"To the Dizzy Rooster, Jeeves!"
Well I celebrated too soon. Just when I congratulated myself on only having to recap an hour-long show this season, ABC went and stretched The Bachelor back out to an hour and a half. 60 minutes of air time just wasn't enough for the girls to parade around acting jealous and catty, or for Brad to display what an honest, caring, uneducated guy he really is. So here we are back at the Mansion of Desperation with Chris Harrison explaining that this week there will be two group dates, each with a rose at stake, and one single date, where the lucky participant will either get a rose or a kick in the pants. The girls will find out who's going where as the Date Boxes arrive. Oh look at this, a date box has already arrived! McCarten reads out who is invited and earns herself the nickname McTan Lines due to some apparent falling asleep by the pool - in a halter swimsuit. The first group to flaunt their shame will be: Stephy, McTan Lines, Portfolio Jenni, Lindsey the Model, Sarah, and DeAnna. The encrypted note reads: "Join me for an afternoon at the greatest show on earth. -Brad." They all squeal and dig into the box, pulling out what looks like mostly clown wear. One girl gets a clown cookie - lucky! DeAnna tells us that she's excited because she hasn't been to the circus since she was little. There's a reason for that, DeAnna. Lindsey's excited too, but worried that some of the others might have stronger bonds with Brad already. Uh oh, it's time to go to the circus in your underwear and highlight the only thing you have to offer, Lindsey.
In the limo on the way over, Brad says that this will be a participatory date, and he tells us that he's bringing them to the circus because he wants to see the inner child in each of them. Oh no. If he dares to say that he's just a big kid, ABC is going to be the recipient of a nasty letter campaign spearheaded by yours truly. Nice reason, Brad, but you're taking them to the circus because that's what the producers arranged. First stop at the circus is to feed an elephant some bread. Sarah starts acting like this is the most spectacular thing she's ever done and asks if the elephant is "really outgoing." It's an elephant, Sarah, not a candidate for student body president. The elephant answers her question by blowing its nose on her. Outgoing enough for you?
"Excuse me, I thought you were a giant tissue."
Brad takes the girls to a special box, just like they had at the racetrack, and then they get to come down into the empty arena and explore the circus behind the scenes. I'm starting to worry that this might be one of those Bachelor tricks where they pretend to go to an event, but end up just visiting the venue - like when the Prince Pet Beautician took that girl to the "opera" and they just sat in the empty theater eating dinner. Some hired musicians eventually serenaded them, but it was no opera - and he was no prince. Will this be the case with the circus as well?
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Comments (8)
Ah, good stuff!
Would someone please tell me why McCarten and Jade are still in this? Is there ever a moment when Jade isn't smirking or glaring? Ugh, and McCarten is just dreadful!
My vote is also for DeAnna.
And on a side note...Did anyone see the article on Mayo being sent to Iraq? He leaves in January, and apparently, this is why they ended their engagement.
Ummmm...what's-her-name was dating a military man...did she NOT see the possibility beforehand???
1 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 11, 2007 4:42 PM
Great recap, Honey!
Yes, in my neck o' the woods (California), I have heard those little chocolate sprinkles called "jimmys", too.
I LOVED that Sheena laughed at Brad and Chad's names!
Thank God that Ho-lisa is gone...her sluttiness vs. her "morales" was getting so old.
Once again, fabulous job, Honey!
2 of 8 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on October 11, 2007 4:48 PM
Brad is the best Bachelor yet. He actually laughs and doesn't seem like he is reading lines the whole time.
The only way I could see the girls not realizing it was Brad was if they were very very drunk. Chad and Brad were very different.
3 of 8 | Posted by jmportia | Posted on October 11, 2007 11:40 PM
I forgot to ask in my first post, but does Brad remind anyone of Dr. Phil? I swear his voice sounds just like him!!!!
But, I agree...he really is the best bachelor this show has had.
He just seems real.
4 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 12, 2007 7:55 AM
I haven't watched the bachelor in YEARS...maybe since the 3rd season. I happned by your recap and you made me laugh so hard, I went to the ABC.com full episode viewer, watched the 3 shows thus far, and read all your recaps. FAB-U-LOUS snarky.
My observations on this double-your-pleasure-double-your-fun (I can write such a corny thing, as I Am A Twin, too. And have had to deal with corny crap like that spewed at my my whole life!) segment.
~ I agree with post #1. McCArtan and Jade MUST GO. Jade is a fairly unattractive Biatch, and McCartan should have been history after her ill fated, unwanted, poorly timed kiss way back when.
~ Did anyonre else notice that BRAD had a clearly visable tan line where his wedding ring previously resided??!!
~ Good riddance Solisa....who claims to be an "Esthetician". My A$$ She is defintely a stripper. Her "special parts" are her fake boobs and collagen lips. That parting speach was a classic. What a knucklehead.
~ Please, Brad.....DON'T SAVE THE CHEERLEADER
5 of 8 | Posted by Farrell100 | Posted on October 13, 2007 1:11 PM
Great recap. I'm glad that you noticed McTan Lines' shocked facial expression when the BradandChad "twins" came out. So Chad's stupid, basically. We have him to thank for McCanteen still being in the race, because Brad's ego booted out everyone that couldn't tell the difference between him and his brother. Who would've thought a guy (who obviously spends hours in a gym) wants to be loved for qualities other than his looks - especially a guy who's on a dating show choosing between 25 bachelorettes without a piggy or extremely unattractive girl in the bunch.
Boooooo Jade! Thank God she won't be getting a rose in the next show (I'm psychic).
My prediction: Jenni and Deanna will be the final two.
6 of 8 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 13, 2007 3:23 PM
Sheena reminds me of the mom from Friday Night Lights, so I like her. i doubt she will last though.
Its annoying that Brad likes Jenni, what the? Anyone is better than McCarten though, please.
By the way I'm in love with your recaps,"the clowns hang their heads in shame" sweet.
7 of 8 | Posted by trivial | Posted on October 13, 2007 4:56 PM
The bachelor has this going for him (and I knock on wood as I say it cause it might just happen in the very next episode) - he hasn't yet set up "challenges" to "win him" by doing retarded things like drink mixing contests and other totally irrelevant activities that comprise his interest. Like that stupid idiot Mayo who made the women run around in a bikini doing a tri-athalon. UGH! Infuriating.
My money is on Jenni too. And her scrapbook..hahah
8 of 8 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on October 16, 2007 12:44 PM