They take turns telling us about their blossoming relationship and I notice that The Riddler is calling her "D." At Fantasy dinner, The Riddler, like Jeremy and Jason, is ready to discuss some of the important Fantasy topics. He wants to know how many kids she wants and when, and it turns out they are both on the "Before 30" track, how rad. Then he asks if she could live in Breck for three months out of the year. Breck? Ah hah, he's abreeving the name of his hometown, Breckenridge. DeAnna worries about living in the cold and getting her precious feathers wet. She's also worried that snowboarding is such a huge part of his life and she's not sure where she'd fit in. Gee, what tipped you off, there, D? The hair? The talk? The snowboarding lesson, or was it the entire snowboard decorating motif at The Riddler's apartment? R tries to convince D that snowboarding isn't quite such a big part of his life as she may be thinking - yeah right. He actually has this totally realistic dream of being a sports agent - oh even better. Professions of love and fear follow and so D pulls out the Fantasy card. As was teased to death, The Riddler tells D that he doesn't know if he can spend the night with her before meeting her father. Like ANY guy would actually say that. PUH-LEASE. I could smell that set up from a mile away. Of course he bursts out laughing, says he's totally kidding, he could care less about meeting her dad, let's go have sex!

Jesse%20funny.jpg

"Good one - my dad! Ha ha!"

This Fantasy suite looks a lot like the other two, but it does include a Fantasy bubble bath. They sprawl on the Fantasy bed and The Riddler says that he hopes D is serious about wanting to get married because if she chooses him, it's so on. That's where he's at. I was a fan of The Riddler until I learned of some disturbing rumors about him being circulated in the inter-highway. See what you think...

Riddler Rumors

It's Rose Ceremony Time! DeAnna emerges from the limo in what looks like an electric blue towel - from the 80's. She reminds us that she let Graham go last week. Yeah, yeah, get over Graham. He sure got over you.

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"Is Graham back there somewhere?"

DeAnna tells the guys that her heart is breaking and then she distributes the roses. First, The Riddler. Then... Jason. Oh, the look on Jeremy's face is so sad.

Jeremy%20sad.jpg

Awwwwwwwwww

DeAnna leads Jeremy to the Rejection Bench to say goodbye. She tells Jeremy that he's perfect, his house is perfect, his dog is perfect, his family is perfect, and she would have a perfect life if she chose him, and she's stupid for sending him home because she would be so lucky. BUT, she worries that she might be confusing the "orphan" bond they share with being in love. Jeremy says he's very hurt and he's never had his heart broken like this. DeAnna bawls and says she's sorry while Jeremy says he hates to think this is the last time he will hold her hand. On his Ride of Shame Jeremy says he never saw this coming. DeAnna was everything he was looking for. He's so upset that he makes the limo driver pull over so that he can get out and walk around for a few minutes. That sucks. He seems really sad. I think Jeremy has been through a lot, and he put a little too much stock into DeAnna being the one to save him. So sad.

So! What can you possibly be thinking now? It's Jason, right? It has to be. Right?

I wasn't expecting much from the Men Tell Nothing, but I have to admit that there were some golden moments. Stay tuned because I'm going to write about my favorite highlights from that tender reunion.

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

The Bachelorette: The Graham-less Fantasy Sections:  1  |  2  |  3 

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Comments (20)

Fayellis1:

In my fantasy, I get to go out and get trashed on Monday nights while Honey Gangsta is stuck in the house watching this trash so she can come back and recap it for my pleasure. Thanks for making all my fantasies come true! Honey Gangsta, will you accept this rose? @-)- Seriously, the whole fantasy suite thing makes Tila Tequila look like it is sponsored by Disney. I hope those roses come with Valtrex .. ewwwww

wintersux:

Maybe my hootchee-mama roots are showing, but I don't blame DeAnna for trying out the merchandise. If she truly wants a future with one of these guys, wouldn't she want to be physically compatible with that person?

Fayellis1:

To wintersux: first of all, winter does suck :0). Yeah, I understand trying on shoes before you buy them, however, I normally know which pair I really want and which 2 are back up. I honestly believe she only wanted Jeremy or Graham, and Jason and the Riddler were back up plans. It just seems unseemly to me. She may not have done the deed with all 3, but the show gives that impression which just gives me the eeeewwwwws. There would have been plenty of time for that after the cameras stopped rolling.

LisaMay:

I'm sorry but the Riddler is just fugly.

wintersux:

Hey there Fay! I actuallly considered making my name a hyphenate, as in wintersux/summerrox so I could be a bit more topical, but that was too complicated. Anyway, I also think from a feminist point of view, all the Bachelors as well as the guys on the VH1 "____ of Love" shows sleep with the chicks before they make their final decisions, so why not offer that option to the Bachelorette also.

dani2526:

Jeeeereeemy!!!!

Anyway, it was obvious that she was sending Jeremy home because he only got one segment, the others got the One Segment-One Commercial Break-Second Segment Treatment.

Anyone think that Jeremy was set up to be the next Bachelor? He could very well be successful given his neediness and all. Not that I'm dissin'...I'd like me some Jeremy-cake.

Hope my husband doesn't read this!

yankeesfan:

dani2526 - I was thinking the same thing. Jeremy will definitely be the next Bachelor!

rt12345:

Great recap HG!

I think Jason is going to win now.

I still can't get over Graham being gone and I was shocked that Jeremy was cut this week.

Looking forward to your recap of the men tell all...

ThisShowRocks!:

Wow, HG...you were all over this! Thanks for getting the recap up so quickly. I can't wait to read your recap of "Men Tell All."

My vote is with Jason, but no one has mentioned the previews for next week's episode.
Who comes to her door? My first thought is Jeremy. Anyone else have any guesses?

I'm glad Jeremy is gone. There's something so creepy about him. He's too needy.
And I, for one, found their date painful. Everything about it was just so awkward.
I really hope neither Jeremy or Graham will be the next Bachelor. I can't even imagine how excruciating that would be.

dani2526:

What preview?!?!? I must have missed that one...

Fayellis1:

Wintersux, you are right the men on those shows do bed the women, however, it is always the women who come out looking like a h__, s___, or any variation there of. I just think women's reputation takes a little more protecting. But this is coming from a women who thinks granny panties will make a come back so what do I know. I hope we have no more recycled Bachelors/or etts. I think this show suffers from the WOW factor new people bring. Recycling Deanna was a bad idea IMO. She got on my nerve during the Brad season and he probably saw the finished product and realized he did not want that confrontational demanding shrew, not even long enough for an US Weekly cover shoot. I too would eat a Jeremy sandwich. I thought Graham looked like a Happy Days extra & Jesse looks like he is waiting on a bus to take him to Job Corp

ThisShowRocks!:

Dani,
I don't know if it was after the actual "Bachelorette" show or "The Men Tell All" show, but they had a preview of next week's episode.
I can't remember all of it, but at one point, someone (we couldn't tell who, of course) comes to DeAnna's door and says, "We need to talk." Or, "I need to talk to you."

I've wondered if it was Jeremy since he jumped out of the limo and all. He just didn't look like he was ready to give up.
Haha..maybe he DOES go back to talk to her and convinces her to give him another chance..but he showed up on the reunion show so the twist wouldn't be given away.

I'm just spitballing here, but you get my point. There's alot of time between now and Monday to throw theories out there.

LoLo:

For people who hate spoilers, I don't want to go into any specifics, but there's definitely stuff out there on Bachelorette-dedicated message boards about who's at the door and what they have to say. Some of the theories seem pretty plausible (and backed up with screen shot proof), and if correct, will be huge drama that I can't wait for.

So there's info out there if you want it! Can't wait until Monday, and thanks for the fabulous job as always, HG!

juddfan:

I'm so glad to see the gasm behind Jason, whatever it is, I just think he's a sweetheart, and very empathetic, and she seemed rather smitten to me too! TG--I will faint if she picks Jessie, despite his assurances about a real job and the three kids, I don't see it . . . I wonder if they do put plants on this show, and then what happens when she falls for one of 'em (cough) Graham (cough) . . . pretty lame for her to carry on about that douche--her honey's gonna see this . . . .I'm just sayin', guess second best is good enough . . . Thanks Honey, can't wait for the fantasy Men say nothing!!!

wintersux:

Fay, I think my problem is that I've been married almost 20 years and I can only fantasize about hopping into the sack with a variety of men...Not that I would actually do it but I'm just living vicariously! :)

DP Hooker:

Deanna was a huge bitch on Brad's season too. Did everyone forget about her and Milk Carton instigating shit with other women and just being nasty in general? I hate her.

I was hoping a fantasy alligator would jump out of the fantasy swamp and eat her.

I can't see her working out long term with either of these guys. Looking forward to the Men Tell All recap because i think she came off looking even more terrible after that.

negativenancy:

That was funny when Jeremy showed up on the beach for his date and she asked how he was and he said "I'm perfect!" But maybe he wasn't so perfect in bed. Jason is a thousand percent preferable to Jesse, therefore I guess she will pick Jesse. Or maybe Brad will come back and she'll go with him. ewwww.

honey gangsta:

Fayellis1, I WILL accept this rose! Noisy kiss, noisy kiss. That is awesome.

Ok, I somehow also missed the preview of someone coming to DeAnna's door. I bet it's Graham... NOT. I can't wait to see who it is!

DP Hooker, fantasy alligator. That's why I love you!

Thanks for all the laughs and insights, guys. LOVE IT.

-HG :)

dani2526:

Shoot, too much estrogen tonight. First, "Sex and the City" with some girlfriends... THEN come home and seek out Bachelorette spoilers with too many glasses of wine over way too much time.

Someone pleeease help!

gnomecorp:

The comments on this post are the funniest I've ever read. They're pretty darn close to the amazingness that is HG's recaps.

My faves:

Jeremy-cake

I was hoping a fantasy alligator would jump out of the fantasy swamp and eat her.

But this is coming from a women who thinks granny panties will make a come back so what do I know.

To wintersux: first of all, winter does suck

but the winner is commenter #1: Fayellis1

WOW - peed my pants funny.

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