Mean Girls - 
by copygodd
This week's episode of The Bachelor had it all: good, bad and ugly. The good? It was a rare one-hour episode. The bad? It was a "reunion" show. The ugly? The behavior of the dumped ho-pefuls. Plus, is it just me, or is the whole idea of having a reunion show before the show is actually over more than a little weird? Can you imagine The Probst hosting a reunion before he tallied the votes for the final time? I believe he'd kick Mark Burnett squarely in the jimmies before agreeing to do something as stupid as that.
Unfortunately, Host Chris Harrison is no Jeff Probst. Hell, he's not even a Paige Davis. So of course he got right to it, telling us this is the most talked about season…ever. And tonight will be the most he's talked in an episode… ever. Lucky us. Next, he reintroduces us to the bevy of bounced B'ettes. All of them wave to the camera with their right hand, except SaraH-eh?, who uses her left. I told you Canadians were weird. Although, knowing her, it's probably because she was holding a blunt in her right.
Next, Host Chris Harrison asks some of the women for their first impressions of Dr. Travis Stork. Jen says he was chiseled and made out of stone. But enough about his personality. Remember that, because it's the last nice thing you'll hear Jen say for the next 50 minutes. Either Jen's riding the "cranky hanky" (my wife's words, not mine), or she's just a camera-hogging biatch. My money's on the latter.
Don't you ever shut up?
Since Susan was the last ho-peful cut, she gets the first visit to the Hot Seat. The interview goes something like this:
Host Chris Harrison: "Everyone seems to be questioning everything about you. So, were you acting?"
Susan: "Of course not. I can't believe you would even ask me something like that. Although if I were, how would you rate my performance?"
HCR: "Even your mom said she thought you were acting. How did that make you feel?"
Susan: "Hold on a second." (Mutters to herself) "Think about dead puppies, think about dead puppies…" (To HCR) "How did it make me feel? Sad. Very sad. Can't you tell by my very real and authentic tears of sadness?"
HCR: "So, everything you said you felt about Travis, that was all real? You weren't acting?"
Susan: "Of course I wasn't acting. I really, really was falling in… Oh shit… Line? Wait, can we do that take again?"
Yup, still ugly.
During Susan's speech, there are audible giggles from the crowd. It's actually pretty funny. Host Chris Harrison opens the floor to questions, and then the real hilarity gets to ensuing. Someone (I'm not sure who) asks Susan if she though this would be a vehicle to get where she needed to be. Susan tells her whatever vehicle gets her to professional happiness, that's what she wants. Ironically, those are the same vows Tom Cruise plans on using at his upcoming nuptials. Two anonymous B'ettes try to come to Susan's defense.
Anonymous B'ette 1: "This is horrible. I don't even know you that well…"
Jen: (Interrupting) "That's why you can't say that much."
Anonymous B'ette 2: "You should show Susan some respect."
Jen: "Don't say anything to me. I don't even know your name."
At that, Host Chris Harrison jumps in and tells the "guys" to stop it. He then turns to Susan and asks why is she crying? What a stupid question. Didn't he hear her talking about the dead puppies?
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