Waiting on the other side of the completely secluded swamp are the camera guys and about 45 crew members. But they've done something really nice and laid out a Fantasy picnic for the love birds. They discuss the riveting topic of Jason's eating habits and it turns out that he'll try anything once. That's so interesting! After giving some of their cheese to the fish, who will apparently also try anything once, they get ready to go kayaking - in the Fantasy swamp. It seems that they are both kayaking virgins, so this will be a brand new Fantasy adventure for both of them! They row themselves right into the dock, then almost tip over, then go under a bridge, then turn and kiss in the kayak - it's just so romantic.

Later at Fantasy dinner, Jason says he's speechless and you can just see DeAnna's head wanting to explode. Speechless is exactly the reason she gave Graham the boot, don't you guys get it? DeAnna says she was glad to see this new fun side of Jason today and Jason says he's glad she got to see it because he has all these different sides, like the dad side and the fun side... let's see what else? Anything? Oh well, DeAnna asks if Ty likes the beach. Is that the best you can do, DeAnna? Last week she asked Ty if he likes riding in the car - after giving him a golf ball. Methinks DeAnna does not spend much time with small children. Jason tells DeAnna that she and Ty are his two favorite topics right now and DeAnna squeals that this is the nicest thing he's ever said to her. Jason says he never expected to meet her - meaning that she's so much greater than he expected and DeAnna says that everything happens for a reason. At least she doesn't talk in clichés. She keeps kissing Jason with her eyes open.

open%20eyes.jpg

Shut your freaking eyes!

Fantasy Card time! Jason reads it and barely gets past the word "forgo" before tossing the card aside in a Fantasy romantic gesture and saying, "Yeah!" DeAnna positively cackles and they sprint away to the Fantasy suite. I think this one is the room that adjoins to the one Jason had last night. More open-eyed kissing then Jason pulls out some Fantasy jewelry that he bought for DeAnna. Then he thanks her for teaching him that he really can fall in love again because he really is falling in love again. More open-eyed kissing and DeAnna can definitely see herself spending her life with Jason.

waiting%20for%20Jesse.jpg

"Ah, here comes Admirer Number Three."

And morning number three DeAnna showers off the scent of Jason and heads back to the Fantasy beach to meet The Riddler! He is in fine Fantasy form running to DeAnna and scooping her up, telling her that she always looks sooooo hawt! DeAnna has some Fantasy horses waiting for her and The Riddler, which The Riddler calls "so rad," and they ride around on the sand and in the water. DeAnna is all giddy telling us about how they kissed, on the horses, in the middle of the ocean. Middle of the ocean? They were four feet from the sand, but far be it from me to interrupt the gid. It's another Fantasy picnic and The Riddler keeps thanking DeAnna for all her hard work, even though she's just as surprised as he is to discover what lies in the Fantasy picnic basket. The Riddler says something about there possibly being a Fantasy rock on DeAnna's finger soon, and they discuss how rad it is that they were friends first because if you can't be friends first then how can you possibly date someone? The Riddler says he's nervous and DeAnna says, "Why-uh?" Something about The Riddler brings out the Valley Girl in DeAnna.

riddler.jpg

"West-siiiiiide Breckenridge!"

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Comments (20)

Fayellis1:

In my fantasy, I get to go out and get trashed on Monday nights while Honey Gangsta is stuck in the house watching this trash so she can come back and recap it for my pleasure. Thanks for making all my fantasies come true! Honey Gangsta, will you accept this rose? @-)- Seriously, the whole fantasy suite thing makes Tila Tequila look like it is sponsored by Disney. I hope those roses come with Valtrex .. ewwwww

wintersux:

Maybe my hootchee-mama roots are showing, but I don't blame DeAnna for trying out the merchandise. If she truly wants a future with one of these guys, wouldn't she want to be physically compatible with that person?

Fayellis1:

To wintersux: first of all, winter does suck :0). Yeah, I understand trying on shoes before you buy them, however, I normally know which pair I really want and which 2 are back up. I honestly believe she only wanted Jeremy or Graham, and Jason and the Riddler were back up plans. It just seems unseemly to me. She may not have done the deed with all 3, but the show gives that impression which just gives me the eeeewwwwws. There would have been plenty of time for that after the cameras stopped rolling.

LisaMay:

I'm sorry but the Riddler is just fugly.

wintersux:

Hey there Fay! I actuallly considered making my name a hyphenate, as in wintersux/summerrox so I could be a bit more topical, but that was too complicated. Anyway, I also think from a feminist point of view, all the Bachelors as well as the guys on the VH1 "____ of Love" shows sleep with the chicks before they make their final decisions, so why not offer that option to the Bachelorette also.

dani2526:

Jeeeereeemy!!!!

Anyway, it was obvious that she was sending Jeremy home because he only got one segment, the others got the One Segment-One Commercial Break-Second Segment Treatment.

Anyone think that Jeremy was set up to be the next Bachelor? He could very well be successful given his neediness and all. Not that I'm dissin'...I'd like me some Jeremy-cake.

Hope my husband doesn't read this!

yankeesfan:

dani2526 - I was thinking the same thing. Jeremy will definitely be the next Bachelor!

rt12345:

Great recap HG!

I think Jason is going to win now.

I still can't get over Graham being gone and I was shocked that Jeremy was cut this week.

Looking forward to your recap of the men tell all...

ThisShowRocks!:

Wow, HG...you were all over this! Thanks for getting the recap up so quickly. I can't wait to read your recap of "Men Tell All."

My vote is with Jason, but no one has mentioned the previews for next week's episode.
Who comes to her door? My first thought is Jeremy. Anyone else have any guesses?

I'm glad Jeremy is gone. There's something so creepy about him. He's too needy.
And I, for one, found their date painful. Everything about it was just so awkward.
I really hope neither Jeremy or Graham will be the next Bachelor. I can't even imagine how excruciating that would be.

dani2526:

What preview?!?!? I must have missed that one...

Fayellis1:

Wintersux, you are right the men on those shows do bed the women, however, it is always the women who come out looking like a h__, s___, or any variation there of. I just think women's reputation takes a little more protecting. But this is coming from a women who thinks granny panties will make a come back so what do I know. I hope we have no more recycled Bachelors/or etts. I think this show suffers from the WOW factor new people bring. Recycling Deanna was a bad idea IMO. She got on my nerve during the Brad season and he probably saw the finished product and realized he did not want that confrontational demanding shrew, not even long enough for an US Weekly cover shoot. I too would eat a Jeremy sandwich. I thought Graham looked like a Happy Days extra & Jesse looks like he is waiting on a bus to take him to Job Corp

ThisShowRocks!:

Dani,
I don't know if it was after the actual "Bachelorette" show or "The Men Tell All" show, but they had a preview of next week's episode.
I can't remember all of it, but at one point, someone (we couldn't tell who, of course) comes to DeAnna's door and says, "We need to talk." Or, "I need to talk to you."

I've wondered if it was Jeremy since he jumped out of the limo and all. He just didn't look like he was ready to give up.
Haha..maybe he DOES go back to talk to her and convinces her to give him another chance..but he showed up on the reunion show so the twist wouldn't be given away.

I'm just spitballing here, but you get my point. There's alot of time between now and Monday to throw theories out there.

LoLo:

For people who hate spoilers, I don't want to go into any specifics, but there's definitely stuff out there on Bachelorette-dedicated message boards about who's at the door and what they have to say. Some of the theories seem pretty plausible (and backed up with screen shot proof), and if correct, will be huge drama that I can't wait for.

So there's info out there if you want it! Can't wait until Monday, and thanks for the fabulous job as always, HG!

juddfan:

I'm so glad to see the gasm behind Jason, whatever it is, I just think he's a sweetheart, and very empathetic, and she seemed rather smitten to me too! TG--I will faint if she picks Jessie, despite his assurances about a real job and the three kids, I don't see it . . . I wonder if they do put plants on this show, and then what happens when she falls for one of 'em (cough) Graham (cough) . . . pretty lame for her to carry on about that douche--her honey's gonna see this . . . .I'm just sayin', guess second best is good enough . . . Thanks Honey, can't wait for the fantasy Men say nothing!!!

wintersux:

Fay, I think my problem is that I've been married almost 20 years and I can only fantasize about hopping into the sack with a variety of men...Not that I would actually do it but I'm just living vicariously! :)

DP Hooker:

Deanna was a huge bitch on Brad's season too. Did everyone forget about her and Milk Carton instigating shit with other women and just being nasty in general? I hate her.

I was hoping a fantasy alligator would jump out of the fantasy swamp and eat her.

I can't see her working out long term with either of these guys. Looking forward to the Men Tell All recap because i think she came off looking even more terrible after that.

negativenancy:

That was funny when Jeremy showed up on the beach for his date and she asked how he was and he said "I'm perfect!" But maybe he wasn't so perfect in bed. Jason is a thousand percent preferable to Jesse, therefore I guess she will pick Jesse. Or maybe Brad will come back and she'll go with him. ewwww.

honey gangsta:

Fayellis1, I WILL accept this rose! Noisy kiss, noisy kiss. That is awesome.

Ok, I somehow also missed the preview of someone coming to DeAnna's door. I bet it's Graham... NOT. I can't wait to see who it is!

DP Hooker, fantasy alligator. That's why I love you!

Thanks for all the laughs and insights, guys. LOVE IT.

-HG :)

dani2526:

Shoot, too much estrogen tonight. First, "Sex and the City" with some girlfriends... THEN come home and seek out Bachelorette spoilers with too many glasses of wine over way too much time.

Someone pleeease help!

gnomecorp:

The comments on this post are the funniest I've ever read. They're pretty darn close to the amazingness that is HG's recaps.

My faves:

Jeremy-cake

I was hoping a fantasy alligator would jump out of the fantasy swamp and eat her.

But this is coming from a women who thinks granny panties will make a come back so what do I know.

To wintersux: first of all, winter does suck

but the winner is commenter #1: Fayellis1

WOW - peed my pants funny.

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