- It's Lauren's birthday! And she's a porta-wife (teacher).
- Melissa manages to not lead with the fact that she used to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.
- Sharon - another porta-wife - makes Jason do some salsa steps with her and it's not exactly graceful.
- Naomi is a stewardess and she can't stop hitching up her strapless dress.
- Megan drops the baby bomb. She has a 14-month-old son.
- Stephanie (the widow) seems like she could be Jason's mother.
- There is a girl named TREASURE, who is also from Utah (thank you very much).
- Raquel is from Brazil, speaks three languages, and is a medical student. I predict she's too smart for Jason to keep around for long.
- Molly makes Jason show her his golf swing.
- Nicole - our token minority (Asian) is wearing orange because it's Ty's favorite color.
- Jillian wants to know what Jason's favorite hot dog topping is (!) because she has a very specific theory on what that says about a person.
- Emily has fried hair and is from Seattle.
- Okay Julie is our second minority - but I can't tell exactly which minority.
- Shannon emerges from the limo wearing gross false teeth and then laughs way too hard at her own little joke. She's the dental hygienist. And apparently a talented comedienne.

So there are our 25 Mrs. Mesnick hopefuls. Chris Harrison reminds Jason that he will need to award one First Impression Rose this evening so to keep that in mind. As Jason walks inside the girls, naturally, scream bloody murder.

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"Oh crap."

Jason asks the camera, "This night is unbelievable... why me?" I couldn't have said it better, Jason. He tells the girls to be themselves and have fun because he wants to get to know them all. Yipee!

Here are some more Highlights as the girls battle it out for that harbinger of doom - the First Impression Rose. Fun Fact: The girl who gets the First Impression Rose has never won - at least not since I've been watching.

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Don't get too excited, girls.

- Naomi makes a toast to DeAnna for rejecting Jason and giving all of us a chance. This is followed by everyone taking a huge slug of some clear liquor.
- Shannon giggle/squeals that she wants to be a mom so bad! Uh oh. She has a sit down with Jason and it turns out that she's been cyber stalking him and knows every detail of his life, including his brother's girlfriend's name. She insists several times that she's not a stalker then tells Jason he has beautiful teeth. Wow. Crazy Pants.

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"So why did you throw away that half empty bottle of Prell?"

- Dominique sells toe implants. Yes, you read that correctly.
- Sharon admits that she resigned from her job to come on the show. Brilliant.
- Megan asserts that the girls without children have no idea what they're in for.
- Kari reads a lame poem she wrote for Jason about how much she already loves him.
- Oh here we go. Jillian is grilling up some wieners and going over what each topping says about a guy. I won't go into them because A) they're stupid. B) who only puts one thing on a hot dog? Is that even allowed? She drags Jason in and watches like a hawk as he squirts mustard onto his hot dog. Jillian is overjoyed because apparently the guy who puts mustard on his hot dog is the guy you want to settle down with. Moving right along...

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Well, this may be as good a method as this show.

- Nikki gushes to Jason about how badly she wants to be a mom.
- Renee deems it appropriate to elaborately explain to Jason about her "vision boards." Why can't they keep a lid on their crazy? At least in the beginning?
- Brazilian Raquel blows Shannon's feeble attempt at salsa dancing right out of the water.

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"Wow, three languages... really? And the MCAT?
Where's that cheerleader?"

- As Lauren chats with Jason he gets up to go and grab something. First Impression Rose? Nope. It's a pile of creampuffs with a candle in the top for her birthday. Lauren gives him a huge smile as she chokes back tears of disappointment. Too bad, Lauren!

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Comments (14)

Quean CeCe:

Yeah! both the Bachelor and Honey are back!

It is amazing to me that this show keeps finding so many whacko women.

I'm sorry that the one chick is widowed but .. how creepy is it that she forces her daughter to visit the cross every day for a father she lost at 10 weeks old? and how many times did she say "tragically killed"?

It seems from the previews that Jason spends the season sucking face with all of them.

sheiney:

I like the people that recap my other shows, but you just reminded me why I LOVE this website. I am so excited for this season, thanks to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

renata:

It's good to have you back, Honey. Looking forward to a glorious season of recaps. Yey!!
As I watched last night I kept getting more and more annoyed during the arrivals segment. Then I figured out why. And what was grating on my nerves so bad was the fact that Jason did not have ONE!!! original thought during this whole process. Every single thing he said was a repeat of the previously uttered sentence by the ‘lady’, only turned into a sentence. You know what I’m talking about. It makes you feel like a shrink is talking at you. The flowery examples;
L: ‘I’m from Idaho’ – J: ‘Idaho? uhm”,
L:‘ Potatoes’ – J: ‘Potatoes? Uhm”,
L: ‘tornadoes’ – J: ‘Tornadoes?, uhm” ,
L: ‘I’m nervous’ – J: ‘You’re nervous?, uhm’,
and on and on… Had there been a girl so stressed out that she only managed to state her name, I’m sure it would have been the shortest introduction in Bachelor history. And every meeting was crowned with either ‘We’ll talk inside’ or ‘We’ll have fun tonight’. What a BOOOOOORING dude, Oh Lordy!
I did not like Jason during DeAnna’s season, but I did not dislike him – he was like a glass of flat water – you’ll drink it if there’s nothing else handy, but will you get off on it - not likely. But I can tell already that he will be chipping continually at my patience and good will stores. Honestly, I think it is time for ABC to STOP RECYCLING the bachelors/bachelorettes. They were on the show, they had their chance, it did not work out – do we really need to see them go thru it again? Big whoop – second chance at Love! Yeah….We are already pretty much assured what the outcome will be.
Thank goodness that there seem to be a lot of girls with bubbly, outgoing and competitive personalities – hopefully they will keep the show flowing and at least a little interesting and suspenseful. Jason seems to only be able to hold a conversation if it is about Ty. I too wonder how long it will take him to send away all the intelligent ones, with broad interests, and narrow the field down to only the ones who do not threaten him on intellectual level, and worship him and Ty.
Does not look like a good, interesting season thus far. Of course nothing will ever stop me from watching it – the only bachelors I couldn’t stand and therefore did not watch were Alex season 1, Charlie with the ‘famous’ actor brother and Jesse Palmer since he looked like a joke from the beginning. Every other one, no matter how boring, or ridiculous ABC made it, I gulped down with gusto and said thank you. So not much hope for me left- Lord bless your heart, Honey for making the whole experience so much enjoyable. Your recaps may turn out to be the only entertaining thing coming out of this season.

welcometothepartypal:

Can't wait to find out what the over-the-rail crying scene is all about, b/c i can't see what would justify that ever being acceptable for a man to do, except for some kind of serious tragedy, and I'm sure its not that! what a weirdo.
I can't believe he picked I'm not a stalker Shannon, what a nutjob.
Is Sharon cross-eyed?
I really wanted to like the widow, she seemed nice, but she reminds me of that lady who had all the plastic surgery to look like a cat.

bbjunkie:

Oh you had me at Aw Shucks! I can't sit through the show ever since Trista picked Ryan over Charlie, but looks like she's on to something no other Bachelor or Bachelorette has managed to do and she keeps milking that 15+ minutes of fame.

I love, love, love the recaps. This season has all the fixings for disaster boring guy jilted numerous times, crazy Deanna, women looking for their soul mates on TV, and a poor preschooler tossed into the mix who may or may not get a new mommy for a few months.

KikiC:

Yea! Honey is back with the Bachelor! All is right with the world.

I am hoping that Jason isn't sobbing over the bannister...but laughing himself to tears over one of them.

And Stephanie wears WAY too much makeup. It looks like she used to a putty knife to apply it.

Looking forward to another season of whack-jobs.

juddfan:

Yay!!!! HOney's back in the house!!!!

I ended up falling for Jason, even though he is not even remotely my type, he's just that sweet, to me anyway! My gaydar still bleeps when I see him, but I guess he picked enough Chesty Morgan's to possibly prove me wrong. He is a bit dull, but to me, he's acting like most of us would. I realize he took the stalker, but during that conversation, his eyebrows met his hairline, in a very scared way, so he really must not have dug the rejects. I liked the look of the token asian girl, she was hot!

Don't really like or dislike anyone at this point, but Deanna is like bile in my mouth, I hate that C U next Tuesday!!! She will ruin this for me, completely!!!!! I think he was crying because she came back for a second chance, and here he was all ready for new love, but the old one came back at this pivotal moment and makes him second guess. If she's in this and makes it all the way, I'll , I'll , okay, probably nothing, but I'll be happy when I hear it didn't work out.

Guess I like Sharon for seeming fun and normal and not wearing too much makeup! I think he reversed the order of faves in the rose ceremony.

Melissa has a great smile, Brazil is fierce and hot-hot-hot!!! I like Molly's friendly face and Sandra Bullock is quite striking with the cleft chin!

I hope renata still beat me for longest post, I've been ungasmed for so long through the holidays, I don't know what came over me!

Thanks HG!!!!

pixielated:

Jason seems a tad unbalanced to me; he took the whole Bachelorette thing WAY too seriously. I think he is one of those guys who says that women don't like him because he is "too nice" when it is really because he is wishy-washy and has no personality. And how "nice" is somebody who involves a young child in this sort of thing?

I'll bet he's crying because DeAnna rejected him AGAIN.

I also was under the impression that he had only 1/2 custody of Ty, but from this it seems like he has him all the time.

itchy:

I continue to believe that the mother isn't in the picture because the two of them had an arrangement to allow Boring Guy to have a child while allowing him to revel in his repressed homosexuality without having any icky girls around.

I mean, if the guy isn't gay, he should be. I have no proof for any of this other than that this guy creeps me out. And I don't creep easily.

I also think it's bullshit that they recycle the bachelor/ette/s --it's more fun when the ladies don't know what they're getting at all.

pixielated:

I know you don't mean that gay guys creep you out, itch. Even closeted ones.

I think he's creepy because he is just not right in the head. Also, he is like a dishrag.

Who was it that said, "There is just no THERE there" about Hollywood? That's the way I feel about Jason.

(I had a boyfriend like him, which is why I'm saying this. I don't mean the guy is crazy or dangerous, just troubled.)

itchy:

Yes, Pixie, thanks for the benefit of the doubt -- I mean THIS guy creeps me out because he makes me feel like he's hiding something, or lying to himself, and yeah, definitely the dishrag thing.

And I suppose I can understand why someone might choose to remain in the closet or even force himself to repress himself, given the way society/religion has things set up...but what's creepy is going on national TV about it.

Although, of course, this is part of what makes watching the Brady Bunch so much fun now...and to think, when I was a kid, everyone wanted to grow up to be a cool and hip dad like Mike Brady!

BRaps:

So glad to have some Honey back in my life!

I agree the Deanna crying preview is tricky editing. No way does she ask for him back. I wonder if she and Jesse had even split yet when this show was filmed. Jason does nothing for me at all, but almost anyone would be a letdown after Matt Grant. Does anyone else think Jason has more hair in front this time around? He looks to be in great shape too. The recycled ones always hit the gym hard after they get rejected!

itchy:

Having finally seen this episode, I just gotta say this about Lauren, the hot teacher from NJ ...Va-va-voom!

Well, okay, I'm imagining myself as a one of the 12-year-old boys in her class, watching her lean over in that dress...

Oops! Gotta go!

C MacKenzie:

Hi! I've got my crystal ball here ...not really, just feel like guessing that Nikki will be the "winnah" of this go-round! Most of the others struck me as crazed fans last week!

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