[by Jaded Bitch]
And when I say dribble, I'm of course talking about the big basketball game that started off the show. The men were invited down to an outdoor basketball court where they met Jen and occasional host Chris Harrison. They were to play 4 on 4, with the winners getting a shot at one-on-one time with Jen, and the losers having to go on a group date with her. I don't know - I think the one-on-one time with her is more of a punishment than a reward. At least on a group date, you can run and hide, maybe catch a matinee of Mamma Mia!
Frenchy Fabrice and Harry Winston Doorman Jerry were chosen as captains. Fabrice chose for his team: White Ryan (who no longer needs to be called White Ryan now that Black Ryan is out of the picture), 25 year-old John Paul (who still needs to be called 25 year-old John Paul simply because the show and Jen can't get over the fact that he's 25), and Ben (whose eyebrows are screaming out for help). The other team, who were to be shirtless, comprised of Doorman Jerry, Josh the Virgin, Boring Wendell, and Keith the Welder. Jen oogled the boys as they stripped off their tops as though she were at a bachelorette party or something. Wait a minute...
The game looked to be quite violent and rough. Ah, just the way Jen likes it! The men pushed each other into the surrounding fence and into the ground as they fought for more airtime, er, one-on-one time with Jen. In the end, it was Fabrice's clothed team who won. The private dates were awarded to John Paul (who made the most baskets and who is 25 years old) and to Fabrice (who made the least baskets and who is gay.) Everybody else - group outing.
The date with Fabrice took us to the Cotton Club in Harlem, where the two lovebirds sat and enjoyed a surprise performance from... VANESSA WILLIAMS!! Yes, THAT Vanessa Williams! Ms. Nude Centerfold USA herself! WTF was she doing there?! This guest star appearance wasn't even advertised in the previews! To think that Paula Abdul has more pull on television these days... Oh well, at least Ms. Williams didn't sing that "Save The Best For Last" song.
Fabrice loved the performance! After all, Vanessa Williams was on his list of all-time favourite divas! Now, if only Cher or Barbra Streisand were to show up, that would've made his night! He did manage to reveal to Jen that he wanted a family and all those good things that come with it, like gardening, a nice house, a pretty little apron he can wear while baking cookies and waiting for the mailman...
Fabrice talked about a past love he once had, and yes, he said it was a woman. He then started crying, which caused Jen to recoil back in horror. "I just want to have fun!" she exclaimed to the camera, flinging her hair to one side. "I don't want to get too DEEP!" God forbid Jen that you actually have deep, meaningful conversations with these men, one of whom you may potentially marry! She then flicked her hair over to the OTHER side and smiled into the camera,"Gorgeous! Do you love it?"
At the end of the date, Fabrice ended up getting a few kisses in, causing Jen to feel uncomfortable and creeped out by the whole experience. "He was like, crying, and then like, he leaned in for a kiss, and then it was all, like, weird!! Is that hot?"
The next day, Jen babysat 25 year-old John Paul by taking him on a helicopter ride to a spa - apparently a parallel to her first date with Mr. Andrew "Failed Relationship" Firestone. Jen was amazed that John Paul ran his own company when he was only 25! She then realized he also had pubic hair and a driver's license! Wow, and he's only 25!
The two were quick to strip to their skivvies for a couples massage, followed by some sitting around in a pool and a feast of chocolate covered strawberries. Normally, this would be a nice and relaxed date to be on, but on television, it's just plain boring.
The group date the next day was a tad more interesting, and when I say tad, I mean barely. They all went to Central Park so that Jen could watch the boys play football! Wow, how fun. She did manage to chat with some of the guys privately however.
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Comments (13)
the closing credit scenes of everyone making fun of the pathetic garçon de fille fabrice made watching this painfully dull show worthwhile.
1 of 13 | Posted by cract-out | Posted on January 25, 2005 8:21 AM
These comments are very funny and very true, but I gotta tell ya, when you use the word "fag" we are veering uncomfortably close to homophobia here. Get it together, JB.
2 of 13 | Posted by Al | Posted on January 25, 2005 8:34 AM
My apologies, Al. I should've written somewhere in there that I actually am gay so felt it was okay to use. My bad.
3 of 13 | Posted by jaded | Posted on January 25, 2005 9:52 AM
What was up with John Paul's shoes? They weren't even black. My boyfriend insists that the no socks look is a very "rich guy" thing to do, but I reminded him he was wearing a black suit, with brown loafers! I even looked to see if maybe my TV was playing a trick and it was a blue suit, but I'm now convinced it was black. I hate that guy. I also think it's funny how he calls himself John Paul, but Jen calls him JP, because she knows she could never marry someone with two first names.
Also I do feel so bad about the whole Wendell thing, he's so nice, but they are totally just suppose to be friends.
Speaking of friends, I thought it was hilarious how Jen kept Fabrice around to rat out the other guys. She is so not interested in him, but now she feels like she has a sister on the other side, sneaky...
I'm rooting for Ryan or Ben, clearly Jerry is a total player (I also heard he use to date one of the Big Brother winners, he's a reality whore!!)
Finally, did I mention how much I hate John Paul and his stupid lips and how he talks out of the side of his mouth. I want to punch his 25 year old face...
4 of 13 | Posted by smithie | Posted on January 25, 2005 10:34 AM
PS I wish that they would make the whole show like the last 30 seconds, I'm sure all these people are much more interesting without editing them to be romantic. When will producers learn that "bloopers" are what people really want to see...
I remember the "bloopers" from Jen and Andrew's season and they were hysterical. Andrew was farting in the hot tub, and they were really funny and cute together. Whatever, I hate this show...
5 of 13 | Posted by smithie | Posted on January 25, 2005 10:36 AM
That's it, it's confirmed. I realized last night that I watch this snoozer of a show purely because of Fabrice. The man is a mess. I couldn't stop gagging when he and Jen played tonsil hockey on their one-on-one date. Excuse me, but was that his tongue I saw? Dear Gawd, he's part lizard. Now don't get me wrong, I'm personally holding out for a man who can lick his eyebrows.. but seeing those two smooching.. *cringe*
6 of 13 | Posted by Nixah | Posted on January 25, 2005 11:57 AM
Oops--sorry Jaded--I should have known that you were gay from your brilliantly funny sense of humor!!!! My bad, too.
7 of 13 | Posted by Al | Posted on January 25, 2005 12:19 PM
its very stupid that the american guys make fun of cutie Fabrice, they r more ugly, americans look more trashy, Fabrice is gay, so stop with ur pathetic comments (people posting, this site people)
8 of 13 | Posted by ryan_toujours | Posted on January 25, 2005 12:49 PM
Okay, Ryan Toujours, are you routing for Fabrice pour toujours? Get over it, and American's look more trashy?! This is gay guy going on tv to marry a woman and grossly sticking his tounge down her throat to prove his love! Il est tres pathetic! Why would he do it? So he can have a little on est toujours mieux chez soi?
Give me a break! And finally Ben, Jerry and Ryan are all way hotter than Fabrice!
Toujours,
Smithie
9 of 13 | Posted by smithie | Posted on January 25, 2005 5:17 PM
smithie I'm with you - why the hell don't John Paul's lips move when he speaks? It freaks me out! Personally I'm for Jerry the reality ho, or what's the teacher's name he's kinda cute? Anywho, they are all pretty sad (sigh!)But whatcha gonna do? Ain't nuthin' else on the boob tube anymore! Plus I'm addicted to horrible TV!! hee hee hee
10 of 13 | Posted by sarah | Posted on January 25, 2005 9:38 PM
How lame am I??? I actually like this show :-)I think Jerry's the best choice, Seems like a nice guy~~But I'm pretty gullible!! Sarah~~I'm addicted to bad TV too~~HEE HEE
11 of 13 | Posted by ME~~TOO | Posted on February 3, 2005 5:14 PM
Personally, I think we should all just get over ourselves and let Jen decide for herself. I mean, come on! It's her decision. John Paul is very classy and sexy except for them big ass teeth that stick out. Other than that, I'd be safe to say that I would date him. Jerry is secretive. Something's up with that cheeseball. Ryan is full of moles and Jp is the winner
12 of 13 | Posted by Kerri | Posted on February 10, 2005 8:13 PM
Personally, I think we should all just get over ourselves and let Jen decide for herself. I mean, come on! It's her decision. John Paul is very classy and sexy except for them big ass teeth that stick out. Other than that, I'd be safe to say that I would date him. Jerry is secretive. Something's up with that cheeseball. Ryan is full of moles and Jp is the winner
13 of 13 | Posted by Kerri | Posted on February 10, 2005 8:13 PM