The Bachelorette: Trouble? Blame Canada!

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Toronto Vancouver

All right folks, this week on The Bachelorette, things are starting to get real. It was all fun and games before, but this week, things are taking a turn for the serious. Do you know what keeps happening? Jillian keeps sending guys home! Here they all are having a grand old time and yet guy after guy is being sent home in shame. It's getting real.

I have a great idea. Let's start back at the barracks with Chris Harrison explaining how the dates will go this week - that will be new and unusual! Three dates this week, a one-on-one, a group date, and a two-on-one. Roses at each, and the two-on-one will be Sophie's Choice.

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The guys are thrilled to embark on another exciting episode.

And now for the BIG NEWS. Jillian has left the building and is awaiting the guys' arrival in VANCOUVER (not Toronto) Canada, which is her hometown that I accidentally blasphemed in my first recap by calling it Toronto. I would be sorry, but eh... I don't really care. The guys are totally pumped and start packing their little bags. I have to give a small concession here and say that Vancouver looks beautiful. I'm not booking a flight or anything, but from the aerial shots it looks like a really cool city. Who knew?

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Squealing Jillian knew!

Jillian is dancing around excitedly in front of the Fairmont hotel wearing a very unfortunate dress. She's totally ready to show the guys what Vancouver is all a-boat. Especially since the 2010 Winter Olympics are going to be there. As the limo full of jerks pulls up she starts jumping up and down and doing her annoying squeal. Can she really be this happy to see these idiots? The guys are pleased to not be living in a cabin anymore because their hotel room is what Jillian describes as "wicked." She leaves them with a Date Card and hopefully goes to change her dress. Juan wants a one-on-one so that he can shine and "come out of his skin." Good grief, Juan. But alas, the Date Card is for Krypton and reads, "Let's cook up some love Vancouver style. Love Jill." Jake nods enthusiastically and says that finally here is a girl who likes the nice guys. Whatever, Jake. Have you taken a look around you lately?

When Krypton is dumped off at a park to meet Jillian, they run toward each other while she squeals. You know, Jillian's had a thing for Krypton since he stepped out of the limo. Did you also know that the purpose of the one-on-one date is to see how they interact with each other one-on-one? Neither did I. They're going to start out by kayaking over to a public market. Then they will purchase food there and head back to Jillian's place to make dinner. Aw. As they kayak Jillian suggests a race and then immediately begins to squeal.

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"I can totally see myself with someone who kayaks. Totally."

She tells us she needs to know that someone can keep up with her. Well Krypton can do that and more because he wins and of course claims a victory kiss in the kayak. The shopping portion of the date is absolutely fascinating, as grocery shopping often is. Jillian thinks it's adorable that by shopping together she and Krypton are acting like a real-life couple. They sit down on a bench outside the market and discuss the fact that Krypton spends a ton of his time on children's philanthropy. Of course he does. Jillian's like, "I'd do more of that, but I don't have time." To which Krypton backhands, "I don't really have time for it either, but I'm passionate about it so I make time." So there, Selfish Bachelorette! But to counteract her stinginess with regard to children's charity, Jillian starts throwing bread crumbs to some pigeons. See? She's kind to animals - that has to count for something.

Over at "Jillian's apartment" Krypton compliments the décor - good job, set designers! Then Jillian begins showcasing what a great wife she'd make by starting out on her "special sauce" for the homemade pasta she bought at the grocery store. While she's plating the food, Krypton comes up from behind to nuzzle her neck and Jillian almost has an out of body experience.

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Culinary school just paid off!
The Bachelorette: Trouble? Blame Canada! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

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Comments (19)

melange:

Did anyone see Dave kiss Michael after Dave's team won the curling? That was just... very european.

Also another weirdness: why is artwork in the guy's hotel blurred out? I guess the art dept. budget only extended to Jillian's fake apartment.

I want to know why the television media desperately wants to get people to wear hats again. They're showing up on everything from The Hills to Fringe, and I think Jesse was probably to asked to wear one. It's a conspiracy, yo.

nyc cookie:

Honey I love your recaps. I actually missed this show and forgot to dvr it--all because of my son's graduation from elementary school. GEEZ--couldn't they have had it when I'm a Celebrity was on! Anyway--does anyone know if you can see it online some place? Thanks, and thanks for doing such a great job with the recap. I am so sorry to hear that Dave and Juan are gone. Such high drama!
xoxo

WizeChiklet:

hey, HG .. easy on the Canada-bashing! }8-D
Don't you like us?

dani2526:

Great recap... any way to get more screen-grabs?? :) There were so many laugh out loud moments in your recap, so thank you for that!

Dave is such a creep...a total "no means yes" kinda guy...eek.

I do wonder why she asked Juan to leave. Could it be because of that weird interaction at the rose ceremony between Juan and Tanner ("stop looking at me!")?? Anyone remember that moment?

Honey Gangsta:

Thanks for your comments, guys!!!

NYC Cookie - you can watch the episodes on-line at abc.com. Enjoy your two hours.

WizeChiklet - honestly most of the Canadians I've known (which isn't many) have been great. I bash because I love. Also because you all wear your flag all over the place. :)

Much love!
-HG

WizeChiklet:

Awww, ok HG. I fergive ya, eh.

:-)

itchy:

Random thoughts:

I thought Jillian was doing the gotta-go-pee dance at the beginning of the show.

The wife and I never go shopping together, ever. That's why we're still married.

Apparently (yeah, I read the host guy's recap, get on witcha), Jillian's cousin (you know, the hot-looking gal who they never show enough of) was supposed to be at the cocktail party too, but that bit was spoiled by the foot fetish guy's 'revelation.' I'm thinking Jillian really decided to end the party just to keep her cousin away from the guys.

I'm still finding it hard to dislike Jillian though. Maybe because she didn't go out and buy inflatable tits and get a nosejob before coming back on the show?

NegativeNancy:

Jesse's hat: When my husband saw him in his dorky hat he asked if he had a growth on his forehead like AI's Matt.

I'm Canadian and I don't curl or know anybody who curls so... well, whatever. The producers should have had them play hockey eh.

I wonder how many times they said "here for the right reasons" in that episode. Could be an all time record. We need a Bachelorette statistician.

Oh, one more thing, the next Bachelor should be foot fetish Tanner, then he can choose from the feet of 25 beeyootifull women!

LisaMay:

no, no, no, the next bachelor should be beautiful Jake...... yum.

welcometothepartypal:

How about when Dave's cab was driving off, and he was like, "What the F**!" hahhahaha, what an idiot.

Obviously she kept FF Tanner to pump him for more info, which i guess is a smart move.
I think she really did want the other team to win, b/c it had Reid and Ed.
and Reid with those glasses? yes please!

Brenda Walsh:

When Mark and Mike were announced for the two-on-one date, my first thought was, "Who the hell is Mark??" How can I be watching every ep. of this show and still not know who everyone is ?

I think Jake is trying too hard to seem "normal" and perfect - he must go home and do something really weird behind closed doors.

juddfan:

ooo, so many thoughts . . . great recap, Honey, it's so perfect that you've been doing these for a while, I'm surprised you didn't dis for including a special note to say one will go, after he already said that . . .

Brenda, agreed, I thought the same thing, and I sooooo thought he was toast-surprise!!!

Negative Nancy, you're husband is funny!!! I hate hats, probably coz they make my head look funny, but I do, HATE, esp. Matt's array . . . I'd rather lick that thing on his forehead than look at those douchy fedoras!!!

Dave is a scary man, they should have plucked him from the ranks as a courtesy to Jillian--just wait for it, I sense a mug shot emerging on TMZ soon! Can't believe he called her a slut and said her tit's are hanging out and thought it was a game of foreplay. Creepy!!! Way worse than FFT!

FFT seems like a plant to me, someone there to entertain and report to Jillian on the down low . . . she should have brought on her friend to dig for info, once Wes started singing to her, maybe J would have caught on.

Did anyone catch the looks Wes was giving FFT--I think he only told FFT and clearly knows who outed him. It was a very evil, crow eating look, and if I had been there, I clearly would have known who the liar was . . . even if I wished it not to be so . . .

So sad Wes is still there, but I really hope they take his humiliation to huge heights and bury him in a pile of douche manure!!!

With Krypton, he seems to jump in and kiss as a way to block from talking or something . . . she's obviously in a twitter, and I thought her happy dance was cute!

My sense is Jilly likes a few cocktails, or something, coz she keeps going on about this perfect stuff. Ain't no one perfect in this world, and finding someone perfect for yourself is the best anyone can do . . . does she mean boring when she says perfect? Jake does seem a little . . . dull . . . but sweet--take him to some extremes and see what he does . . .

Anyhoo, thanks for the cappy!!! And we should all have a shot every time they say "not for the right reason"

BundleOfBadassity:

YAY for Reid, ED!, and Robby D. (Why the last name intial? I don't recall a second Robby ever being on?)
Which is kind weird to me... Considering they are all kind of DoughBoys. But Studmuffin-y DoughBoys at that.

Lizbot:

First off: Honey Gangsta, I accept your (semi) apology for the Canadian bashing...and the reason that we wear our flags everywhere we go is so we don't get mistaken for you guys -- not that WE don't love y'all,of course, but the rest of the world, not so much :)

Secondly, good recap!

Oh and Melange, I did see Dave kiss Michael and thought it was kinda strange (and a little scary) -- I don't think FFT liked that moment either...

Someone called Dave Date Rape Dave in a previous posting, and he seriously lived up to that moniker this week! Imagine if the cameras weren't there. I think Jillian was more than a little shaken...

FFT seemed more like a gay best friend to me than a suitor -- and I agree she probably kept him around to be her confidante/source -- he'll make a great gay best friend though!

Brenda Walsh, I too was like "wth is that?" when they mentioned and showed Mark. I swear he was never there before and they just slipped him into the mix for some unknown reason -- I don't remember him at all!

WizeChiklet:

Dave initially seemed so cute and bashful, but his 'real' face surfaced alarmingly soon. He is stalker material; delusional and aggressive.
I felt Jillian's revulsion as if I were in her place just then. I wanted to call in the goons to haul him off! Scary guy. Pathetic and creepy.

pixielated:

I think I remember Mark from last week--I think he was cool around Dave, for some reason.

I think all that "perfect" stuff is going to bite poor Jake. Jillian has low enough self-esteeem that she will feel like she can't live up to all his perfection. She wants him to be damaged, dammit!

Anyone who would keep someone who describes himself as a "musician"--and is a bad one, at that--is suspect as far as taste in men is concerned. If she finds a good'un, it will be by dumb luck.

Lizbot:

Pixelated: It makes me laugh every time Jillian touts her abilities to judge character...I feel like saying to her: Seriously Jillian? Do you not remember falling deeply "in love" with a douche named Jason and thinking you were just perfect for each other when you were last on the bachelor/bachelorette? Learn from history girl! Go AGAINST your judgement, then you might stumble into a good relationship, lol

cate:

I think the only reason Jillian gave FFT a rose and got rid of Juan was because she didn't want to seem like she was 'punishing' him for squealing on the girlfriend thing. The way FFT looked like he was about to pee in his pants, should have been his ticket to go. I'm sorry, but I have no respect for weak men. If you're going to be a whistle-blower, then take the heat like a man, not a wimp.
I really hope that what looks like a guy getting his walking papers next week, is Wes getting the boot. Can't stand him, I hope both he and FFT leave.

bitchristine:

Love the recap - thanks HG!

So what is going on with FFT?

Do you think Wes really told FFT that he has a girlfriend?

Or do you think FFT just made it up, speaking in generalizations / exaggeration?

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