Tonight is Big Decision night on The Bachelor! We're still in St. Lucia and Jake is taking this opportunity to walk along the beach tossing pebbles into the water and pondering on how he's fallen so in love with two completely different women.

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Welcome back to The Bachelor! Here we are in St. Lucia, which, just like San Francisco, is the perfect place to fall in love according to Jake. He goes over who he's got left with us.

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Oh boy, here we are at The Bachelor Hometown Dates, which Jake seems to think will serve as a crystal ball into each girl's soul and her relationship intentions. In reality, we will be visiting places which may or may not actually be these people's homes to sit down to catered dinners that each mom "prepared" and ask and answer a list of pre-approved questions that illuminate absolutely nothing. The only thing that changes from season to season is the scenery, and that's not even too interesting. Let's do it.

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Hello beloved readers! Since you guys are my bestest cyber friends, I wanted to tell you the big news. I got engaged this week! My bachelorette days are over (almost). My Bachelor days, however, appear to be never ending. We've got another doozy tonight!

Tonight on The Bachelor the remaining ladies have been consolidated onto one of the RVs to coast into San Francisco at each others' throats. Did you know that Jake sending home four girls last week is really proving to Princess Tenley that he is dead serious about finding love? Mean Ali thinks she owns this leg of the journey since she lives in San Francisco. Jake tells us that next week are the Hometown Dates so this week he has to figure out whose parents he wants to meet. Meeting the parents takes the relationship to a whole new level, m'kay? Yes, especially a fake relationship that invades the parents' home with a camera crew of 25.

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Morning girls! It's three in the afternoon, time to rise and shine - Chris Harrison is here with some shocking news! And he's all casual today. No purple, no mourning clothes. I guess it's back to business as usual on The Bachelor. Or is it?

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Okay I have to tell you guys about this week's recap of The Bachelor. I'm sure you're over my sob stories, but I have one more. I was about three fourths of the way through recapping this episode using Microsoft Word, when all of a sudden the program froze, then came back with my document in Chinese letters. It was just like that episode of Sex and the City when that happened to Carrie. Exactly. I tried EVERYTHING. I tried to auto recover, I tried to change the font, I went through the Microsoft tech support steps, and nothing worked. My recap was gone. So I cried. I cried like I was Jake. I cried to Flipit via email and I cried to my friends on the phone and in person. Nothing brought the recap back. I was so upset I wanted to skip this episode. Or resign. Or smash my computer. Or all of the above. But I somehow managed to pull it together and start over. I have no idea if this version is as good as the first, if it's way better, or if it even matters. I guess we'll never know. I hope it will do!

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Welcome back to The Bachelor, Season 1,400 "It's Got To Work Sometime!" Or as ABC would rather call it, "On the Wings of Love." I assumed that was a song, but wasn't familiar with it, so tonight's episode presented me with an exciting treat, how about you? Of course, the only thing worth mentioning about this episode is the scandal that broke during the last half hour, but we're going to have to sift through the first three dates before we get to that - and they're all been-there, done-that dates as far as this show goes, but I'll discuss them succinctly anyway. Would you guys even notice if I just pulled up one of the recaps from Mayo, Brad or Jason's season and changed the names? I bet Chris Harrison wouldn't even know the difference.

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Hey, do you guys remember JAKE from Jillian's season of The Bachelorette? He was that airline pilot who was totally intense, fell in love in one date, came back after being kicked off to tattle-tell on Wes for having a girlfriend, then had a tearful hissy fit over a hotel balcony - remember? Well, because his Bachelorette antics proved to be a stellar audition for the role of The Bachelor, ABC bought in and Jake is back to find himself some love! Because he is a commercial pilot and back in the 60's that was sexy (okay it's still sexy, just not as romanticized - plus Captain Sully is ushering in a new era of pilot worship) this season has been dubbed "The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love." Try not to puke.

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Wow, where to start with the latest installation of The Bachelor? Tonight Jason Mesnick blew up in America's face and left grody little pieces of himself all over our TV screens. Let's get started.

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Hello beloved fans of The Bachelor! As you may or may not know, this last week some rumors started circulating on the interweb involving a Bachelor scandal of epic proportions. I have no idea if the rumors are true and I have no idea if I care if the rumors are true. I don't want to post any spoilers, so I'm just going to keep talking about what ABC deems us so lucky as to view. The truth will come out... eventually... and we'll all have a good laugh when it does. Now off to New Zealand!

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