Brian - the one who called Jillian "Hot Tub Harris" - yells out, "What's up, you sassy little minx?" when she walks into the room. If he gets a rose I will be so confused.

Kyle draws a Sharpee moustache on Jillian's finger (you know, so she can hold it over her lip) and tells us some of his friends actually have these permanently tattooed to their fingers. Oh dear.

Brian and Kyle engage in a pissing contest until Mathue (I think) "sweeps her off of her feet" by scooping her up and carrying her outside to chat.

Unemployed Wes claims that he came here for the prize, and to that end he plays Jillian a country song he wrote for her on his guitar. It's about love not coming easy.

Michael is in the middle of giving Jillian a break dancing lesson when Billbro interrupts and announces that it's time to throw down. Okay, I'm just going to say it. Billbro has Little Man's Syndrome. He's a fitness model for crying out loud, and he's like 5' 5". He gives it a shot and claims to win, but Michael is clearly superior.

Chris taps the glass, but instead of ending the party, he announces that the response to Jillian as The Bachelorette was SO overwhelming that they are now bringing out five extra guys to fight for Jillian. Well this is groundbreaking! What will they think of next? A helicopter ride??

new 5.jpg

"We've really outdone ourselves this time!"

Mike, one of the newbies, tosses Jillian a ball and when she catches it, he goes, "You ARE a great catch." Oh brother.

Ed, a newby, tells Jillian that his mom thinks they'd be a good match, but he'll be the judge of that. Just dripping with charm there, Ed.

Tanner P., a newby, has an out-of-control foot fetish. He is way too worried about seeing Jillian's feet and how they are required to look. Gotta love a guy with his priorities in order. And these people wonder why they're single? Jillian thinks he's cute - because she doesn't know about the foot fetish.

Jillian gives David the First Impression Rose for redeeming himself with a nice conversation after choking when he got out of the limo. The other guys are pissed, of course.

Time for the roses! But first Chris sits down with Jillian to go over the evening. Nothing new here. The only thing different about tonight's Rose Ceremony is that Jillian gets to keep 20 guys instead of 15. This is, of course, due to the new and exciting twist of having 30 guys instead of 25. Does it blow your mind completely? Me too.

roses.jpg

"What's this all a-boat?"

Here's how the roses go:

David got the First Impression. Then we have Jake (pilot), Jesse (aspiring Canadian), Wes (unemployed), Mathue (autographed hat), Michael (break dancer), Robert (who?), Ed (his mom likes her), Reid (who?), Simon (subtitles), Krypton (Kiptyn), Mike (she's a catch), Brian D. (Hot Tub Harris), Sasha (Serbian), Julien (restauranteur), Tanner P. (foot fetish), Mark (pizza delivery), Brad (who?), Tanner F. (another Tanner?), Gentleman, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight. When you're ready... Juan (from Argentina). That's it, guys! If you did not receive a rose, say your goodbyes and get lost! Thank goodness we've seen the end of Billbro.

Row 1.jpg
Row 2.jpg
Row 3.jpg
Row 4.jpg
Row 5.jpg

More to come from these lucky fellas.

Of course, the guys who were not called are completely puzzled and begin to question just how great Jillian actually is. What is her problem?

During exciting highlights of the upcoming season, there are helicopter rides. There are also costumes, including a very alarming glimpse of Jillian dressed like a pioneer.

pioneer.jpg

The earrings don't really go.

It sounds like they go to Spain, and it sounds like one or more of the guys may have a girlfriend back home. There are lots of tears, as per usual, and Jillian wears a very pretty pale pink dress on the Proposal Platform.

Lots to come! What do you guys think? Are you even watching this season?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

The Bachelorette: Canada Calling Sections:  1  |  2  |  3 

« American Idol Finale: Skara Wins! | Main | Keeping Up With The Kardashians : The Loose Skin Edition »

Comments (16)

Key Player:

I believe Jillian is from Vancouver, not Toronto.
:-)
.. just thought I'd also mention that not all Canadians pronounce 'again' as 'a-gayn', or 'out' as 'oat'.
It's common, but not always characteristic of Canadian speech.

Heh, I've heard some Canadians say 'out' like 'ewt'.

jennaboa:

Hi, Honey! Great recap, given what you had to work with. Footsie Boy? Ew. How was that guy not setting off the alarm bells because I was hearing bells, whistles, sirens and cow horns of "STOP. DESIST. TOSS THIS MAN TO THE CURB. HE WILL TOTALLY STEAL YOUR SOCKS." You know, I can handle the guy who occasionally wants to dress up in frilly nothings and prance around; wanting to worship feet is totally outside my realm of understanding, unless the feet are encompassed in Louboutin's Dillon pumps. And Brian, the guy who called her Hot Tub Harris? He's like an overgrown frat boy, which is worse than a foot fetish.

Did she not keep the winery guy? He was cute, well-spoken, not kitchish and his family owned a vineyard. Come on, that's practically stable in the Bachelorette Universe!

Instead, she keeps the guy who threw her a baseball and called her a great catch. I'm sure it took him years to perfect that line, too. I would get that ball disinfected.

NotWithoutMyTV:

Thanks, Key Player! That "again/a-gayn" was keeping me awake at night.

I understand that the word "pedantic" is pronounced at least six different ways in Pakistan.

itchy:

All Tanner P. needs is a pencil mustache and he'd be John Waters. Early John Waters. From the Desperate Living Era. The same guy who filmed Divine scooping up a pile of dog shit and eating it.

I was disappointed that the token nebish was cut since he seems like the only funny one of the bunch. Oh wait, sorry, a bit of stereotyping there. Pretty good line at the end though: "Maybe she just doesn't like awesome?" Sucks for him that he doesn't actually believe it.

Hard to believe she kept Hot Tub Harris... Maybe she likes to be spanked? The guy's already verbally abusing her and they've only spoken for five minutes.

I actually liked Jillian from last season. I'm sure this season will destroy that sentiment.

gnomecorp:

Yes, I for one am definitely watching. Do you realize that BRAD is the one who started all of this? DeAnna was his reject, then she rejected Jason, who rejected Jillian. I wonder which of these weirdos will be the next Bachelor.

I was personally insulted when they subtitled the Engligh speaking dude. That's a new low, Disney.

Such a funny recap - I loved it.

gnomecorp:

BTW - that screen capture of Jill's face at the rose ceremony is awesome. She made that face EVERYTIME she called a dude's name.

juddfan:

I watched this just so I could follow the recaps, sadly, I was sooooo overwhelmed by the extreme number of Loosahs here that I shall have to watch again.

I think Krypton, Pilot, and maybe Juan in final group. Just first impression. Can't tell who makes her cry with his cheating ways.

Simon was learch-ish, like Adams Family, couldn't believe she kept him, or Hot Tub--ew!!! There were a lot of voice overs that were making me leary of the men gathered there, but they were off screen going into commercial . . .

Billbro . . . really, and Wes seems like a total douche, bet he's the one with a GF.

Love your cap of the break dancer, I was hearing a slight ping on the ole gaydar, but just slight.

I bet the foot guy is a plant for fun and ratings, and she's in on the joke . . .

Still like her so far, and yes, she was amazing at making the exact same face all the way through the rose ceremony.

Thanks for taking on this extra long and bloated season, Honey!!! You're a giver!!!

welcometothepartypal:

I wasn't going to watch this season, i just tuned it for a few minutes, and this crapfest sucked me in again! i dont know what it is, but its good tv junk food. arggh!
A few things...
-do we really need to listen to her ask will you accept this rose? every time? so retarded
- Juan is creepy. And why is he saying he's from Argentina when he came to the US when he was 2? He's trying to play it up, its so lame. reminded me of Donna Chang on Seinfeld, liking the idea of people thinking you are worldly or something
- Jake is hot, unless he has some dead beat personality like that one half asian looking guy from Deanna's season, he should win
-2 Tanners? Really?
- Does David have dentures? gross

anyway, love your recaps!

sassysimo:

Honey, Honey, HONEY!! I swore never to watch tv trash again, but here I am, sucked into watching this horrible-like-a-trainwreck show.
The best part of all this? Honey G's recaps!! I watch so that I can howl along with the rest of your readers.
Helicoter rides!!!! LOL

pixielated:

Not only are these guys loosahs but most of them aren't even that attractive. I'm not picky but...bleahh.

I'm a little worried about Jillian's taste in men. After all, she "loved" Jason. And now the "Hot Tub Harris" guy. He wouldn't have even made it to the end if he'd said that to me. I'd have kicked his disrespectful ass out of there.

I think Jesse (the winery guy, and she did keep him), and Jake (the pilot)might be keepers. Maybe the non-douchey Brian...oh, she ditched him, didn't she? Hmmm.

I'm suspicious of anybody who has any connection to showbiz, so the break dancer and the musician would be no-gos for me. And a soccer coach...after Coach on "Survivor"? No way.

pixielated:

What happened to having "older guys" as contestants? I thought Jillian liked the more mature dudes. Isn't she about 30 or so? Some of these guys are in their early 20s!

Maybe the older guys have too much sense, or pride, to go on a show like this. They used to have older guys, didn't they? Like Byron.

gnomecorp:

welcometothepartypal -

The reason why she asks everyone if they'll accept the rose is because the show needs consent from each 'bachelor' in moving forth in the competition. There was a show in 2000 called "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" where some douche named Rick Rockwell picked a woman to marry without even seeing him. The controversy was that she didn't have the opportunity to not partake after a few rounds. So to avoid being sued, disney wants everyone's consent.

And the reason why someone who came to America at 2 would still hold on to their birth country's cultural identity is because even though that guy is probably very Americanized, he grew up in a household where his parents are Argentinian and raised him with those customs, most likely. Plus he probably has family in Argentina, and likely visited there, which does make him wordly.

bitchristine:

Not all, but some, initial things that come to mind:

Two Tanners...this place is out of control - think I am an aspiring Canadian as well (and that's bad).

Jake seems very needy and thus creepy. He made be feel nervous. did you know that he is a pilot.

I like Jillian (last season and so far), she truly seems like a normal person.

She must have SOME taste to have gotten rid of that Billbo. He was the most doucebaggish tool I have seen in a long time. At least she saw that right away.

second runner-up douchbaggy tool, the restaurateur is still around though.

No token black or Asian guy.

NotWithoutMyTV, I think I love you. I also lost a lot of sleep over that one.

georgiababe:

I have only watched one season of this show and that was the season where Trista was the Bachelorette - I believe that she was the one who started the whole "reject is the next Bachelor/ette" thing.

But anyway, I was planning to watch this, being Canadian myself, and then I just kept on living my life. The recap was good though.

Also, after repeating the words "again", "out" and "about" to myself, I have realized that I too say a-gane and oat. About, however, is not a-boat or a-boot. Fascinating, isn't it?

jiggyrodents:

Thanks for the "index" cheat-sheet at the end. Helps me to tell the generic brands apart.

kmaryh13:

Former Bachelorette Trista Sutter is now blogging exclusively for E! Online's blog "Watch with Kristin."

Every week read Trista's thoughts on the latest episode!

Go to E! Online and click on Watch with Kristin. Enjoy!

Post a comment

Post a comment

90