Brad has written her a sonnet: "You just get dressed, I'll take care of the rest. -Brad." She pulls out from the Date Box a black sparkly dress and some trinkets representing San Francisco. In the middle of her dance of glee, Jade rains all over her, saying, "Are you nervous? You COULD go home." Daaaang, girl. Way to ruin Hillary's one-woman party. Hillary just keeps dancing and Jade raises her eyebrows in very snotty way. Maybe at this week's cocktail party she'll tell Brad that "some people" do dances when they find out they're going on a one-on-one date, not to name names.
And over at the circus, the daters have to participate in a little clown number, which eternally endears Brad to the girls - he did get up, put on a funny hat, and dance in front of the whole circus crowd, after all. Then the real Ring Master stops the show and a clown ziplines down from the ceiling to hand Brad his rose to distribute. The crowd boos. They want more circus! They didn't pay for this crap. Brad doesn't have a microphone or anything, but it looks like he's on the JumboTron and he tells the girls this has been amazing and gives the rose to Stephy. McTan Lines has only herself to blame for this, and Stephy is of course so glad to get a rose in front of the whole circus. Brad says he picked her because she "put herself out there" today. Hm, okay. Whatever. Some clowns shoot out of cannons and we're done with the circus.
Later, Hillary poofs her hair in preparation for the big one-on-one. She tells us that she's very touchy-feely and she hopes that she kisses Brad so that she'll be able to brag about being the first one to kiss him. Great reason there, Hillary. I'm sure Brad will love it. Also, the joke's on you because Perky Jenni already got the first kiss - well the first one that was mutual - so that dream is dead. Brad says he's excited to take Hillary out because she's the one who always keeps him laughing. Last week he said Jenni always keeps him laughing and honestly, I haven't seen him laughing very much. Hillary makes her entrance in the black sparkly dress that has a weird plain belt around the waist and Brad starts stammering that he is at a loss for words. Luckily he has a little brown box that will do all the talking for him. It's full of diamonds! Everybody scream!
The Heart of the Ocean
Immediately the group date girls go into pouting mode and Hillary goes into gloating mode. Brad fastens the necklace onto Hillary and she twirls giddily. Okay, I would love to get to wear a million dollars worth of diamonds, even for one night, but the other girls all act like this is Brad's doing and that it must be some sort of favoritism. Ladies, he had nothing to do with this. The producers handed him the box and shoved him into the limo. And those diamonds are going right back where they came from before this night ends, so dry your eyes.
In the limo Brad tells Hillary that they are off to San Francisco, so I'm waiting for them to pull up to the Southwest terminal at LAX, but instead they get to go on a private jet! Interesting. I'm sure Southwest would have been cheaper. They fly from Los Angeles to San Francisco like once an hour. Oh well, I guess they have to pull out all the stops to make Brad seem impressive, even though he's on the ABC private jet, and not the Dizzy Rooster private jet. In San Francisco they are whisked over to some restaurant where they get a private room to dine and discuss. Hillary says she feels like a princess with her prince - that's original. Brad reiterates that he chose Hillary for this date because she seems so fun and he really wants to have a good time. This is Hillary's cue to burst into tears. She says that she would give up the diamonds and even the shirt off her back (hint, hint) just to be happy with Brad and crazy in love. She bawls and Brad isn't really sure what to do. She says she's just so happy to have this chance to meet someone like him. He keeps telling her not to be sad and she keeps shrieking that she's fine and then bawling some more. This is highly inappropriate. She's sobbing her heart out to a stranger that she just met. Pull yourself together, Hillary. Men already think women are psycho.
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Comments (8)
Ah, good stuff!
Would someone please tell me why McCarten and Jade are still in this? Is there ever a moment when Jade isn't smirking or glaring? Ugh, and McCarten is just dreadful!
My vote is also for DeAnna.
And on a side note...Did anyone see the article on Mayo being sent to Iraq? He leaves in January, and apparently, this is why they ended their engagement.
Ummmm...what's-her-name was dating a military man...did she NOT see the possibility beforehand???
1 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 11, 2007 4:42 PM
Great recap, Honey!
Yes, in my neck o' the woods (California), I have heard those little chocolate sprinkles called "jimmys", too.
I LOVED that Sheena laughed at Brad and Chad's names!
Thank God that Ho-lisa is gone...her sluttiness vs. her "morales" was getting so old.
Once again, fabulous job, Honey!
2 of 8 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on October 11, 2007 4:48 PM
Brad is the best Bachelor yet. He actually laughs and doesn't seem like he is reading lines the whole time.
The only way I could see the girls not realizing it was Brad was if they were very very drunk. Chad and Brad were very different.
3 of 8 | Posted by jmportia | Posted on October 11, 2007 11:40 PM
I forgot to ask in my first post, but does Brad remind anyone of Dr. Phil? I swear his voice sounds just like him!!!!
But, I agree...he really is the best bachelor this show has had.
He just seems real.
4 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 12, 2007 7:55 AM
I haven't watched the bachelor in YEARS...maybe since the 3rd season. I happned by your recap and you made me laugh so hard, I went to the ABC.com full episode viewer, watched the 3 shows thus far, and read all your recaps. FAB-U-LOUS snarky.
My observations on this double-your-pleasure-double-your-fun (I can write such a corny thing, as I Am A Twin, too. And have had to deal with corny crap like that spewed at my my whole life!) segment.
~ I agree with post #1. McCArtan and Jade MUST GO. Jade is a fairly unattractive Biatch, and McCartan should have been history after her ill fated, unwanted, poorly timed kiss way back when.
~ Did anyonre else notice that BRAD had a clearly visable tan line where his wedding ring previously resided??!!
~ Good riddance Solisa....who claims to be an "Esthetician". My A$$ She is defintely a stripper. Her "special parts" are her fake boobs and collagen lips. That parting speach was a classic. What a knucklehead.
~ Please, Brad.....DON'T SAVE THE CHEERLEADER
5 of 8 | Posted by Farrell100 | Posted on October 13, 2007 1:11 PM
Great recap. I'm glad that you noticed McTan Lines' shocked facial expression when the BradandChad "twins" came out. So Chad's stupid, basically. We have him to thank for McCanteen still being in the race, because Brad's ego booted out everyone that couldn't tell the difference between him and his brother. Who would've thought a guy (who obviously spends hours in a gym) wants to be loved for qualities other than his looks - especially a guy who's on a dating show choosing between 25 bachelorettes without a piggy or extremely unattractive girl in the bunch.
Boooooo Jade! Thank God she won't be getting a rose in the next show (I'm psychic).
My prediction: Jenni and Deanna will be the final two.
6 of 8 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 13, 2007 3:23 PM
Sheena reminds me of the mom from Friday Night Lights, so I like her. i doubt she will last though.
Its annoying that Brad likes Jenni, what the? Anyone is better than McCarten though, please.
By the way I'm in love with your recaps,"the clowns hang their heads in shame" sweet.
7 of 8 | Posted by trivial | Posted on October 13, 2007 4:56 PM
The bachelor has this going for him (and I knock on wood as I say it cause it might just happen in the very next episode) - he hasn't yet set up "challenges" to "win him" by doing retarded things like drink mixing contests and other totally irrelevant activities that comprise his interest. Like that stupid idiot Mayo who made the women run around in a bikini doing a tri-athalon. UGH! Infuriating.
My money is on Jenni too. And her scrapbook..hahah
8 of 8 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on October 16, 2007 12:44 PM