It's the "naughty stool" for these two gigglers.
Tonight The Bachelor takes a turn for the serious. But before that happens we have a jolly good English group date and a really dreamy 50's date at a swell diner. Matt continues doling out the kisses, Pouting Robin continues doling out the frowns and Leelee continues doling out her belly button. Grab a strong drink and join me for this week's adventures!
Chris Harrison returns in his know-it-all glory to the Mansion of Desperation to give the girls the lowdown on this week. He's in a flaming purple blouse.
"Matt said I look pretty."
He tells the girls that this week things will be taking a serious turn. Oh, you mean no more pretend Hollywood parties? Matt will be hosting one group date, one "special" one-on-one date, and a two-on-one date. There are roses to be won on each date, but with the two-on-one, he picks one girl to stay and the other to leave in terrible shame. The girls all gasp at this news. Oh yes, girls - did someone forget to tell you? People get eliminated each week on this show. It's only a matter of time.
The first Date Box is a pink tennis bag and the note reads: "Kelly, Chelsea, Shayne, Leelee, Noelle and Robin - I'm looking for the perfect match. Love, Matt." The girls are beside themselves with curiosity trying to decode Matt's special note. Luckily the tennis bag gives them a hint. They'll be playing tennis. There are rackets, balls and tiny tennis skirts. But wait. There is another baffling component to this mysterious Date Box. Tea cups. Tea and tennis? Well, whatever floats your British boat. Robin goes on and on about "high tea" and "Wimble-ton" and how important it must be to Matt and how much she hopes that's what they'll be doing. Shayne wants to know what "high tea" means because it's not something they do on the set of "General Hospital."
High Tea Dry Run
The girls arrive at a private estate where Matt predicts that this date is going to be brilliant. Leelee emerges, midriff blazing, for a rousing match. Shayne immediately complains that her tiny skirt is way too big and starts rolling it down at the waist. Matt admits that Chelsea is looking so hot today that he actually has to exhort himself to "sort it out," to keep from staring at her. Then he judges a handstand contest between Shayne and Chelsea in their tennis skirts. Pouting Robin guffaws, saying she'd never be so attention-whorish. Of course not, Robin - please go back to frowning.
"Blimey! Look at all the wife potential."
Matt takes Leelee for a little stroll through some trees and here we find out some (more) annoying things about Leelee. First of all, she doesn't recognize commonly used English idioms, like on the first night when Matt told her to "fire away," and now he comments on her handling of the whole Bachelor situation, saying she "takes it in stride," and she's bewildered. Also, Leelee never utters a sentence not followed up by a very shrill giggle. Lastly, Leelee continues to write and sing original songs for Matt. I mean really, haven't we had enough for a season - or five? Matt says her singing is his undoing and they kiss after she stops. The other girls badmouth Leelee and then she sings into the camera that she "wants the rose, so-oh bad... hee hee hee." Please no more.
Later Matt gathers the girls around a tea table for - you guessed it, high tea! Again he says it's brilliant. And it wouldn't be a Bachelor tea party without alcohol, so everyone also gets champagne. As Robin passes around tea and jam, she tells a fascinating story about how her parents don't own a coffee maker, they own a tea maker that looks like a coffee maker. Tell it again, Robin! Then she announces that she's going on a walk and would like Matt to join her. The other girls are angry, naturally. Matt tells Robin he loves her British-ness, what with passing around tea and jam and yammering about her parents' tea maker. Matt says he loves spending time with her and feels that they connect on many different levels. You know, rugby, tennis, tea, jam... it never ends. Robin tips her hand and tells Matt she's totally falling for him. Big mistake, Robin.
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Comments (8)
"TELL IT AGAIN, ROBIN!"
Brilliant! haha Robin seriously needs to go. What about her is so dang attractive?
And MARSHANA? Are you kidding me? When he sent Holly home, I must've sat in shock saying, "No Way!" for about 5 minutes. ABC must be forcing him to keep her for another round because I just don't get it. And that kiss was awful! Your caption was prefect.
Kelly was pure trash. Was anyone else as shocked as I was when she decided to display her boobs on tv? Who does that!??!
And Leelee with those songs - B-R-U-T-A-L. When she sang at the end, I broke up laughing...too funny!
At this point, I'm not sure I can root for any of his remaining choices. Maybe I just need to see them again.
I will say, though, that Shayne kind of impresses me with the fact that she doesn't seem threatened by the other girls. She's made it a habit of sticking up for the ones that don't get much time with him. I did not see that coming, especially from her.
Thanks for the recap, Honey Gangsta!
1 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on April 10, 2008 11:05 AM
Robin sucks. Did you not come here to make friends or are you sad because you're all alone?? Make up your mind before I bitch slap that frown off your face.
I couldn't believe how awful LeeLee's singing was. Matt was going on and on about it and then she sang to him in the fields and I almost threw up. I didn't think it could be serious. I was wishing Cowell was there to tell her to STFU.
I was so shocked that Marshana got the rose; this has to be a record for a non-white woman, right? And i know she rocked out that stupid sari because she already had a rose and Matt couldn't send her Miss Earth ass packing.
Also, I read on another website that Holly used to date Justin Guarini from Idol 1, which, my only reaction was to laugh heartily out loud. Terrible.
Anyways, hilarious recap. Is Noelle really still there? I still think Chelsea may win it all, but I'm not sure. Definitely not Shayne, Robin or Marshana.
PS - Honey Gangsta did you have flashes of your boy Mayo making demands that all the gals move to Hawaii to fit into his life when Matt asked them about moving to the UK??
2 of 8 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on April 10, 2008 11:16 AM
It does seem arrogant that Matt is already saying, 'ok, which one of you hoes is going to move to England?' -- but, to be fair, he did say up front that he was here to steal our women.
But really, he just wants an American trophy girlfriend. He can show her off to his rugby mates. For that reason, I think either Amanda or Shayne will win. He seems to fancy (English expression!) Amanda the most, and Shayne can be paraded as Lorenzo's daughter (plus she's eye candy and really needy obvs.)
3 of 8 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on April 10, 2008 12:47 PM
"Tell it again, Robin!"
LOL!!!!!!!! Too funny.
"Meaning… I have no idea."
Seriously, laughing my ass off...
I think one of Holly's downfalls was when she said she can survive anywhere. I'm not sure Matt was looking for plain survival, she made it seem like it would only be temporary.
I was pretty shocked about the Marshana pick - she doesn't seem to be likeable at all.
I like Chelsea and I'm pretty sure that Matt is just all about Shayne (who I also like despite her unpopularity).
I'll give Matt this - he seems to be taking this just a tad more serious than most of the bachelors of the past. I mean, he was serious and stern with Leelee!
4 of 8 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on April 10, 2008 1:14 PM
DP Hooker ~
YES! I agree with you on the Mayo comment!
I was just making the same one at work the other day.
He just ASSUMES that these girls are going to drop their lives and move to where he is. He hasn't even offered the possibility that he would make some compromises.
At least with Mayo, he had a valid reason why he couldn't leave Hawaii...but the rest of the over-the-top demands by him were silly.
5 of 8 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on April 10, 2008 1:47 PM
Funny recap. I love you, Honey Gangsta (no matter what I've written to the contrary in the past).
It's not that Matt likes Marshana. It's more about him disliking Holly more than disliking Marshana. Kind of like how a vote for Kerry was a vote against Bush in 2004.
I'm soooooo glad there's no more Ashleelee and Kelly. Dumbest broads ever.
My predictions of the next to go are *drumroll*:
1. Marshana
2. Noelle
3. Robin
4. Chelsea
5. Shayne
6. Amanda ("winner")
6 of 8 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on April 10, 2008 2:11 PM
OH MY GOD i just read andy baldwin is dating marla maples (trump's ex). she is 44. it's on realityblurred.com. i am stunned. has she relocated to hawaii yet? and i thought chris told us in our "where are they now" special that andy was overseas on a special top secret underwater mission. ABC is holding out the goods on us!!!
7 of 8 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on April 10, 2008 7:38 PM
Very funny post.
As for the "shocked" responses with regard to Matt not choosing Holly, you guys can admit its because she's black...don't worry the PC police wont come after you.
8 of 8 | Posted by nyc1024 | Posted on April 13, 2008 11:37 AM