Hello beloved readers! Since you guys are my bestest cyber friends, I wanted to tell you the big news. I got engaged this week! My bachelorette days are over (almost). My Bachelor days, however, appear to be never ending. We've got another doozy tonight!
Tonight on The Bachelor the remaining ladies have been consolidated onto one of the RVs to coast into San Francisco at each others' throats. Did you know that Jake sending home four girls last week is really proving to Princess Tenley that he is dead serious about finding love? Mean Ali thinks she owns this leg of the journey since she lives in San Francisco. Jake tells us that next week are the Hometown Dates so this week he has to figure out whose parents he wants to meet. Meeting the parents takes the relationship to a whole new level, m'kay? Yes, especially a fake relationship that invades the parents' home with a camera crew of 25.
Wiener tells us about the hotel they're staying in and why do I always get the feeling that her teeth are too big for her mouth and get in the way when she's talking? Annoying.
There will be three one-on-one dates this week and one two-on-one - but no roses up for grabs. Why did Jake give me this information instead of Chris Harrison? I want a refund. Jake tosses a Date Card onto the table in the girls' room and quickly leaves. It's for Princess Tenley. "Let's get our love on track in San Francisco." Gee, do you think they'll go on a trolley? I doubt it because this show isn't big on obvious clichés.
Just now Princess Tenley's occupation flashes up and it says College Admissions. Riiiiiight. Unless she's running the College of Freaky Body Contortions I call bogus. I guess this is the first one-on-one Princess Tenley has had, so she has a hot flash and threatens to go into cardiac arrest.
Were you aware that Princess Tenley has not had feelings for anyone since her ex-husband, but she has a lot of love to give? How many times are they going to prompt her to deliver that line in various interviews? She and Jake get a private "trolley" to ride around in that is actually a bus. It has rubber tires and does not run on a track, so there goes Jake's clever Date Card.
What else are we being lied to about? Let's see, Jake is not actually a pilot, he's an actor. He really met Princess Tenley when he was working as Goofy at Tokyo Disney. And speaking of the Orient, the not-trolley drops our Disney Duo off in China Town. They try some suckling pig and then get to write their own fortunes for fortune cookies. Isn't San Francisco the ideal place to fall in love? Apparently so because Jake tells us he's falling for Princess Tenley.
Meanwhile a Date Card is arriving to make the girls mad. Corrie reads "Ali and Wiener: Come be the queens in my castle." Mean Ali announces that she feels sick right now. Why would SHE, resident of San Francisco, be forced to share a date? Why?
Oh what's this? Corrie was only joking! The date is really for Gia and Wiener. After Mean Ali profusely expresses her great relief, Wiener gets up to leave. She says she can't believe how mean Mean Ali was at the last Rose Ceremony when she was so shocked that Wiener got a rose. Mean Ali goes, "That had nothing to do with YOU." Okay, that's enough of this. It obviously had EVERYTHING to do with Wiener. So much so that Mean Ali is planning a serious talk with Jake that he doesn't expect.
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Comments (11)
Congrats on the engagements, HG! :)
I have to admit, I stopped watching this season after week 2, I think...but I DID watch this last episode to to bad tv scheduling.
Anyway, I have 3 observations.
1) Ali looks like a young Jessica Simpson when she was only dating her future hubby.
2) Gia post surgery looks a tad like Jennifer Lopez when she has her hair down.
3) Vienna is seriously awful. It grabbed me right away, and ALL of those women can't be wrong.
I think it's funny that Jake said Gia is the most insecure bachelorette, and he still have Vienna around. Hm He must be really whipped and can't see what's right in front of him.
Blech.
Thanks for the recap, HG!
1 of 11 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on February 5, 2010 2:41 PM
Oh, and one more thing.
I read this, but must've been hiding my eyes in total embarrassment over watching this mess -
Did anyone else see Jake wipe his lips after Vienna kissed him in bed?
Apparently, there's video out there, if anyone really wants to check it out.
2 of 11 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on February 5, 2010 2:46 PM
I'm guessing the future Mr. Gangsta understands that he'll be forced to watch future seasons of the Bachelor? What? That wasn't in the pre-nup?
Anyway, this show is weird. I mean, usually in a competition you're rooting for someone to win. But in this one, I'm rooting for the best gal (Gia~ I just met a girl named Gia~ ) to lose. And for Wiener to 'win', which will be losing. What a repulsive trollop.
Although I'm really disappointed that Gia's post-surgery. Please tell me the tits are real at least? What a shame. It's so disappointing to find out there's something fake about this show.
3 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 5, 2010 4:06 PM
Congrats, Honey G!!!! That's so great for you, and so glad you still took time out for your little gasmi!
I wish I could go back a page while I comment, coz I forgot what I was going to quote, but yo, you're making the best out of this snore fest you can.
Didn't see again, zzzzz, but have read the caps etc . . . so incredibly dry. Not sure what to think of these chicks . . . Ali seems the most in a competition, Weiner seems very sure of herself, Corrie--is that what a virgin looks like, coulda fooled me! -- Gia, don't know what to think , but natural certainly wasn't one of the choices (sorry itchy, it's those lips . . . ) and lastly PT, zzzzz, to me, she seems the best match for him, a perfect yin to his vapid yang.
Sometimes home dates can have a few laughs, may watch a little . . . and I'm a bit curious to see Weiner's and Ali's home situations . . . who will leave Jake!? AAAAAH, I forget if Reality Steve said . . . . just as well, I suppose, and RS, that is some boring rambling bullshit . . . edit!
Congrats again to you and the future Mr. Gangsta!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
4 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on February 5, 2010 4:49 PM
When y'all say Gia is post-op... you don't mean she was previously a dude, right? Clearly she's had a nosejob, at least since the Maxim shoot. She already had the boobs for that, though, so if they're fake it was a previous surgery.
Considering the honker on Vienna (the name Weiner is a great play on the Austrian, btw) I don't think Gia'd have any problem if she'd kept the original. Speaking of fake, US Weekly is saying that while Weiner's then-husband was stationed in Iraq, she took out his last $5K to buy a boob job.
Ali is smart to keep her trap shut about Weiner - she's sent scouts ahead (like Jessie) and they've all been slaughtered. The second she has that "big" conversation with Jake she's gone.
5 of 11 | Posted by melange | Posted on February 5, 2010 6:17 PM
Go ahead, crush my dreams.
One of the hottest reality show gals in a long time, and she turns out to be mostly plastic.
Sniff.
6 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on February 6, 2010 2:57 AM
Other things Weepy Fake Pilot had in common with Princess Tenley: They both like getting dressed up and going out or just staying in with a movie; they like all kinds of music (except rap! LOL!), and they don't like or play games, or the people who do.
7 of 11 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on February 6, 2010 5:21 AM
CONGRATS HoneyG!!!
Well I guess that sort of answered my question...at least or all those ho's, Corry was a bible basher - which I assume Jake is. But all those girls are Jesus freaks like him? Ali, a devout Christian, really?
I was in the supermarket the other night and saw Jake on the cover of USWeekly...off to go read that - very sad, indeed, I know.
8 of 11 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on February 6, 2010 12:21 PM
btw...HoneyG...LOVE your caption this week.
9 of 11 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on February 7, 2010 7:51 AM
OMFG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
then on top of this, seeing all the rumors of who wins??? ARE YOU FRAKIN KIDDING ME????
This guy deserves everything he gets....frackin douchetard...
10 of 11 | Posted by pappy44 | Posted on February 8, 2010 10:41 AM
Ack, no spoilers, please! I'm trying to be good this year and not look...
11 of 11 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on February 8, 2010 1:31 PM