Meanwhile at the mansion, Date Box #3 arrives. Obviously the girls going on the second group date are Kristy, Sheena, Jade, Bettina and the Christian. The production assistants gave up on rhyming and just wrote, "Let's all sail away together." Everybody scream! They pull out little nautical trinkets and Sheena tells us that she has been boating her entire life so she hopes that will give her the edge on the date.
Back at the sobfest Hillary cries that she doesn't want Brad to think she's an emotional girl. Good luck with that, Hillary. It's just that she does want to fall in love and she's just so happy to be here. Basically it just goes on with her alternating between sobbing and apologizing for sobbing. This is the worst date ever. Brad can't even eat dinner because he's too busy wiping off her face.
"Uh, is there some medication you forgot to take?"
Let's see what's going on at the mansion, shall we? The girls are speculating as to whether or not Hillary will be coming back. DeAnna says she doesn't think so and McTan Lines flat out says she doesn't want her to. When questioned, she says she's not here to make friends and she doesn't know or like Hillary enough to want her to come back. Well there you have it from Little Miss Confidence. The other girls act shocked over this attitude, but the only difference is that they're not saying it out loud. Which actually makes them classier if you think about it.
And back to the floods. Hillary blubbers that even if she goes home, she's so glad to know that there is a guy out there like Brad. All right Hillary, we get it. Give it a rest for crying out loud. Brad tells us that he thinks Hillary is crying because she has very true feelings for him. Yeah, either that, or she's an insane mess. Why chance it? Brad decides that he can't possibly risk an entire nervous breakdown, so he grabs the rose and gives it to her to shut her up. So much for a fun date with a fun girl. She snatches the rose, of course. Next Brad takes her over to the Ghirardelli Chocolate Factory for some ice cream in the shop. I may have to make an emergency run to Cold Stone after watching this scene. Hillary asks Brad if he wants "jimmys" on his ice cream which causes him to do a double take. She explains that where she comes from sprinkles are called jimmys, but everyone knows that jimmys is slang for condoms and I think Hillary is inserting a subliminal message. Would anyone from Philadelphia like to verify this? Anyway, Brad and Hillary share a little tear-stained ice cream kiss and Hillary is ready to walk down the aisle.
Back from commercial we embark on Group Date #2 and Brad tells us that it's only fair to give the rest of the ladies a chance after his first two amazing dates. That's polite of him to call Hillary's date amazing. The girls climb on the sailboat and they have brought him the captain hat from the Date Box to wear. Eeeew, it reminds me of Mayo. This is a very large boat they are on; it looks like a pirate ship. Kristy announces that this is her chance to show Brad her funny side because all he's seen so far is her serious side, what with the tongue diagnosis and all, so she sits with him at the wheel of the ship and "acts silly." This is basically just her laughing really loud and pretending to put her arm around him. Oh Kristy, stop, you're too much. I guess it works because Brad says they had a great talk and he finds her very attractive.
Brad is clearly entranced.
The other girls have started up their own dance party elsewhere on the ship and the Christian comes right over and gives Brad a lap dance. You see, she has really strong morals and values. She tells us that she and Brad have a really strong connection, but shaking her butt in his face is all she knows how to do. Yes, she really says that. Suddenly Smeed fires off a cannon. This is getting more bizarre by the minute.
Christian virtue or offensive mockery?
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Comments (8)
Ah, good stuff!
Would someone please tell me why McCarten and Jade are still in this? Is there ever a moment when Jade isn't smirking or glaring? Ugh, and McCarten is just dreadful!
My vote is also for DeAnna.
And on a side note...Did anyone see the article on Mayo being sent to Iraq? He leaves in January, and apparently, this is why they ended their engagement.
Ummmm...what's-her-name was dating a military man...did she NOT see the possibility beforehand???
1 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 11, 2007 4:42 PM
Great recap, Honey!
Yes, in my neck o' the woods (California), I have heard those little chocolate sprinkles called "jimmys", too.
I LOVED that Sheena laughed at Brad and Chad's names!
Thank God that Ho-lisa is gone...her sluttiness vs. her "morales" was getting so old.
Once again, fabulous job, Honey!
2 of 8 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on October 11, 2007 4:48 PM
Brad is the best Bachelor yet. He actually laughs and doesn't seem like he is reading lines the whole time.
The only way I could see the girls not realizing it was Brad was if they were very very drunk. Chad and Brad were very different.
3 of 8 | Posted by jmportia | Posted on October 11, 2007 11:40 PM
I forgot to ask in my first post, but does Brad remind anyone of Dr. Phil? I swear his voice sounds just like him!!!!
But, I agree...he really is the best bachelor this show has had.
He just seems real.
4 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on October 12, 2007 7:55 AM
I haven't watched the bachelor in YEARS...maybe since the 3rd season. I happned by your recap and you made me laugh so hard, I went to the ABC.com full episode viewer, watched the 3 shows thus far, and read all your recaps. FAB-U-LOUS snarky.
My observations on this double-your-pleasure-double-your-fun (I can write such a corny thing, as I Am A Twin, too. And have had to deal with corny crap like that spewed at my my whole life!) segment.
~ I agree with post #1. McCArtan and Jade MUST GO. Jade is a fairly unattractive Biatch, and McCartan should have been history after her ill fated, unwanted, poorly timed kiss way back when.
~ Did anyonre else notice that BRAD had a clearly visable tan line where his wedding ring previously resided??!!
~ Good riddance Solisa....who claims to be an "Esthetician". My A$$ She is defintely a stripper. Her "special parts" are her fake boobs and collagen lips. That parting speach was a classic. What a knucklehead.
~ Please, Brad.....DON'T SAVE THE CHEERLEADER
5 of 8 | Posted by Farrell100 | Posted on October 13, 2007 1:11 PM
Great recap. I'm glad that you noticed McTan Lines' shocked facial expression when the BradandChad "twins" came out. So Chad's stupid, basically. We have him to thank for McCanteen still being in the race, because Brad's ego booted out everyone that couldn't tell the difference between him and his brother. Who would've thought a guy (who obviously spends hours in a gym) wants to be loved for qualities other than his looks - especially a guy who's on a dating show choosing between 25 bachelorettes without a piggy or extremely unattractive girl in the bunch.
Boooooo Jade! Thank God she won't be getting a rose in the next show (I'm psychic).
My prediction: Jenni and Deanna will be the final two.
6 of 8 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on October 13, 2007 3:23 PM
Sheena reminds me of the mom from Friday Night Lights, so I like her. i doubt she will last though.
Its annoying that Brad likes Jenni, what the? Anyone is better than McCarten though, please.
By the way I'm in love with your recaps,"the clowns hang their heads in shame" sweet.
7 of 8 | Posted by trivial | Posted on October 13, 2007 4:56 PM
The bachelor has this going for him (and I knock on wood as I say it cause it might just happen in the very next episode) - he hasn't yet set up "challenges" to "win him" by doing retarded things like drink mixing contests and other totally irrelevant activities that comprise his interest. Like that stupid idiot Mayo who made the women run around in a bikini doing a tri-athalon. UGH! Infuriating.
My money is on Jenni too. And her scrapbook..hahah
8 of 8 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on October 16, 2007 12:44 PM