Cousin Larry says that both of her boyfriends moved to Portland for her. But PBo don't play that. So if she wants to be a Princess, she's gonna have to leave Hippytown. PBo says he's not trying to put her in a trap, but really he is. In fact, his whole operation tonight was more than a little reminiscent of how the Gipper trapped Russia in a spending cycle that ultimately brought down the Iron Curtain. So will PBo's strategy also bring down the Iron Curtain surrounding Comrade Lisa's cooter? Does Boris Yeltsin's nose glow redder than a Chernobyl fuel rod?
(Ir)regardless, PBo still offers Comrade Lisa the key to the fantasy suite. And of course she accepts. After all, it's her last chance to save the date. And the future of her ovaries. Talking about how awkward dinner was and how insecure it made her feel isn't exactly helping her cause, though. PBo was glad to see her a little shaken today, though, as she's always been so confident in the past. Hopefully that confidence will carry over into the boudoir.
Commies need love too.
Comrade Lisa sums the evening up best, saying that while they had some tough times early in the day at Budapest, at the end of the night there was definitely romance. Yeah, he totally hit that.
The final date is with The Virgin in Sicily. She tells us that she's really excited about it. She's really missed PBo, and she's craving some one-on-one time. But there is that whole hymen thing. Remember, she is a virgin, and she's saving herself for marriage. And in the back of her mind, she just keeps thinking about what's going to happen when he pulls out his fantasy key. Kids today are so funny. Who knew that "fantasy key" was code for "cock"? Besides The Virgin, of course. Maybe it's Virginese.
The Virgin attempts an "Oh face."
PBo tells us that when she got out of the car, no words could describe how happy he was that they were going to be alone. Except maybe happy, I guess. He can see himself falling in love with The Virgin because everything he's seen about her, he's liked. Except her cooter. But since it should be free from open sores, he's pretty sure he'll like it too.
The Virgin tells us she knows that PBo's already been on two other dates this week. And since the other girls aren't virgins, she's not sure what they did. Which is her nice virginly way of calling them whores. She hates thinking about it, though, because it really makes her horny.
LBo has declared this date to be "Sadie Day and Night." But that hasn't stopped him from scheduling his favorite pastime: scuba diving. He tells her not to worry, though. He'll make sure she's not bitten by a shark. Unless of course she's menstruating, in which case all bets are off. Actually, he says she won't get bitten by a shark because they're scuba diving in a swimming pool. Wow. Be still my beating heart.
After a few hard minutes of pool scuba, it's time for a massage, which The Virgin says is just another in a long list of firsts for her. She's experiencing a whole bunch of new things right now, and it's making her a little nervous. Not to mention moist. PBo says he was nervous, but then he pulled one off right before the date started. Besides, what does he have to be nervous about? He's a friggin' prince!
After their professional massages, it's time for amateur hour. Yeah, giving each other a massage will make it totally easy for them to honor The Virgin's vow of chastity.
Later, he tells us that while he loves everything about The Virgin, he is a little nervous about how they'll respond to each other behind closed doors. Can they have a chemistry together? Will he break the seal? And of course she's still nervous about what happens when he offers her the fantasy card? Will it hurt him if she declines? Blueballs says what?
During dinner, all The Virgin can think about is the fantasy card. It means a lot, because in case you haven't heard, she's saving herself for marriage. And this isn't something that she usually does, and she doesn't want PBo to get the wrong idea about her. So, if she turns him down, she's frigid. And if she bones him, she's can't keep a simple promise to herself. Talk about a real Sadie's choice.
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Comments (14)
The "WWACD?" portion of the recap brought a huge grin to this liberal's face. Thanks copygodd!! Go Dems! Six in "06!!
1 of 14 | Posted by unwise
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Posted on November 15, 2006 2:35 PM
Aww, Copygodd, are you scared of clowns?
HB got a shout out. I'm jealous.
2 of 14 | Posted by Karo
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Posted on November 15, 2006 2:55 PM
cg - I suppose you think that just b/c you make me laugh, give me some incredible movie/tv/music references (i.e. Cosmo's moon!), use the term 'douchenozzle' AND give me a personal shout out that I will worship at your altar?
You Are Correct Sir!
'an appreciation for hardcore bukkake' - I did not realize there is a soft-core version.
'his whole operation tonight was more than a little reminiscent of how the Gipper trapped Russia in a spending cycle that ultimately brought down the Iron Curtain' - yea, who would have thought that the fatal flaw of Communism was the fact that there was no money in it?!
So glad Tree Hugger has been axed (Ha - get it?!). Rooting for Sadie the V and her getting preggers the first time he inserts peepee (unless he is wearing a Pronto Condom).
Damn cg - I was really looking forward to you doing the Reunion show and the return of Whorica. Maybe you could just post a little sum-sum in the forums...
hb
3 of 14 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on November 15, 2006 3:29 PM
I'm jealous that HB got a shout out too b/c you KNOW I care cgodd. Sheesh! What's a girl gotta do?
I should ask Sadie b/c I think that V-girl is gonna win this whole thing. Who would a Prince rather bring home to mama and papa? A cute blonde with a gun-toting dad, or a cute virgin? I bet if he proposes on the final show, she'll let him go all the way before the wedding. I'm so glad that Lisa got booted. She'll make for good TV in the Women Tell All episode next week. I was jealous of that wine festival date though. I think mrs. copygodd has the right idea when it comes to snagging your man! :)
4 of 14 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:18 PM
Ooh cgodd, with the announcement of the exit of EdHill, you are now my FAVE recapper. Try and go visit the bonobos when you're in Columbus, and say "Hi" from me.
5 of 14 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:22 PM
Well, if you're not going to be recapping then I don't know if I'll even bother to watch - this show or House!
I like Sadie the best but I don't want her to end up with this doofus.
6 of 14 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
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Posted on November 15, 2006 5:46 PM
hey Copygodd! I care, I care! so far for me you haven't topped "Irony, thy name is Lisa from Galveston" or whatever her name was but you are rocking out the bachelor recaps - i'm only watching it now for these. thanks!
7 of 14 | Posted by lynnenyc
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Posted on November 15, 2006 7:50 PM
"That's how mrs. copygodd knew she'd get me to say yes to her marriage proposal. Although it took four days of heavy drinking to break me down." Funny, I would have thought it was you getting mrs. copygodd drunk in order say yes. Who knew? While I hope you have a good visit, I will miss your wit. Just promise it's not permanent like that bastard, EdHill so my cooter can perk up again.
8 of 14 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on November 15, 2006 9:18 PM
If begging EdHIll to come back in 13 weeks for Lost is unsuccessful, I think copygodd should do those recaps. See-we all love you!
I'm thinking if I get a chance to go to Sweden, I am not going to some lame-ass amusement park. They can do that shit in Florida.
I thought all that Lisa stuff was misdirection and that he was going to pick her. They always get me. And it looks like they're setting it up so we all think he is picking Sadie when he is actually picking Jennifer. Unless he ends up picking Sadie. Sigh.
9 of 14 | Posted by Victoria
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Posted on November 15, 2006 10:36 PM
I really wanted to know how Sadie answered the million dollar question -- "would you move to NY?" (He must have asked her.) We all know relocation is the dealbreaker.
I also think both "finalists" are too young for him. They're both too fresh faced and clueless for this geez.
10 of 14 | Posted by c-rock
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Posted on November 16, 2006 9:44 AM
CopyGodd, I can't believe we've yet to see one "PASSION" reference from you thus far this season. They're classic CopyGoddisms don't you know.
Can you (or anyone) remind me how Comrade Lisa got her name?
11 of 14 | Posted by Love Gravy
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Posted on November 16, 2006 9:51 AM
Copygod - you are awesome.
I loved the scuba diving in the pool where he acted like he was such the expert showing Sadie how to blow (hee hee) into the tube.
PLo is the ultimate tool (in Comrade Lisa's words). First, he's 34 and has narrowed his search to a 23 and 24-year-old.
Second, as much as I hated Comrade Lisa, he is such a hypocrite. God forbid she signed up for the show to be on television, or doesn't want to move to New York.
Methinks it's the pot calling the kettle black.
Plus, WHO CARES if he has a title of Italian Prince and doesn't even speak the language.
But, whatever, he'll never make it down the aisle with whomever he chooses.
12 of 14 | Posted by gasm-lover
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Posted on November 16, 2006 4:29 PM
gasm-lover everything you said is so true... I cannot stand this goofy dude. If these girls saw him in a bar they wouldn't give him the time of day. I think Jennifer's gonna win just because everyone thinks Sadie is gonna win. They like to do that to us. Have fun in C-bus... GO BUCKS!!!! Beat UM
13 of 14 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on November 17, 2006 2:32 PM
Very funny!
check out more on The Bachelor here
14 of 14 | Posted by GnomeCorp
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Posted on November 22, 2006 11:16 AM