Tonight on The Bachelor, we reenact National Lampoon's Vacation, then Jason feels up eight of the girls and finds out that one of them loves bears. Can't wait? Me neither, come on!
Chris Harrison pays a special visit to the ladies in their jammies hanging out in the living room of the Mansion of Desperation. This week there will be one group date and two one-on-one dates. There will be roses in question on each date, but remember! If you go on a one-on-one date, pack your crap because you could be on a plane back to Lonelyville in a matter of minutes. Also remember, not everyone will be so fortunate as to go on a date this week. He pulls an envelope out of his pants and drops it on the table, wishing everyone luck. What happened to our elaborate date boxes? Remember the days when the note was only the beginning and the girls would also get dress-up outfits and props for their dates? What's with the skimping? I do not appreciate. I want some feather boas and Barbie horses, darn it!
Lauren grabs the note and reads with much to-do... Stephanie! "Come play with me. -J." Do you see what a cute, down-home kind of guy Jason is? He doesn't go by "Jason," which is just so formal and ridiculous. Oh no. It's "J" for the lovely ladies so they'll feel at ease. What a guy! Stephanie jumps around screaming "Finally!" Yes Stephanie. It has been one whole round and you haven't had a date yet. I just don't know how you survived. Megan has a little pity party because she didn't leave her son and come all this way to NOT get a one-on-one with Jason. Interesting entitlement theory, Megan. Tell us more. Actually, don't.
In the car on her way to her date, Stephanie calls her little girl to wish her a happy birthday. Poor little girl. First her dad takes a flight to heaven and now her mom goes on a date instead of giving her a birthday party. Stephanie clears all this up by saying that her husband is looking down from heaven happy that Sophia (the little girl) might be getting a daddy figure. Okay, maybe, but do you really think he had The Bachelor in mind?
Jason is waiting to take Stephanie for a walk on the beach. He tells us that they have a fabulous connection because they both have painful pasts. Uh, ok. He tells Stephanie that he knows she gave up a lot to be here, and Stephanie grabs both of his hands and gives her heartfelt speech about possibly finding this wonderful role model and daddy for Sophia. Jason's like, "Whatever. So you didn't talk to her today, then?" Awkward. Then he points to something behind Stephanie and when she turns around Sophia is there running toward her. Aw, that's actually really sweet. They kind of slam into each other and then roll around in the sand. Stephanie is understandably elated and Sophia is understandably - well, confused.
Jason is off to the side tearing up nicely for the cameras.
They frolic on the beach for a while trying out what a cute little family they'd make. Stephanie keeps telling us how grateful she is to Jason for bringing Sophia to her, but really. How much did Jason have to do with this? He just shrugged and said, "ok" when the producers told him the plan, come on.
Next they dress Sophia up in a ball gown and take her to... Legoland. I always wear my prom dress to theme parks. I have to say here that Legoland is looking today exactly how Wally World looked when the Griswalds arrived from their cross country road trip. That is, closed. There's a giant talking lego at the gates telling them sorry, but Legoland is being cleaned and repaired for the season. Jason punches the giant lego and runs off to buy a BB gun. When he returns he finds a security guard to take hostage and forces him to take the three of them on all the rides they want. It's a private day at the park!
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Comments (5)
Yay! I get to be first instead of last . . . riotious Honey, but I am so struck by how icky, strange and perverted it sounded to have all the girls strip and mold their breasts . . . is it me!? I didn't watch, but Jillian is sounding relaxed and fun. I"m starting to see what everyone's talking about as far as the blands go . . . having no TV I was rewatching the limo's, as it was the only thing available, and it was deathly dull, and I so saw the repeat everything they say . . . oh well, I'm sure I come off as a freak at first too!
Honey, what did the fetus look like when she was done!?
1 of 5 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on January 22, 2009 12:03 PM
I don't watch this show, but I do enjoy the recaps.
My question: Next week it looks like someone spends the night with Jason. Do they really spend the night together and do the nasty on prime time T.V? I mean, they don't even do that on A Double shot at Love on MTV with the Ikki twins!
2 of 5 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on January 22, 2009 12:16 PM
OK, how the @#$* could anyone be a 20 double F...My 10 year old daughter weighs about 60 pounds and I think she is still bigger around the chest than 20 inches. Maybe she said 30 double F? Still that would be very tiny.
3 of 5 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on January 22, 2009 3:06 PM
I just don't get how they think the show should be stretched out over two hours...zzz...What this show needs is some Shot of Love type competitions.
I'm looking forward to Shannon's inevitable meltdown. And of course they couldn't get rid of both bitches, so they kept the mean one (Megan) in the hope of more 'drama'.
Nikki really doesn't need to speak. Just keep wearing those dresses, woman, you'll make it to the very end.
I'm hope they get rid of the widow soon though. It's just cruel to keep her around. She's almost as needy as Shannon is. And there's no way they can win.
Oh yeah, and it seems to me that Lauren's Joisey accent got really thick all of a sudden. I'm just sayin'.
4 of 5 | Posted by itchy | Posted on January 22, 2009 5:36 PM
Ugh, Jason is such a turd. We all knew he was a breast man, right? My husband and I try to predict who he's going to give a rose to based exculsively on breast size...and we are right 95% of the time!!! If Nikki hadn't worn that dress, she would have been OUT! :)
Still, I love this show!
5 of 5 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on January 25, 2009 3:22 PM