The Virgin tells PBo that this is different than any other relationship she's been in, because he's mature and smart and makes her feel really good about herself. Plus he's not always trying get in her pants. Which she would totally let him do, if it weren't for that whole virginity thing.
PBo is blown away by how much The Virgin has opened up to him. And it makes him feel guilty about how little he's opened up to her. She asks him what he really wants. His answer is a bunch of douchenozzle nonsense that I zoned out during. But whatever he said must have worked, because you can totally tell that The Virgin's panties just melted.
To bone or not to bone, that is the question.
So overwhelmed is she by her lack of underwear, The Virgin excuses herself from the table. She really needs PBo to know who she is and that she's a classy conservative woman and that if she accepts this fantasy card it's a really big deal. You know, it's times like this a classy conservative woman could use a role model. Perhaps The Virgin should ask herself WWACD? (What Would Ann Coulter Do?) Unfortunately, since Ann Coulter is actually a man who solves every problem by writing his name in the snow, he's probably not the best role model for The Virgin.
The Virgin blathers on to LZo about how nerve-wracking the whole fantasy suite decision is. And he hasn't even asked her yet. You can tell he's as sick of hearing about it as I am writing about it. Finally, he just tells her to stop. He gets it. He likes classy conservative women. That's why he's attracted to her. And that's why he's going to offer her the fantasy suite key. But there's no pressure if she accepts it. They can just talk and cuddle all night long. And then they can take turns squatting to pee, doing each other's makeup and then maybe hitting each other with their purses.
Unbelievably, she buys it. Who knew that telling a girl what they wanted to hear actually worked? See, TV does teach you things.
Shouldn't Sadie be the one wearing white?
Finally, it's time for the rose ceremony. And tonight's lone sighting of Host Chris Harrison. Compared to seasons past, he's been really absent this time around. I hope they're not phasing him out.
Anyway, after some serious deliberating and pontificating, PZo must send someone home. But before he does that, he has to make another speech. He tells the B'ettes that he can't say any one time with any one girl over the past week has been better than another. Although if he had to pick one, the time he spent not sleeping with The Virgin would probably be it.
"It's not me, it's you."
So, does that mean The Virgin is going home? Nope, Comrade Lisa is given the iron boot. Needless to say, she is both shocked and awed. She tries to argue her point with PBo in the foyer, but like perestroika, it's too little, too late. Ah well, there's always The Bachelor: Cuba.
So, what do you think of Cousin Larry's decision? Did he keep the right B'ettes? Or should he have kept the sure thing in Comrade Lisa? And who do you think he'll end up choosing?
Next week is a special reunion show. Unfortunately, I'll be back home in C-bus visiting the fam so I won't be able to recap it. Same thing with next week's episode of House. But I will be back in time to cover the season finale in two weeks. In case anyone besides Honey Bunny cares.
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Comments (14)
The "WWACD?" portion of the recap brought a huge grin to this liberal's face. Thanks copygodd!! Go Dems! Six in "06!!
1 of 14 | Posted by unwise
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Posted on November 15, 2006 2:35 PM
Aww, Copygodd, are you scared of clowns?
HB got a shout out. I'm jealous.
2 of 14 | Posted by Karo
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Posted on November 15, 2006 2:55 PM
cg - I suppose you think that just b/c you make me laugh, give me some incredible movie/tv/music references (i.e. Cosmo's moon!), use the term 'douchenozzle' AND give me a personal shout out that I will worship at your altar?
You Are Correct Sir!
'an appreciation for hardcore bukkake' - I did not realize there is a soft-core version.
'his whole operation tonight was more than a little reminiscent of how the Gipper trapped Russia in a spending cycle that ultimately brought down the Iron Curtain' - yea, who would have thought that the fatal flaw of Communism was the fact that there was no money in it?!
So glad Tree Hugger has been axed (Ha - get it?!). Rooting for Sadie the V and her getting preggers the first time he inserts peepee (unless he is wearing a Pronto Condom).
Damn cg - I was really looking forward to you doing the Reunion show and the return of Whorica. Maybe you could just post a little sum-sum in the forums...
hb
3 of 14 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on November 15, 2006 3:29 PM
I'm jealous that HB got a shout out too b/c you KNOW I care cgodd. Sheesh! What's a girl gotta do?
I should ask Sadie b/c I think that V-girl is gonna win this whole thing. Who would a Prince rather bring home to mama and papa? A cute blonde with a gun-toting dad, or a cute virgin? I bet if he proposes on the final show, she'll let him go all the way before the wedding. I'm so glad that Lisa got booted. She'll make for good TV in the Women Tell All episode next week. I was jealous of that wine festival date though. I think mrs. copygodd has the right idea when it comes to snagging your man! :)
4 of 14 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:18 PM
Ooh cgodd, with the announcement of the exit of EdHill, you are now my FAVE recapper. Try and go visit the bonobos when you're in Columbus, and say "Hi" from me.
5 of 14 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:22 PM
Well, if you're not going to be recapping then I don't know if I'll even bother to watch - this show or House!
I like Sadie the best but I don't want her to end up with this doofus.
6 of 14 | Posted by Bauer's Sweetheart
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Posted on November 15, 2006 5:46 PM
hey Copygodd! I care, I care! so far for me you haven't topped "Irony, thy name is Lisa from Galveston" or whatever her name was but you are rocking out the bachelor recaps - i'm only watching it now for these. thanks!
7 of 14 | Posted by lynnenyc
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Posted on November 15, 2006 7:50 PM
"That's how mrs. copygodd knew she'd get me to say yes to her marriage proposal. Although it took four days of heavy drinking to break me down." Funny, I would have thought it was you getting mrs. copygodd drunk in order say yes. Who knew? While I hope you have a good visit, I will miss your wit. Just promise it's not permanent like that bastard, EdHill so my cooter can perk up again.
8 of 14 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on November 15, 2006 9:18 PM
If begging EdHIll to come back in 13 weeks for Lost is unsuccessful, I think copygodd should do those recaps. See-we all love you!
I'm thinking if I get a chance to go to Sweden, I am not going to some lame-ass amusement park. They can do that shit in Florida.
I thought all that Lisa stuff was misdirection and that he was going to pick her. They always get me. And it looks like they're setting it up so we all think he is picking Sadie when he is actually picking Jennifer. Unless he ends up picking Sadie. Sigh.
9 of 14 | Posted by Victoria
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Posted on November 15, 2006 10:36 PM
I really wanted to know how Sadie answered the million dollar question -- "would you move to NY?" (He must have asked her.) We all know relocation is the dealbreaker.
I also think both "finalists" are too young for him. They're both too fresh faced and clueless for this geez.
10 of 14 | Posted by c-rock
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Posted on November 16, 2006 9:44 AM
CopyGodd, I can't believe we've yet to see one "PASSION" reference from you thus far this season. They're classic CopyGoddisms don't you know.
Can you (or anyone) remind me how Comrade Lisa got her name?
11 of 14 | Posted by Love Gravy
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Posted on November 16, 2006 9:51 AM
Copygod - you are awesome.
I loved the scuba diving in the pool where he acted like he was such the expert showing Sadie how to blow (hee hee) into the tube.
PLo is the ultimate tool (in Comrade Lisa's words). First, he's 34 and has narrowed his search to a 23 and 24-year-old.
Second, as much as I hated Comrade Lisa, he is such a hypocrite. God forbid she signed up for the show to be on television, or doesn't want to move to New York.
Methinks it's the pot calling the kettle black.
Plus, WHO CARES if he has a title of Italian Prince and doesn't even speak the language.
But, whatever, he'll never make it down the aisle with whomever he chooses.
12 of 14 | Posted by gasm-lover
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Posted on November 16, 2006 4:29 PM
gasm-lover everything you said is so true... I cannot stand this goofy dude. If these girls saw him in a bar they wouldn't give him the time of day. I think Jennifer's gonna win just because everyone thinks Sadie is gonna win. They like to do that to us. Have fun in C-bus... GO BUCKS!!!! Beat UM
13 of 14 | Posted by couchpotato
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Posted on November 17, 2006 2:32 PM
Very funny!
check out more on The Bachelor here
14 of 14 | Posted by GnomeCorp
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Posted on November 22, 2006 11:16 AM