We have to spend another five minutes going over the tragedy of Ed's early exit. Seriously, he must be coming back or they wouldn't be spending this much time on it. I remember in Jesse Palmer's season one of the girls pulled him aside and told him not to give her a rose because she didn't think they were a match. That was the last we heard of it. But now this is the scandal of the decade? You decide. Anyway Chris talks about a few of the other guys and Jillian repeats a lot of crap she's said already. The most alarming part of this discussion is that Chris says that because Ed left, only one other guy will get the boot tonight. ONLY ONE? This season is never going to end.

At the Rose Ceremony the guys are dressed down a little this week. They're all wearing fancy clothes on top and jeans on the bottom. Uh, okay I guess. Michael and Jesse already have roses and here comes a tipsy Jillian to distribute the remainders.

fist bump.jpg

"Props, brah."

roses.jpg

"Who wants to feel my butt? ...It's wet!"

Here's how it goes: Reid, Krypton, Robby D., Jake, Foot Fetish Tanner (the informant)... gentlemen, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight. When you're ready. WES. The Rooster.

Mark denied.jpg

Some random guy is really surprised.

So Mark - or the unidentified man in the back row - will be leaving. Good, I won't be confused every time he comes on camera. Mark tells us that he's been cheated on four times, so he has a wall up. And this experience has made him think about his barriers. He says he didn't come here to sell records and he doesn't have a girlfriend, but it's not up to him to get involved with Jillian's decisions. That's Foot Fetish Tanner's job.

Next week Foot Fetish Tanner shows us his underwear and Wes seems to make yet another declaration about the publicity he's getting out of this. Yeah right, he's not going anywhere. Also, Chris Harrison hints at some sort of impotency situation coming up on the overnight dates in a few episodes. YEAH RIGHT. There's no way they're going to talk about one of the bachelors not being able to get it up. Like this is the season they're going to stop being hush-hush about the overnights? Not. Buying. It.

So what do you think? Is Ed's early exit just another ABC ploy?

Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta

The Bachelorette: Jillian's Pity Party Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

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Comments (18)

pixielated:

Yes, it totally is. Sketch ball indeed.

WizeChiklet:

"And we should invite my boy Tanner to join us. Wouldn't that be killer?"

OOohhhhhh, I dunno: whose feet would Tanner drool over? Hmm, could be a tough decision.

Jillian's frequent statement about how this is hard on HER is really peeving me. SO?? Jeepers, I mean SHE'S the one with the 'power', get over herself already.

.. and stop squealing. I'm with ya there, HG.

briar:

Does anyone else find Michael too over the top, childish and annoying? He can't seem to speak one complete sentence. Either this guy's had too many Red Bulls or he's a giant poser.

Can you see this tool married with kids? "My dad's a breakdance instructor!" Insert fistbump/high five/shoulder bump/etc. here.

Brenda Walsh:

Yes, Briar, totally agree. Michael is super annoying in a "trying too hard to be funny" kind of way. Even before this week, all the previous yelling and gesticulating was getting on my nerves as well. I can't imagine she is seriously looking at him as marriage potential.

I can't look at Ed without thinking of Adam Carolla.


NotWithoutMyTV:

I like Jillian alot, and I really want her to find her Soulmate. I think asking guys if "they like getting dressed up and going out for a night on the town or just staying in and watching a movie", and sticking her tongue down 20(ish) guys throats will really help her find the one. She is super duper klassy.

I do not want Chris Harrison to be happy, however, because he is icky. I hope Chris Harrison gets pig flu and vomits for three days before expiring.

ThisShowRocks!:

It's funny, HG, you suspect Ed will be back.
That was one of my first thoughts.
Well, that, and how selfish can Jillian be?

Oh, and the internet rumor I heard was that Ed really had a girlfriend, and the job situation was a cover. I don't know how reliable that is though.

NegativeNancy:

This show is so fake. That's why I love it, it's looking more and more like a bad soap opera. But I am getting tired of the plane/helicopter rides, why do they get so deliriously happy every time? And enough with the ziplining/bungee jumping.

It does make more sense that Ed has a gf then that his big bad boss got after him. SO FAKE, all of it.

And whoa, are they doing overnight dates already when there's still 8 guys? Don't they usually wait until its down to 3?... Slut-ty. I like. Maybe that's how she gets over her utter devastation from Ed going home.

I wonder what the implied impotence thing is really going to be? maybe some guy falls asleep 'too soon'.

illinigal:

Does anyone else find Jillian super "squeaky" and annoying? She squeals like 20x an episode. Irritating.

juddfan:

Oh Honey, I can't believe you don't love the squeals!!!

I do think she's a bit of a lush, and perhaps too perfect means, doesn't drink enough . . . hmmmmm

I have one of those jobs that they would call me in Paris and tell me to come back now--they wouldn't fire me though, because obviously I'm needed . . . right!?

I will miss Ed's serenity in this bunch. Wes gets douchier and douchier--great caption on that pic with him, Honey!

NegativeNancy, I believe that was upcoming scenes for weeks to come, but I agree with all, lame . . . like a bach with E D wants to get called on it on TV.

Michael is wayyyy tooo manic for me . . . it's a no, but he might be fun in small doses. Also, that quick save on no dates in eight months . . . with a guy either . . . hmmmmm again!

So lets all drink everytime they say, Right or Wrong Reasons, This is hard, Jillian squeals, and every time they make out--I"m sure she'll seem sober by the rose ceremony after that!!!

melange:

Chris distinctly said "later in the season" before they broadcast the footage of overnight dates happening. So no, it's not eight men.

Also, everyone call Jillian a slut if you want, but it's actually a woman's prerogative to kiss everyone she's dating... a kiss reveals genetic compatibility for future children.

HG alluded to this on the date with Ed... I think the producers put in so many helicopter/zipline/bungee stunts because, basically, tricking your body into feeling it could die causes a huge rush of adrenaline and endorphins, which the participants confuse with a feeling of closeness and bonding. They have to artificially kick start these relationships somehow!

welcometothepartypal:

oh your screen caps are the greatest.
was Jake even in this episode?
i couldnt believe only one left, so ridiculous.

J-Mo:

Awesome recap, Honey, I'm as annoyed as you are by this stupid show and their super-fakeyness.

love, J-Mo :)

P.S. I think I knew it was true love is when I peed my name into a snowbank and my BF came up and peed his last name after mine. *sigh* I should be on this show, right?

itchy:

I'm rooting for the foot fetish guy to win.

Or at least make it long enough for the overnight dates.

Just imagine.

bitchristine:

The captions are a riot HoneyG! I too am always confused by Sienna Miller and that Mark guy. Although, Mark was a spitting image of one of the creepy McPoyle brothers on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".

The breakdancer seems like a nice guy, but he is too much. He would drive me up a wall fast. I think she asked the producers to arrange a dinner with him to see if he could actually sit down and converse and be somewhat of a normal human being for an hour in a restaurant beyond the caliber of Applebees. Guess he passed.

My husband who refuses to watch this show with me (gee wonder why) caught the last few minutes and wanted to know why one of the guys was wearing a big wool sack as a jacket. That was WES. That's funny.

I think you guys are right with them doing a set-up for Ed to come back.

Yes, HG, can't believe they only kicked ONE dude off - at least it was McPoyle.

FootFetish is still around in case she insists on pumping him for more info. The guy doesn't stand a chance. Although, I do agree the overnight dates would be great with him. He would just whack it on her feet.

She really has her blinders on for that tool WES - at least he didn't sing this past episode -it's like nails on a chalkboard.

I still do like Jillian though. The squealing bugs me though. She's 100 time better than that Deanna bitchface.

pixielated:

Itchy, Jillian could do worse than Tanner, and probably has (if she drinks like this all the time). Maybe she has a drinking game going, too.

The description of Michael as trying too hard to be funny, cute, peppy, etc. applies to Jillian. She is "on" all the time. Maybe it's the drinking.

Every bachelor or bachelorette has whined about it "being so hard on MEEEEE." It makes them seem so douchey.

itchy:

Actually, I think Tanner is one of the more genuine guys there -- he's got his thing, and he's honest about it and not ashamed of it. But he gives off too much of a gay vibe. Or a friend thing.

Okay, here's my alternative-guy (i.e., hates sports) hetero male view of the rest of crew:

The breakdancer guy is there for his career. He's way too young for her anyway. He's like that dork who does magic tricks at parties. He's looking for screen time.

Guys like Jake and Kiptyn (what a stupid name) are the worst. Tightass prisses, no matter how macho they pretend to be. And anyway, these two are ringers looking to launch a modeling career. Eye candy for you ladies (and 'gents') and boy toys for Jillian.

Rob -- has similar anger issues to the bug-eyed guy who was eliminated, only Rob's a little more subtle about it. She won't keep him anyway.

Wes -- hard for me to judge, since he plays it the way I used to. Girls are suckers for that kind of shit. Except in my case, I usually meant it. For a while, anyway. And I was always monogamous. But to deal with a guy like that, the gal has to be pretty damn strong emotionally (kudos to the wife for keeping me around all these years). Anyway, like he said, he's been open about what he does. Besides, EVERYONE who goes on these shows is doing it for the exposure. That's the very nature of reality TV. He won't win anyway-- and that preview is a redherring.

Reid - Seems like a normal guy, although they don't give much on him, so hard to know.

Wine guy. Boring. She's got no interest in him. With the other guys she never stops touching her hair or brushing off their jackets or doing that scrunchy face thing. With this guy, she keeps looking at her watch.

Ed-- yeah, he'll be back, he's the only guy with true potential there. I'm guessing he bailed because he finally understood that he was on a goddamned reality show and there was no chance of looking like anything other than a fool.

Anyway, he's only 29 -- only a coward or an idiot would throw away a chance at 'happiness' to keep his job at that age. So either he's an idiot and a coward, in which case he's useless, or he comes back and 'wins' the squeaky girl.

Although try as I like-- and no matter how much she tries to help with her squeaks and wiggles and scrunchy faces-- I just can't bring myself to dislike her.

User Name:

I have read so many theories about what happens the rest of this season...please humor me. Ed gave up his chance because of his "job". Me thinks it was because of another woman, with whom he went back and had it out with, now he's single and comes back to propose but I don't think Jillian goes for it. Jake {he's so cute} is the one who finally opens Jill's eyes about Wes, so he might find some redemption in her eyes. Needless to say, Wes won't be around for the FRC. I agree that Kiptyn is the one who isn't able to "perform"... he's gone, too. Reid is a little to neurotic and Michael is too young. SO... that's my take. They do refer to these situations as "spoilers"...don't be too surprised to even see Robby come back. Anything can and probably WILL happen. Can't wait to find out!

tokei2:

Well, guess I blew that one! Can't believe that Jillian kept the villian {wes} once again! Is it just me or did all of his family seem a little bit seedy? They were all covering for him. He won't be the one proposing... he doesn't care enough about Jillian to do that and what would he do if she said yes? Jake had no ulterior motive telling her that Wes had a girlfriend.. he was genuinely concerned about her. I think he really loves her but can't figure out a way to express it. Too bad. We all know it won't be Wes in the F2 and hopefully it's not Ed, either, because I'm still questioning his hasty exit and return. Reid? Maybe. I know one thing..if Wes is the next bachelor, I won't be watching.

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