, 2004 7:48 PM
has anyone seen the new Lenny Kravitz video? He's sporting a Maria inspired flower pin. Very bad.
I'm so glad to see Raj go.
4 of 13 | Posted by Leah3t | Posted on November 5, 2004 9:27 PM
"I suppose this was NBC's lame attempt to cash in on the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition craze that has swept Wisconsin."
Hey, I have never watched that dumb Extreme Makeover: Home Edition show. Don't lump all of the Wisconsinites together. I also don't like cheese and have never had beer. I guess I should move. I don't fit well here.
And you didn't bring up my favorite part of the show. When Bradford was in the boardroom he was trying to convince Trump to fire Ivana. I wonder why. LOL.
5 of 13 | Posted by Lisa | Posted on November 6, 2004 10:50 AM
Dirty Sanchez!! LOL!
6 of 13 | Posted by jaded | Posted on November 7, 2004 9:34 AM
thanks, b-side, for reminding us all that george w. bush isn't the only president who isn't afraid to pass get-out-of-jail-free-and-go-directly-back-to-your-imperial-manse cards to his dear friends (read: campaign donors). at least mark rich's sins were limited to tax evasion rather than bilking thousands of texan grandmothers out of their entire life savings. and hey--a presidential pardon is really the least you can do for a guy whose wife you've been banging while he was locked up in the joint.
ah, raj: we've come to love your subtle sense of style, your nuanced perspectives on homeland security, your suave, 'no, really, i'm not gay'-ish come-on lines to the ladies. but anyone in real estate that thinks they can raise property value in suburban middle class commuter-land by turning a 4-bedroom into a 3-bedroom needs to stick to luxury ski-resort condos.
anyone else notice the irony of raj's incident with the taco-eating sub-contractors? was it not raj a few weeks ago during the ice cream task who started whining about his blood sugar when he was told to skip breakfast and get to work?
and here's the rub: sub-contractors are pretty uncomplicated guys. all raj had to do was throw a little extra money at them, but instead he just pissed them off so much with the eye-rolling and wristwatch-tapping that they decided not only to blow off finishing the job, but also to flip raj a big middle-finger of class envy by tracking mud all over the new carpet. maybe the arrogant ass routine works in vail, but in NYC, blue collar, working-man types don't respond particularly well to condescending developers dressed in pleated linen slacks and polo shirts--unless they're throwing extra dough around.
sandy gets the credit, and though she has coasted thus far and probably would have been fired instead of jew-bashing jen had her new BFFL been smart enough to take her to the boardroom, sandy actually seemed fairly capable, and at least had the good sense to find a quiet place away from the vipers' nest to have her little breakdown. but once again, the crustacean-loving whippersnapper's ivy league ingenuity quietly enabled his team's victory. the only thing that could have made it sweeter was if big pussy and paulie walnuts showed up with some fresh t-bones from the butcher shop.
7 of 13 | Posted by jack | Posted on November 7, 2004 9:35 AM
Maria is hot, but I really prefered "Elizabeth".
*Sigh*.......
8 of 13 | Posted by TV Gasm Jr. | Posted on November 7, 2004 9:58 AM
Glad to see that pseudo-profound piece of mediocrity Raj get the axe. Time after time, I'd see bow-tied Raj deep in contemplation with hand stroking the chin as if he were about to dazzle us with some stroke of genius master plan that would cut the Gordian knot of that week's challenge. And time after time I'd get the same old empty verbiage, full of sound and fury yet signifying nothing.
9 of 13 | Posted by animadvert | Posted on November 7, 2004 11:51 PM
Rhona had a Chanel suit on, later to be returned to Loehmans.
Raj is trying so hard to show all the people who hazed him at Barney Frank's Finishing School that he is not gay, by hitting on two women and getting shown the door by both. Pamela had better odds.
Can't wait for next week when the teams go to a High School and put on a production of "Under the Rainbow" and we get the return of "little" Stacy.
Love, Mick
10 of 13 | Posted by mick | Posted on November 8, 2004 2:08 AM
The mafioso were great! I love how they fit the stereotype quite well...I guess the cigar guys were the lookout men - just in case...
11 of 13 | Posted by Crystal | Posted on November 8, 2004 8:39 AM
b-side, I feel so jilted!
12 of 13 | Posted by Papercuts! | Posted on November 8, 2004 9:49 AM
I'm sorry Papercuts, I forgot to put up the picture. In time. In time.
13 of 13 | Posted by b-side | Posted on November 8, 2004 10:16 AM