And the next day the guys in the Bunkhouse come up with a master plan to throw a barbeque and invite DeAnna and the Mansion Three. Chef Robert puts on a flaming turquoise golf shirt and wears his collar up. I've noticed that he does this a lot - wears pastel shirts with the collars up. Is this something he learned in culinary school, or is he just naturally a faux pas? As they arrive at the bunkhouse, the guys give Chef Robert a chef hat and want him to man the grill, but he throws a diva fit and says he just can't do it; he's too stressed out about the big date tonight. Oh please. Take a Midol and put a freaking slab of meat on the grill. Things get weird from here. The guys basically just pal around with each other playing little games and for the most part ignoring DeAnna. Of course Jeremy and Jason are right at her fingertips, but the rest of them seem disinterested. Graham is doing a Charlie Brown act, moping around with his head down, and Chef Robert is drinking himself into a stupor - wise move with the big date coming up.
Okay, so this might just be water.
And in the middle of this nonsense, who is acting like a grown up and grilling up some steaks for everyone? Fred. He's not moping, crying, drinking, or groveling. He's just being a man and making everyone lunch. He's adorable.
"There seems to be an odd shortage of worshippers."
DeAnna decides to talk to Chef Robert and find out what his deal is. He whines that he thinks she already has her top three picked out and she adamantly denies it. He whines some more and DeAnna finally snaps. She pulls him outside and calls this meeting to order! And here is the rant we've seen teased since the premiere. She tells the guys off for not paying attention to her today and for being a bunch of jerks in general. She knows what they're going through and they aren't being fair with their constant complaining about the situation. Then she storms off back to the mansion. I would PAY to see the reversal of this. Can you imagine a bunch of girls snottily ignoring the Bachelor until he's had enough and freaks out? Hot tip of the day: Don't be the Bachelorette.
"How long till we can finish beer pong?"
Later Fred and Chef Robert pack their bags and head out to their two-on-one date. They join DeAnna at another mansion somewhere - apparently the one where they live just wouldn't do - and she has a dinner ready for them. As they sit down on the deck, she pulls out one of her standard questions and asks them to tell her the most romantic thing they've ever done for a girl. Chef Robert took his ex-fiancée (?) to Vegas and on a helicopter ride, and there are lots of rose petals involved, blah, blah, blah. He even says that it took him six months to pay for it. Classy! Fred listens patiently and then tells about a surprise getaway for an old girlfriend.
Precious.
Chef Robert sits DeAnna down and tells her that he thinks you can gauge the passion in a relationship by the first kiss. Oh, this is it. Time for his big move - his big swooping in and stealing the kiss before Fred gets a chance. This will surely lock down the rose. He grabs her face and says, "Can I kiss you?" DeAnna goes, "Oh! Maybe here," and offers her cheek. HA! Maybe if you'd put your collar down, Robert. Who knows? Undaunted, Chef Robert tells us that he still thinks he and DeAnna have a connection and "it could get naughty." Gross. Robert then yammers to DeAnna about what a master communicator he is - as well evidenced by this afternoon's pouting session. No one's buying this, Robert.
Now Fred takes his turn and he tells DeAnna how much he thinks of her and that he's very happy to be here for her. He says he knows she has a lot going on and that she's opening up her heart, but he wants her to leave a small area in it for him. Aw.
Time for the Big Decision! DeAnna makes her speech which ultimately tells Chef Robert he's not getting the rose and he is beyond shocked. She puts him in the limo and in his Ride of Shame I conclude that he's had too much to drink because he looks extremely drowsy and starts to cry as he tells us it will be a long time before he lets anyone in again. At least DeAnna made the right decision here.
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Comments (19)
I don't watch this show, but I love the recaps!
In the picture with the caption: "Do you want to hear a great story", whoever that guy is, I think he looks just like the actor French Stewart from the show, "Third Rock from the Sun".
1 of 19 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on June 13, 2008 6:40 AM
Oh yeah....and the Riddler.....SCARY!
2 of 19 | Posted by User Name | Posted on June 13, 2008 6:42 AM
I don't watch the show, either, but I really enjoyed your recap.
I think the show's premiss is fatally flawed. (Relationship 101: Men and women are NOT the same.) The men should be locked up and competing for meaningless sex without strings. Then you would see some honest effort. The way it is now, the winner is also the biggest loser. The real winner is the 2nd place guy, since he gets the max screen time without having to buy the cow.
I completely agree with your tip to women: Don't be the bachelorette.
My tip to men: don't sign up for reality TV.
3 of 19 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 13, 2008 7:22 AM
What's always creeped me out about the Bachelorette is that they present the guys in the beginning as all knowing Deanna (or whoever the current Bachelorette is) - from having watched the show - I can be fairly certain no woman wants any man that has watched the Bachelor!!!! I mean that is just wrong. Then they openly admit to having watched the show? For shame. Of course I watch it - but I am a woman ... just saying.
4 of 19 | Posted by eellsinoc | Posted on June 13, 2008 8:39 AM
Eh-hem. I am a guy. Hetero. Married. And I watch this show.
Although, I watch shows like this like I used to go the carny sideshows, I just have a real fascination with freaks. So, um, yeah, unlikely to see me on one of these shows.
Speaking of which, it'd be great if every year they'd round up the best freaks from these reality dating shows and put them in their own show. With a big cage.
Over at Tila's mansion there's a whole handful this year. Plenty of scum to choose from Bret's house too. Might as well throw in a couple of those That's Amore charmers. And Flava Flavs crew (I was actually too disgusted to watch that one all the way through).
It'd be great fun to watch. The only real slimeball from this show is that Robert creep -- I hope he keeps a copy of this too watch when he's 40 and on his second divorce...
I still think there's a scam on here-- Graham's a plant, he and Deeana are already together, this way the producers will be able to say that the show 'worked.'
5 of 19 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 13, 2008 8:50 AM
Great recap, Honey!
I was kinda rooting for Robert at the beginning, but he turned out to be a tool - did anyone notice the way he turned his head so the camera could catch his lone tear?
I love Fred - he will not be single for long. My guess is that he didnt have enough swagger for DeAnna.
And WHY OH WHY is Twilly still there?!?!? Its gotta be a comic thing, cause DAYUM.
6 of 19 | Posted by lexxi1129 | Posted on June 13, 2008 9:00 AM
I do have to say that Sean looks tons better with the haircut. In fact, I think he could go even shorter and look even better. But that's just me.
7 of 19 | Posted by wintersux | Posted on June 13, 2008 9:56 AM
THANK YOU, LisaMay! Before I read your comment, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out who he reminded me of.
Time for Graham to lose the title of "pro basketball player." He no longer plays due to injury. Does he have nothing else going for him that he has to resort to that?
And TWILLEY? Really? I don't get it, but at least I'm not alone.
Fred for the next bachelor!
8 of 19 | Posted by ThisShowRocks! | Posted on June 13, 2008 10:11 AM
Love all your recaps HG!
I have to admit that I see the appeal of Graham.
I don't get how Twilley is still there. He's just goofy. Jason seems like a nice guy, but just seems like a friend. Jeremy & Graham are both attractive, but I'd pick Graham.
I wonder if that was the real reaction of the guys to her fit.
9 of 19 | Posted by rt12345 | Posted on June 13, 2008 10:25 AM
I'm totally with you Honey. Why does DeAnna continue to keep Graham when she has to work so hard at it?? He pulls a hissy fit and won't kiss her and then she cries and she still keeps him? I really liked Fred too, he seemed pretty genuine. Twilley has got to go soon, I can't even look at him.
10 of 19 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on June 13, 2008 10:29 AM
Yeah weird. Not too sure what the big fuss was about at the BBQ. Needless fit it seemed to me. I think she was really lashing out a Graham but using everyone for the arena. It seems that in this whole process if anyone pays super focused attention to her and tells here something "deep" she likes him. Like the songs, Brian's was the best, but she picked the Joker cuz he held her hand on one knee in front of her. The basic thing is that she wants to be fawned over 24/7.
Even if Brian did pal around with the guys - he seemed like a really nice guy and quite handsome too. But again, no hyper-fawning, so pack your trash bags and screw.
Fred...the next Bachelor? :) Just some decent guy, low-key guy as the Bach? (kinda what they tried with that bob guy from the Trista Bachelorette). Unfortunately, if he was the Bach, they would just have 25 ridiculous whores thrown at him, per the usual. Fred deserves better, but who knows, he might like it, after all he's still a guy.
Ewwwwww and the Chef - he is sooo terribly gross. That sweaty, spotty face with his idiotic love anecdotes - blech! How he was feeling the connection while there was so obviously none.
Twilley should have been on his way out, but he performed a super-fawn right before the elimination thing, so he got to stay.
I'm still saying that that Jason guy still may be the last one. I think final two will be Jason and Jermey.
11 of 19 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on June 13, 2008 10:34 AM
I know, I know...I'm in the minority when I say that I wish these recaps were longer. I think there is so much more potential for making fun, and a lot of the more ridiculous moments are cut out (by default, I'm guessing). This is a compliment to the recapper, of course, because I think the stuff you DO write about is great! More! More! More!
I can't wait until more guys go home. I want the dates to go a bit deeper.
Yep, I'm invested in this season. Color me embarrassed!
12 of 19 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on June 13, 2008 10:34 AM
Great recap!
I'm a little distressed by how DeAnna just doesn't see that Graham is "Just not into you". Even that screen cap in the recap where she is taking his arm, he is pulling his arm away! The other guys need to fawn over her, but he won't kiss her after she begs, and she keeps him? He's just not that into you!
Plus, I don't get why the editors say he is a Pro Basketball player from SC, when he said very clearly he lives in NYC for years. I know they embellish the truth (I read somewhere that Fred wasn't a lawyer, for example), but why make this blatant editing error? Besides, he is too short to be a pro basketball player.
No guy is really impressing me, although I did find Brian appealing. And DeAnna doesn't look like she is having any fun at all: every date is like an interview with serious questions, every interaction has to have someone 'opening up'. No laughing, no being silly, no having fun. Ugh.
At least maybe she is starting to understand what happened with Brad -- he got swept up in it, did the job he was hired to do, until the end when he realized he just couldn't play the farce anymore...
And yet, I watch this...
13 of 19 | Posted by rjfrankel | Posted on June 13, 2008 10:57 AM
Two least favorite phrases of the season:
1. "I'm here for you." As in: "I just want to let you know that I'm here for you."
2. "I'm not gonna lie..." Robert the chef said it the most, I think. "DeAnna wants me to cook and, I'm not gonna lie, I like to cook." Or, "DeAnna picked me for a one-on-one date and, I'm not gonna lie, I like being picked."
Why would you lie, anyway? I'm not gonna lie, I hate this dumb phrase!
14 of 19 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on June 13, 2008 1:26 PM
let me get ths straight--DeAnna has a two-on-one dates, and is supposed to keep one, but gives both of them "You're wonderful, you're fabulous, but I have to let you go." and dumps them both. How come when Brad did the SAME EXACT THING, DeAnna went on the warpath, and whined in enough places to finally get her own show because dumping someone when you hadn't had time to develop love was so horrible to do to anyone? She is not allowed to complain about Brad ever again.
15 of 19 | Posted by lagitha | Posted on June 13, 2008 3:07 PM
Great recap and, I'm not gonna lie, great comments this week!
If I remember correctly, Chef Robert, when discussing his rose petal night, said something about the petals leading to the bed, lingering just long enough for me to conjure an image. ....YARRRGHH!
When she invited Graham to kiss her and he refused, she got mad. I laughed. At that point, I think I decided that he should win this thing. These two strange people deserve each other.
As for her hissy fit, I could see her point about not being the center of attention. On the other hand, she doesn't seem to handle 'not being the center of attention' very well. But it all fell apart for me when she told the group "you're all breaking my heart." How many times must we hear her utter that phrase? Beware to any man interested in marrying this princess. Get over yourself, toots.
The website abovethelaw dot com said this: "Fred (Greif) graduated John Marshall Law School in Chicago in 2002. He never practiced or got a "legal job" post graduation. He's a gym teacher at St. Catherine Labouré School in Glenview."
The show's producers probably slapped the law label on him. I can't imagine he'd lie about it. There's also a transcripted interview at nineofheart dot net that's worth reading.
lagitha, you are so right about Brad. And she booted Brian for Twilley. WTF.
16 of 19 | Posted by Memememe | Posted on June 14, 2008 2:05 PM
Great recap, HG! Especially the pic of DeAnna noting the lack of worshipers at the BBQ! I'm really enjoying this season... like others have said, it's a nice change of pace to have a Bachelorette instead. It just seems that the Bachelorette is more concerned with finding someone she really clicks with, whereas the Bachelor is always narrowing it down to the girl with the biggest rack. Sure DeAnna has her hissy fits, but I'd rather deal with the hissy fits of 1 girl than those of 15 girls. And I like DeAnna in general.
I don't think Fred would have lied about being a lawyer, either. And if he took the bar exam and passed, he technically is an attorney, even if he's not currently practicing law. The Chicago legal market has been crap for a while now, with lots of graduates unable to find a legal job, and unfortunately JMLS is one of the lower-ranked schools in the area (meaning their grads are a lot of employers' last choices). A lot of my friends who graduated law school here in Chicago in May 2007 are still unemployed. So it's probably that he couldn't find a job, not that he lied. :(
As for him working in Glenview, St. Catherine's is about two blocks from my parents' house... should I ask Mom to do some Fred stalking for us?
17 of 19 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on June 14, 2008 2:43 PM
I was beginning to like Fred too. Doesn't she have to give out one rose--you know, one stays, one goes. I think she broke the Bachelorette rules! Good sleuthing about his education/job.
I'm getting to be a fan of Sean's after seeing him on the racing date with his b-ball cap on backwards. He has a cute face. What's his story?
18 of 19 | Posted by suebee | Posted on June 16, 2008 9:16 AM
itchy, I'm with ya. Hetero dude, engaged, and I enjoy these trainwrecks. I'll admit I started watching this one cause I thought DeAnna was hot.
Now she irritates me.
"When I say I know how you feel, I know exactly how you feel."
Which apparently means, "you have no excuse, that sort of wimpering won't work with me."
Princess indeed.
19 of 19 | Posted by EZ Rider | Posted on June 16, 2008 2:51 PM