Well I certainly called it because Robby D. immediately starts making drinks for Jillian. Will this be another Rosmo or does he have something else up his sleeve? Jillian tries to twirl a drink shaker and in her already drunken state just keeps dropping it all over the place. She says she loves Robby's fresh approach to life. And I think by "life" she means "alcohol." Bottoms up! After several cocktails these two retire to the caboose for dinner. See how they just keep mixing things up? Over dinner Robby D. confesses that his family has a curse in that none of them have been able to get married. That's something you want to brag about on The Bachelorette. Jillian's a bit worried because her eggs are getting stale and Robby D. is only 25. How does he feel about starting a family in the next couple of years? He says he's ready to have someone with him and all he needs now is to find a job. He tells us that love has no age and love has no job. Another ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Robby D. is going to live on love! What is a career, after all, when you are in love? With love all things are possible, including free rent, complimentary utilities, and groceries pro bono. LOVE HAS NO JOB. And neither does Robby. Here is one whose boss won't be yanking him off the show. How on earth is this genius still single? Jillian doesn't look impressed, but she does look increasingly drunker. She tells us she can't put her life into Robby's hands yet. But maybe after a couple more cocktails...
They go to "Jillian's room" on the train, which looks like a bunch of 7th graders toilet papered a train car. I guess that's "girly."Jillian suggests Robby start a bartending school. In other words, Robby, you need a job. Robby's like, "Nah..." Jillian decides through her cocktail haze that Robby isn't ready to support a family. What tipped you off, Jill?

The train slows down as Jillian gives a speech about Robby making her feel young and carefree. You know, like the good old days when you were a child and your parents took care of you and changed your diapers? She tells him she'd probably marry him five to ten years from now, but as for today, Robby's train stops here. And the train actually stops and Jillian puts Robby out onto the tracks as the other guys watch from the Idiot Car. Jillian whines that this is hard on her, so surely she'll need another drink. Robby erroneously blames his age instead of his unemployed status for his Big Rejection.

Later as Jillian pouts in her "room" and looks around for something else to drink, Wes sweeps in to sing his song and comfort her. Wait, no song this time, thank goodness. He just acts all sympathetic and cuddly, telling Jillian he wants more time with her and swiftly wiping any thoughts of Robby out of her mind. To us, Wes says the following: "The fame that I'll get from this... it's almost like I taste it and I eat it and it comes inside of me and it becomes a part of me. There's no doubt that this is gonna help me. I'm getting excited. This is fun. I've got records to sell." Then something about a hidden agenda and having Jillian wrapped around his finger.

At last! Some honesty! I wish EVERY guy would get drunk enough to tell us the real reason he came on the show, but it looks like we'll only be hearing from Wes tonight on this. Audience masses may claim outrage and offense at this speech, but I'll be honest, folks. I don't give a crap. If Jillian is stupid enough to think that this show would really fetch her a husband - particularly after watching our hero, Jason Mesnick and his antics last season, then I don't feel bad for her when stuff like this comes to light. I mean, wake up, morons. This has NEVER WORKED. And no, the pictures of Trista, Mr. Trista, Trista Junior and Baby Trista don't convince me of anything. THAT was the fluke and not the other way around. So boo hoo hoo to Jillian and Bachelorette diehards worldwide because someone finally admitted to coming on the show for exposure instead of for true, true love. Trust me, he's not the only one doing it, he's just the only one saying it. You don't think precious squealer Jillian had any alternative motives? Puh-lease.
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Comments (17)
Jillian is so frustrating. I call BS on that is what she wear to bed, puh-leeze. And when i've had a few cocktails, just underwear. Oh Jillian you are so fun and carefree! blech.
Why can't she just tell Jake, um yeah buddy you came on to strong and i don't feel the same way, its not that difficult.
I also agree about her outfits, what the? How about that big purple shirt with the belt. Not cute.
I think it would have been better if she just left Robby in the caboose and then un-hinged it.
1 of 17 | Posted by welcometothepartypal | Posted on June 26, 2009 8:58 AM
Ok I'll stop complaining about all the helicopter rides... PLEASE, no more trains!! I guess Jilly is wearing plaid shirts because she's Canadian and that's what we wear eh.
There is no way they were the only ones on that big long train they kept showing. Maybe Jason is the surprise who shows up at the rose ceremony next week!
2 of 17 | Posted by NegativeNancy | Posted on June 26, 2009 10:25 AM
ah, wes, I can taste bile in the back of my throat every time I see your face--way to get famous bud--this will work!!!! You'll be more loved than Jason after this . . .
I actually missed this epi, I'm surprised she kept Michael over Jake--I'm sure the family visit would have solidified or changed her view on him, and he's hella closer to H material than the bi break dancer . . . call me crazy!
Hope Kryptonite is really into her and not just being on TV.
Can't wait to see Wes get served!!! Juicy!!!
I do hope they bring Ed back, and frankly, if I was Jillian, with this lot, I'd be drunk all the time too!
3 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 26, 2009 11:02 AM
I read elsewhere that someone suggested FFTanner as the next Bachelor. Now THAT would be hilarious.
If he has 25 ladies, that's 50 feet he'd have to judge as being there for 'the right reasons'. Imagine his selection criteria! Deciding on whose families to visit is dependent on the prettiest FEET.
I'd just love to see that, AND how it would be recapped here.....
4 of 17 | Posted by WizeChiklet | Posted on June 26, 2009 12:54 PM
Great recap, Honey Gangsta. I mean, sure, I share your pain at having to watch this (hopefully you watch it without the commercials, like I do. It's only about 25 minutes that way....), but you're reaching a crescendo of awe-inspiringly bitter greatness. Can't wait 'til next week.
As for Wes, I have to believe that the producers (and Jillian) are in on the publicity thing. No doubt they're positioning him in the bad boy C&W. All he needs now is a good bar fight.
I definitely vote for FFTanner for next bachelor!
5 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 26, 2009 1:30 PM
"If they EVEN try to make next week longer than two hours just because there are five hometown dates instead of four, so help me I will destroy something."
And you know, despite having FIVE hometown dates AND Ed coming back AND all that Jake/Wes drama, the episode will be chock full of filler!
That's what I don't get about "reality shows." Supposedly, real people and real life are so damn interesting, but they still have to script half of it to be duller than dirt. And THEN they have to repeat the same 10-20 minutes of footage a gazillion times. I'm sure they have loads of outtakes and FFTanner footage and drunken partying footage that would be way more entertaining.
Bitter enough for ya, itchy?
6 of 17 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 26, 2009 1:57 PM
Here here on the bitchy crescendo Itchy, I agree whole heartedly!!!! Goooo Honey, you're the best!!!!
Pix, I believe they spend a long time splicing that shit up to give us coherent bitch edits etc, so I bet they don't use anything raw, as it may not give them the mis leading that they desire . . . does that even make sense--I need more sleep!
7 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 26, 2009 2:04 PM
ive never watched one eppy of this show because im so disgusted with the concept of it
but that being said i havnt missed one of your recaps - I love them! thats just testament to how wonderfully talented a writer you are!
thank you for the laughter you bring to my life!
xo
rebecca
8 of 17 | Posted by Rebecca1968 | Posted on June 26, 2009 4:15 PM
I am guessing this has been said many times, but Jillian totally has a new nose. I was getting a pedi earlier this week and there was an ad for the show and a picture of Jillian was in it with a rose. Her nose was HUGE, now it is still on the big side but not at as big at is was.
9 of 17 | Posted by jmportia | Posted on June 26, 2009 9:10 PM
Except...if one were to pay to have a nose job, why would anyone choose THAT nose?
I think it's more a case of the nose being permanently swollen from crying over Jason (or having to be around Jason) all the time.
On this show, her nose is in better shape because it's constantly working out, what with all the cute scrunchy faces...
It's like watching Nose Aerobics (TM) with Richard Simmons: "Okay, ladies, wiggle-twitch-crinkle-scrunch, wiggle-twitch-crinkle-scrunch..."
10 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 27, 2009 1:00 AM
Say what you want about De-annnuhhhh, but at least I wanted to bang her. This chick is nothing you couldn't find at your local lumberjack bar.
The show's concept is inherently flawed. Same bullshit lines about "falling in love", "being here for the right reasons", "ready to take it to the next level"... Ugh! These guys get maybe 5 dates with Jillian and they're supposed to be ready to pop the question? Then again, that's probably 4 dates more than it usually takes to get into Jillian's little maple leaf.
Wes is a cockbag, but at least he's an honest cockbag. I hope he wins. He's here for the right reasons!
11 of 17 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on June 27, 2009 6:33 AM
I'm not sure how Dirty can make derrogatory comments about someone he {?} doesn't even know. As for the posts about Jason coming back...all the info suggests that he and Molly are still together so I doubt that he will be the spoiler. Would serve him right though, to be the one ditched at the end. As for Wes, how can you say he's honest?!! He hasn't been honest with the one person who matters in all of this and that's Jillian. A**hole! Jake might seem perfect but what's wrong with that? He'll come back, show some flaws and maybe Jilli will have a change of heart where he's concerned. Kyptin? Not so sure where he ends up in all of this but...final three in my opinion? Kyptin, Jake and MAYBE...Ed.
12 of 17 | Posted by tokei2 | Posted on June 27, 2009 12:41 PM
Um, Tokei2? You do understand that TVGasm simply would not exist if no one here made derogatory comments about people we don't know, right?
Although I disagree with Mr. Sanchez. Sure, Deanna was pretty in the face, but her butt was scary -- in a "just you wait, in five years this thing is going to go supersize" kind of way.
Jillian, on the other hand, is the type of girl you do indeed marry.
Speaking of which, no one caught that comment from Reid about usually dating blondes?
That's Jewish guy code for "I'm still playing the field, not ready to get married just yet" ;-D
13 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 27, 2009 12:57 PM
No no Tokei2, as soon as Jake said that thing about Jillian reminding him of his mother, he was outta here. NOT a good pick up line. She'd better get rid of salmonella boy Reid soon too, as that could get old real fast in a relationship.
Also, you know, Jilly looks like Sarah Palin if you make her taller and give her glasses and red shoes.
14 of 17 | Posted by NegativeNancy | Posted on June 27, 2009 6:49 PM
I think most people totally judge others' appearances without knowing them.
Itchy, I don't think Dirty was talking about staying with Deanna for five years--he just wants to bang her.
It suddenly occurred to me that the inherent problem with this show is that dating is boring, except for the two people on the date (usually). Even if they're ziplining or riding in a helicopter, dating is just not interesting to watch. Maybe there's a little cute, funny flirting, but basically it is two people getting to know each other and blathering about "relationships."
15 of 17 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 28, 2009 8:48 PM
Pix--I never thought about that...yes, I suppose watching 2 people on a date could be boring...but this doesn't feel like watching two folks on a date at all: there's nothing that indicates that the two are getting to know anything past an ice-breaking question. I think this show would be much more interesting if we could actually hear the conversation, rather than a spliced two minute version of the same question over and over again. They MUST ask about families and habits and histories and dynamics, RIGHT?! THAT might actually be interesting...could be neat to see what dynamic would erupt with who and why...
16 of 17 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on June 29, 2009 12:04 AM
What is with Jillian dumping the guys and not walking them out? I thought when it got down to 8 people, the bachelor/bachelorette walked each person out to say goodbye in private. It's kinda shitty on Jillian's part to make them ask "why" in front of all the other guys.
Also, what is with her canceling the cocktail parties? That is a chance for the guys to hang out with Jillian, it's a time where they can be casual and not on a schedule, I think it's stupid of Jillian to limit her already limited time with the guys.
I don't know if you guys watched last night's yet (SPOILER!!) but when she sent home Jesse, that was the last straw for me. She does not want to find a husband or love. I don't feel bad for her at all that Wes is making her look like an idiot.
I think Jake is trying to be the next bachelor with his railing performance.
17 of 17 | Posted by winks523 | Posted on June 30, 2009 9:27 AM