He asks Shayne to read it and she has to sound out a few of the words, even saying "fargo" instead of "forgo," but we get the picture. She pretends to hesitate for a moment thinking about it, but then she [practically] rips her clothes off and they run to the suite. It's all cutsied-out with rose petals strewn everywhere and they even get a private pool, which they immediately hop into and Shayne immediately mounts Matt. Matt says that the only thing stopping this from being the most wonderful moment ever is that he still has to go on dates with the other two girls. Yeah, there's nothing like spending time with an intelligent, independent and "inter-lectural" woman.
Next up is Amanda and Matt spends some time blabbing into the camera - basically trying to remind himself why on earth he ever gave her the First Impression Rose. Amanda tells us that she can't stop thinking about Matt and that he is the one she's been waiting for.
"He's like, really cute."
The first activity is zip lining and Matt tells us that he and Amanda both have a terrible fear of heights so it will be really sexy to conquer that fear together. Oh yes it will. I can't wait to watch! As they get harnessed up, Amanda starts meeping, so she must be super nervous. She says that she's going to zip line even though she's terrified because this is her last chance to prove to Matt how much she really cares about him. Yes, that will show him. So in an extremely sexy sequence, Matt and Amanda overcome their fear of heights by zip lining!
Later Amanda tells us that she feels woozy around Matt. I don't think woozy is a good thing. It's like being car sick. She thinks the sexiest part of dating someone is being able to have a real conversation. Indeed. I hear that's what Matt thinks, too. That's why Shayne's come so far. Amanda is actually worried that Matt might not offer her the Fantasy Suite Card, because with guys you just never know. They often pass up the chance to have sex with someone they find extremely hot. Over dinner Amanda starts sputtering about how she has a hard time opening up emotionally, but she doesn't want to lose Matt because she was afraid to tell him how she feels. Matt wonders if she's never had feelings for a boyfriend before and Amanda says she's pretty sure she only liked her ex-boyfriends as friends, so that clears it all up for Matt. He's the first guy she's ever like-liked!
"Yeah, the other boys were icky."
And speaking of like, Amanda says, "Like, I really feel like you're the guy that like, I could be with for... forever. And like, you have everything I'm looking for, plus I like, get this feeling... wah wah wah like, wah wah wah." Did someone just transfer from Newport Harbor?
And out comes the Fantasy Suite Card. Amanda is so relieved to even be offered the Card that she doesn't even hesitate and immediately says, "Of course!" For once it looks like ABC has sprung for different Fantasy Suites so Matt doesn't have to feign surprise each time he walks in with a different girl. He and Amanda sit down on the bed and he tells her how much he enjoys being with her and that he thinks they make a great couple. Amanda says "like" a few dozen more times and she tells us she feels like she and Matt have had a breakthrough. The girls always think that after they've spilled their guts. Amanda is DEFINITELY falling in love with Matt, what a shocker.
Bright and early the next morning Matt sets out to meet Chelsea and to take her out on a catamaran. Matt says that his relationship with Chelsea has been a roller coaster, which makes me think of Mayo, but he thinks that they made some serious headway during her hometown date. They did? That part must have gotten edited out. He's hoping that she's going to show up all cupid's arrows and rose petals overflowing with romance. Well she doesn't. She keeps her hands in her pockets and seems a bit stand-offish. During their catamaran ride they don't really talk about anything and Matt says he's going to have to go ahead and use the A-word. "Awkward." The amazing connection they made in Colorado is gone. Chelsea is a million miles away and when Matt tries to hold her hand she won't even let him intertwine his fingers with hers! This is a disaster! Matt complains about getting mixed signals, which I find very rich coming from him.
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Comments (17)
amanda called him a douchebag. even if i were deaf i'd still know my douchebags.
1 of 17 | Posted by theinternetsensation | Posted on April 30, 2008 11:20 PM
Thanks, IS, for clearing that up, because I thought maybe she said "shithead". Good at reading lips, not so much.
2 of 17 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on May 1, 2008 3:41 AM
Douchebag! Hah! Classy!
3 of 17 | Posted by Scarlet | Posted on May 1, 2008 5:45 AM
lol.! Yes, she called him a douchebag, my fave curse word lately.. I've always wanted a bachellorette to use that word on the bachelor!!! I was pleasantly surprised bland Amanda did that...!
4 of 17 | Posted by duckncvr | Posted on May 1, 2008 6:05 AM
Is douchebag a curse word? I'm surprised they bleeped that.
This episode was weird for me. I don't get Cheslea AT ALL. I keep thinking every week she is going home, but he keeps dragging her along. Something about her is so awkward, like how she thinks hand holding is the most horrific thing ever. After their unfortunate day date, I found her little strip show odd. I thought the negligee scene was more skanky than romantic.
Whatever, I can't imagine him picking anyone but Shayne. Glad meek little Amanda didn't let Matt off the hook easily!
PS- I like, soooo miss Chrissy, Clay, Chase, and Allie on Newport Harbor! Like, will that show ever like come back?!
5 of 17 | Posted by lps6409 | Posted on May 1, 2008 6:32 AM
I, like, felt that Amanda's, like, talk at dinner with, like, Matt was SO painful. I knew he'd never pick her because of her hiccup thing. Sorry - but it's just too damn weird.
But I am more impressed with her now that I know she called him a douchbag.
Please Amanda - if you're reading this - you will seem and sound SO much more intelligent if you erase "like" from your vocabulary.
6 of 17 | Posted by C MacKenzie | Posted on May 1, 2008 6:59 AM
(1) how is douchebag a curse word and bitch isn't???
(2) CHELSEA wins Honey, I know it. *spoiler* my hubby and I enjoy nothing more than watching for clues in the upcoming scenes. You will see in the shots of the final rose a hand and he has the ring out. THis hand has nude nail polish and a thin silver bracelet. In watching them get ready chelsea's hand matches and her bracelet is showing.
(3) who else think the women tell all is going to suck? These girls were boring and stupid to start with.
(4) I cannot wait to see how shayne does in London. Girlfriend is going upset Matt's mum. She WILL NOT HAVE an american bimbo in the family. No way.
7 of 17 | Posted by lawyerjenn | Posted on May 1, 2008 7:35 AM
THANK YOU, Internetsensation!
I just re-watched and you are right! Too funny that they censored "douchebag." I wonder if that's the first time someone's uttered it on ABC and they didn't know what to do. But a douchebag he is, indeed.
Lawyerjenn - good eagle eyes! I, too have noticed the nude nail polish, but haven't paid close enough attention to ID the lucky lady. As long as ABC isn't up to any tricks, you may be right.
You guys crack me up!
Much love,
-HG :)
8 of 17 | Posted by Honey Gangsta | Posted on May 1, 2008 7:48 AM
Three cheers for Amanda for letting Matt have it. But seriously, what was she thinking when she signed up for all this nonsense?
Shayne's remark about being intellectual (is that the way you say it?) says it all.
Once again you had me laughing out loud HG. Keep it coming.
9 of 17 | Posted by malimar | Posted on May 1, 2008 8:36 AM
I have been thinking Chelsea for a couple weeks. I think all this ooohing and ahhhing over Shayne has been misdirection (Not that Matt didn't want to get an overnight with her all along).
So even before i read that spoiler above, i have said Chelsea. I also noticed the hand that Matt takes to put a ring on, and I actually thought "I can't believe Shayne wouldn't have huge fake nails, just like everything else."
Glad to see Matt like, got dressed up for the like rose ceremony.
Very funny recap. There is no way Matt is lasting with either one of these chicks.
10 of 17 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on May 1, 2008 11:27 AM
I was looking at hand clues to make comparisons, too. I hope ABC/Bachelor production assistants aren't stupid enough to show the winner's hand and think we're not gonna recognize the fingers/nail polish/extra jewelry.
They could be smart and just showing us a fake-out shot of Chelsea's hand...or maybe Shayne borrows Chelsea's polish and bracelet like she borrowed Holly's spray-tanner. :-)
11 of 17 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on May 1, 2008 6:23 PM
I'm a couple of glasses of wine deep (Question: What's better than Buy One, Get One For 5 cents at BevMo? Answer: NOTHING), so I apologize ahead of time for the following rant.
Shayne is the most fake, ridiculous, steaming hot mess I've seen in quite a while. And I'm a goddamn Los Angeles NATIVE, do you hear me? After all the earnest protestations about her not doing this whole thing as an acting gig, and her father calling her ass out last week, she instructs him on the art of faking a passionate kiss on camera? This guy cannot possibly be this dense. If she wins, the sound you hear will be a 27 inch television in California being hurled out a window. And by the way, lawyerjenn, I totally agree with you. British folks are NOT gonna be tryin' to take Miss Thing seriously. I foresee them giving her "mayjah" attitude when she gets there.
AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT THIS IDIOT SHAYNE: why would a youngish woman wear a horrible one piece bathing suit and Florida retiree floppy hat? I mean, WTF was that getup all about? Did you see the downright contortions he was reduced to in order to kiss her, or even see her face? That irritated me waaaay more than it should have. And yes, I don't really have a life right now. But let's continue.
I never, ever tuned into Amanda's Valley Girl tendencies until this episode. Drove me absolutely to the edge. She looked really hurt because I'm sure she banged the hell out of him and let him do all kinds of dirty things to her, yet he still dumped her. After listening to her, I totally, like, can't like blame him. (Reluctant twenty points awarded to her for calling him a douchebag, which to me was clear as a bell)
So, it's clear now that "amazing connection" on the hometown date with Chelsea means "amazing blow job", correct? She's really quite meh to me. And lps6409, I'm with you---any chick that strips off her chonies on national television, two inches from a cameraman and in slow motion, ain't nothing but a two-bit nasty ho. She didn't even do it in front of him, as far as I can tell.
Okay, I'm done. Great job as usual, HG.
12 of 17 | Posted by Snarky | Posted on May 1, 2008 6:57 PM
That rose ceremony was agonizing for me. I totally lost count along the way, and I'm pissed that that Chris Harrison guy didn't show up to help me out. It was like standing on the edge of cliff. Brrr.
They better not do that again for the last rose ceremony.
13 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 2, 2008 4:57 PM
Itchy,
You are FUNNY!! LOL
14 of 17 | Posted by mistichristi | Posted on May 4, 2008 5:02 AM
Snarky, thank you for commenting on Shayne's swimsuit...I'm no fashion expert but I thought it was the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Was it supposed to be retro or what?
15 of 17 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on May 5, 2008 3:31 AM
lawyerjen - I'm with you. I always look at the hand to determine the winner. Whoever is standing left hand to the camera is usually the lucky recipient. It looked like Chelsea to me. Guess we'll find out!!
16 of 17 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on May 5, 2008 6:27 AM
I've just read all of these recaps - and enjoyed them a lot!
I agree that at the rose ceremony both Matt and Chelsea appear to have just crawled out of bed after their fantasy suite date.
I even said, "I wonder if she put on her underwear for this. Maybe, Matt still has Stacey's and he could loan them to her."
17 of 17 | Posted by ak4212 | Posted on May 6, 2008 10:46 AM