Later at home, Leelee is still waving her rose around in everyone's face and no one is very pleased about it. Marshana decides to "speak on it" because she is not liking this at all. Basically the girls drill Leelee about whether or not she kissed Matt and she does giddy little somersaults on the bed saying that Matt kissed her and not the other way around. Ugh, put a cork in it Leelee.
Date #2 - Vegas Girls
And it's on to the second date! Matt is of course highly excited to be going to Vegas because all foreigners who visit the U.S. have to witness the spectacle for themselves. He takes the girls to the Paris hotel to gamble and see what's really going on here. Shayne butts in and tells us that even if you've been to Vegas a thousand times like she has, your energy level still shoots up when you arrive. Thank you, Shayne. Matt gives each girl a thousand dollar chip and tells them that whoever has the most money at the end of 30 minutes wins a half hour alone with him. Do I smell Special Quality Time? Some of the girls play Blackjack and some play Roulette, but Carri tells us that what she's really gambling with is her heart. Barf. Robin starts pouting because she never gambles and she's really only here for Matt.
"I would never lower myself to this..."
Oh lighten up, Robin. It's not even your money - just play along. Nope. She takes Matt away for a walk to complain about how she doesn't want to gamble. This infuriates the other girls who are doing as Matt ordered. Robin basically gets Matt to tell her that he's interested in her for sure and then she rejoins the other girls. Shayne puts everything on red and loses. Thanks for playing, Shayne!
It turns out that Kelly wins the most money in the half hour so she is the lucky winner of Special Quality Time (even though that's not what they're calling it), so they go up the Eiffel Tower for more drinking and some fruit. Kelly announces that this is Matt's chance to learn that she is nice, cool and can handle her alcohol. Right as she says this she spoons up a peach and immediately drops it onto the table, then puts the spoon in her mouth anyway. Have another one, Kelly! The rest of their conversation is stimulating, including that Kelly is athletic and why American football is called football. I wish we could stay with these two forever, but alas, we must go back to the others.
"Mm, this peach tastes like a spoon..."
As Kelly and Matt come back to the casino it seems that Shayne has reached her tolerance limit. She can no longer stand by competing for a guy. She grabs Matt and storms away with him demanding to know if he thinks she's the type of girl who has to wait in the wings. Matt tells her that everyone is in the same boat, but that doesn't make her feel any better. Privately Matt tells us that Shayne is so extremely attractive that she's out of his league, but the drama is a huge turn-off. Gee I wonder which of those characteristics is going to end up being most important to him. Do you have a guess?
"Don't you know how many guys would die to be with me?"
Later everyone goes up to the Napoleon Suite to battle it out for the rose. Shayne continues her nervous breakdown, but Matt decides to take Chelsea away for some alone time. Chelsea tells Matt that she does a lot of great and wonderful things, but sometimes she gets lonely. Well what do you know? Matt gets lonely too! It must be destiny.
Pouting Robin is back and she perches on Matt's lap to play Vivaldi on the piano while he fondles her outer thigh. She tells us angrily that she doesn't need a rose to know that Matt is into her and that if she were watching from afar, she'd want to be herself. Her biggest problem is going to be the girls. Wow, she's really sweet. Erin S. sits Matt down and wants to know what he's really looking for. Here is his answer: "I'm looking for someone who's smart, who makes me laugh, who's committed, who isn't in it for the short term." Spoken like a true guy - in other words, totally generic, and he really has no idea. Erin actually claps because she wants those things too! Just like everyone else on earth!
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Comments (13)
GREAT recap!! (as usual)
Ew! Shayne is SUCH a prima donna. How much you wanna bet Papa Lorenzo gave her anything/everything she wanted growing up?
And how sick am I of hearing how these girls "have feelings for him". Dude, you JUST met the guy a week or two ago. Give me a break. And must we hear the line "here for the wrong reasons" EVERY season? I mean, isn't everyone there for the SAME reason? To hook a sugar-daddy?
Marshanna bugs me for some reason. She bitches and moans about girls throwing themselves at Matt, then does a big, old booty lap dance for him. Hmmm...little bit hypocrytical perhaps?
Looking forward to next week! Blood on the rugby field! Of course, it will probably be nothing...ABC does a masterful job of creating drama where there is none.
1 of 13 | Posted by KikiC | Posted on March 27, 2008 1:00 PM
So far, I like this Bachelor, but my fear is that he ends up with Shayne... Before this episode, I had read somewhere (who knows where, could be some stupid forum where someone made something up) that he was spending time in real life with some blonde actress... Who knows?
On the other hand, it would be a great 'meet the family' episode! Perhaps Billy Crystal could do a cameo playing her grandfather...
2 of 13 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on March 27, 2008 6:03 PM
Honestly, your recaps are so much better than the show. I laugh myself to tears with your nicknames and descriptions of these bimbos.
So far Matt has been pretty much a British gentleman, can't wait to see how things evolve, especially with Shayne.
Thanks for the great fun.
3 of 13 | Posted by malimar | Posted on March 27, 2008 10:02 PM
Holy moly..."LeeLee" PISSED me off. Awful weasel she transformed into with the help of a single flower. I would have turned around and snatched the damn rose back if I was English.
4 of 13 | Posted by hillrunnersarah | Posted on March 28, 2008 11:37 AM
TMZ is reporting that Matt is out trolling bars in Hollywood trying to pick up chicks, so he's either made no love connection with any of these bimbos, or he's trying to throw us all off the show's ending. Discuss.
5 of 13 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on March 29, 2008 2:41 PM
Great recap!
Leelee deserved a slap for her obnoxious behavior after Matt gave her the rose. She sucks. Shayne is ALREADY an emotional wreck after one week?? Come on, how do you develop deep feelings for someone within 7 days? I guess she's probably just used to men falling at her feet and begging her to go out with them by the way she tells it, lol. Marshanna bugs me too for some reason. Actually, at this point I still don't know who I like. Matt seems like a decent guy (even though I read those things about him on TMZ too)...time will tell I guess.
6 of 13 | Posted by jojobear | Posted on March 30, 2008 8:38 AM
So funny! I love your recaps. I didn't get to watch this show till yesterday so i had to come read your recap right away.
If Shayne is so popular and important that she has been to Vegas "a thousand times) (she's only 22 right?) and is used to getting millions of roses, then why does she need to be on this show? Unlucky in love? I find that so hard to believe! And I especially would hope she's not trying to drum up interest in her lackluster "acting" career by being on this show. She sucks.
Leelee is awful. I laughed at how one 25 year old talked about how immature 22 year old Leelee was, but she did seem pretty pathetic. It didn't seem like Matt was too turned off by her throwing the rose in the other girl's faces.
I may be wrong, but I think Carri's profession was listed as "church marketing" -- I wonder if she helps to market churches by showing her gigantic sharp-toothed beer crushing capabilities.
7 of 13 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on March 30, 2008 11:01 AM
another gut busting recap. hate the show. love your recaps!!
8 of 13 | Posted by bjzollinger | Posted on March 30, 2008 10:26 PM
Hello!
Thanks so much for your awesome comments. I love, Love, LOVE hearing from you.
So it sounds like we are in agreement regarding Leelee and Shayne. Shayne, by the way, keeps BEGGING Matt to forget about her being an actress - it's just her JOB! Yeah, no better way to make people forget than by constantly bringing it up. I don't hear anyone else talking about it, sweetie. Plus, I've never even heard of her. I think this Bachelor gig is the most exposure she's ever gotten.
As for Matt being out and about in LA, I wouldn't be surprised if it's in his contract. Those sneaky ABC producers - always trying to trick us...
Stay tuned for much more ridiculousity!
Much love,
-HG :)
9 of 13 | Posted by Honey Gangsta | Posted on March 30, 2008 10:26 PM
OMG, Deaf Dog got a mention in HG's recap! His input on tonight's show is that Robin is very scary, especially her crazy eyes. Also, he likes Shayne since he can't hear all the crazy stuff coming out of her mouth.
10 of 13 | Posted by lucy990 | Posted on March 31, 2008 7:59 PM
The fashion show as a date was weird. Plain and simple. Too much time for Matt to wait for the girls to get ready, and then for what? To watch them nervously try to show off? Weird.
Marshana is bizarro herself - she's so full of it and she's not that cute.
Its so funny too, this little song and dance they do with the one black woman every season (except last). I'd really like to see a more diverse group of women, I mean, don't some men have Asian fetishes? And how about a Latina or an Indian woman??? Why are they so obviously appeasing a stereotype and throwing in ONE black woman?
"he just kept going – song after song. My mom told me I should have joined in" That's awesome...join in. I am now picturing Matt singing "I want to find you, I want you to find me..." with his eyes closed in synchronicity with Michelle. Yep, its awesome!
In contrast - Vegas is like the best date idea EVER! I would have liked to been on that date, and take my thousand bucks and bet the house that Matt "never thought it would be this difficult" or that he "can really see himself with one of these women" or that Chris will announce at least 5 times this season "coming up...its the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER!!!!!!"
Amazing recap and even more amazing are the captions - louvre it.
11 of 13 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on March 31, 2008 9:43 PM
2 more things - I KNEW he would pick Shayne despite him being turned off by her dramatic effect simply because he's under the impression that she's way out of his league looks wise. No brainer. Hands down, I knew that was totally going to happen. In fact, I wouldn't be one bit shocked if she's still around in the final 3.
Second - I've actually seen this with my own eyes work magically: “I am trying so hard not to kiss you right now.”
12 of 13 | Posted by gnomecorp | Posted on March 31, 2008 9:55 PM
HoneyG, I love your recaps! I swore I would wean myself off of this show but now I can't!
Gnomecorp, I'm totally with you on the "Token Sista Gurl" thing. I'm dying to know if this is the farthest a black woman has ever gotten in the competition, because it seems to me like they always get booted the first night.
I've seen them include Latinas, Asians and Indian women on prior shows...alas, the white boys ABC picks aren't ready for a little flavor and get rid of them pretty quickly. "The heart wants what it wants", I guess.
13 of 13 | Posted by Snarky | Posted on April 2, 2008 1:04 PM