As Jillian sits down with the mighty host, she says, "It's been a crazy week, but we've seen a lot of beautiful scenery." Wow. Great cue card writing, production assistants. When Chris brings up Wes, Jillian claims that she is positive that Wes cares for her deeply. Yes just like Jason did, Jillian. About Jake, Jillian says she wishes he could just relax and not feel like he has to say anything. Oh geez, earlier when he declared his love Jillian told him she's so glad he told her or else how would she know? I don't know if what I just wrote makes sense, but honestly, Jillian doesn't make sense to me and she is driving me nuts. Moving along. Jillian again says, "Easy on the h-word," and that she's not ready to break another two hearts. But she is ready to down another two drinks.

Jillian prances out to give out roses and whines that this is really hard for her. But she still has some questions! For one person in particular, and that person is Michael. She and Michael step out into the hall and she tells him she's very worried about his age. Michael tells her he's never had a one night stand, which I guess is supposed to prove that he's mature for his age. He also says that he wants to be a young dad and that all he's missing is his "forever person." Is that enough to convince Jillian? Back to the roses!
Krypton and Reid naturally already have roses and here's how the rest go: Jesse, Wes, gentlemen, Jillian, this is the final rose tonight. When you're ready... Michael. I guess he's mature enough after all. So that means Foot Fetish Tanner and Jake are history. Foot Fetish is confused. Didn't Jillian let him rub her feet? Didn't her show her his huge package? And now she's going to take her chances with Wes? What gives? Jake asks Jillian if she can tell him what it was. She whimpers and whines that she doesn't know why and she's sorry. Jake has no idea what went wrong. He might actually be the one most into falling in love in this process, but he's so freaking intense and caught up in the idea of this. But Jake doesn't leave without badmouthing everyone who's left and tearing up a little. Jillian is already over it and ready to get her hands on some champagne.

Next week it's back to America! Jillian tells the guys that their families are going to love her. Get over yourself, trophy wife. There's a nasty looking bubble bath and we have the misfortune of meeting Wes's band. Then Jake returns in hero mode (and pilot uniform) to tell Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend - in front of Wes. AND there's a surprise guest at the rose ceremony. Could it be Ed? Oh wait, as previews go on it looks like Ed comes back on the final episode to propose and throw a wrench in those works. I wish I cared. Actually, no I don't. But I am mildly curious...
So what do you think? Are you outraged at Wes's confession? Or have we seen it all by now? Any other thoughts? I'd love to hear them!
Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta
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Comments (17)
Jillian is so frustrating. I call BS on that is what she wear to bed, puh-leeze. And when i've had a few cocktails, just underwear. Oh Jillian you are so fun and carefree! blech.
Why can't she just tell Jake, um yeah buddy you came on to strong and i don't feel the same way, its not that difficult.
I also agree about her outfits, what the? How about that big purple shirt with the belt. Not cute.
I think it would have been better if she just left Robby in the caboose and then un-hinged it.
1 of 17 | Posted by welcometothepartypal | Posted on June 26, 2009 8:58 AM
Ok I'll stop complaining about all the helicopter rides... PLEASE, no more trains!! I guess Jilly is wearing plaid shirts because she's Canadian and that's what we wear eh.
There is no way they were the only ones on that big long train they kept showing. Maybe Jason is the surprise who shows up at the rose ceremony next week!
2 of 17 | Posted by NegativeNancy | Posted on June 26, 2009 10:25 AM
ah, wes, I can taste bile in the back of my throat every time I see your face--way to get famous bud--this will work!!!! You'll be more loved than Jason after this . . .
I actually missed this epi, I'm surprised she kept Michael over Jake--I'm sure the family visit would have solidified or changed her view on him, and he's hella closer to H material than the bi break dancer . . . call me crazy!
Hope Kryptonite is really into her and not just being on TV.
Can't wait to see Wes get served!!! Juicy!!!
I do hope they bring Ed back, and frankly, if I was Jillian, with this lot, I'd be drunk all the time too!
3 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 26, 2009 11:02 AM
I read elsewhere that someone suggested FFTanner as the next Bachelor. Now THAT would be hilarious.
If he has 25 ladies, that's 50 feet he'd have to judge as being there for 'the right reasons'. Imagine his selection criteria! Deciding on whose families to visit is dependent on the prettiest FEET.
I'd just love to see that, AND how it would be recapped here.....
4 of 17 | Posted by WizeChiklet | Posted on June 26, 2009 12:54 PM
Great recap, Honey Gangsta. I mean, sure, I share your pain at having to watch this (hopefully you watch it without the commercials, like I do. It's only about 25 minutes that way....), but you're reaching a crescendo of awe-inspiringly bitter greatness. Can't wait 'til next week.
As for Wes, I have to believe that the producers (and Jillian) are in on the publicity thing. No doubt they're positioning him in the bad boy C&W. All he needs now is a good bar fight.
I definitely vote for FFTanner for next bachelor!
5 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 26, 2009 1:30 PM
"If they EVEN try to make next week longer than two hours just because there are five hometown dates instead of four, so help me I will destroy something."
And you know, despite having FIVE hometown dates AND Ed coming back AND all that Jake/Wes drama, the episode will be chock full of filler!
That's what I don't get about "reality shows." Supposedly, real people and real life are so damn interesting, but they still have to script half of it to be duller than dirt. And THEN they have to repeat the same 10-20 minutes of footage a gazillion times. I'm sure they have loads of outtakes and FFTanner footage and drunken partying footage that would be way more entertaining.
Bitter enough for ya, itchy?
6 of 17 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 26, 2009 1:57 PM
Here here on the bitchy crescendo Itchy, I agree whole heartedly!!!! Goooo Honey, you're the best!!!!
Pix, I believe they spend a long time splicing that shit up to give us coherent bitch edits etc, so I bet they don't use anything raw, as it may not give them the mis leading that they desire . . . does that even make sense--I need more sleep!
7 of 17 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 26, 2009 2:04 PM
ive never watched one eppy of this show because im so disgusted with the concept of it
but that being said i havnt missed one of your recaps - I love them! thats just testament to how wonderfully talented a writer you are!
thank you for the laughter you bring to my life!
xo
rebecca
8 of 17 | Posted by Rebecca1968 | Posted on June 26, 2009 4:15 PM
I am guessing this has been said many times, but Jillian totally has a new nose. I was getting a pedi earlier this week and there was an ad for the show and a picture of Jillian was in it with a rose. Her nose was HUGE, now it is still on the big side but not at as big at is was.
9 of 17 | Posted by jmportia | Posted on June 26, 2009 9:10 PM
Except...if one were to pay to have a nose job, why would anyone choose THAT nose?
I think it's more a case of the nose being permanently swollen from crying over Jason (or having to be around Jason) all the time.
On this show, her nose is in better shape because it's constantly working out, what with all the cute scrunchy faces...
It's like watching Nose Aerobics (TM) with Richard Simmons: "Okay, ladies, wiggle-twitch-crinkle-scrunch, wiggle-twitch-crinkle-scrunch..."
10 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 27, 2009 1:00 AM
Say what you want about De-annnuhhhh, but at least I wanted to bang her. This chick is nothing you couldn't find at your local lumberjack bar.
The show's concept is inherently flawed. Same bullshit lines about "falling in love", "being here for the right reasons", "ready to take it to the next level"... Ugh! These guys get maybe 5 dates with Jillian and they're supposed to be ready to pop the question? Then again, that's probably 4 dates more than it usually takes to get into Jillian's little maple leaf.
Wes is a cockbag, but at least he's an honest cockbag. I hope he wins. He's here for the right reasons!
11 of 17 | Posted by Dirty Sanchez | Posted on June 27, 2009 6:33 AM
I'm not sure how Dirty can make derrogatory comments about someone he {?} doesn't even know. As for the posts about Jason coming back...all the info suggests that he and Molly are still together so I doubt that he will be the spoiler. Would serve him right though, to be the one ditched at the end. As for Wes, how can you say he's honest?!! He hasn't been honest with the one person who matters in all of this and that's Jillian. A**hole! Jake might seem perfect but what's wrong with that? He'll come back, show some flaws and maybe Jilli will have a change of heart where he's concerned. Kyptin? Not so sure where he ends up in all of this but...final three in my opinion? Kyptin, Jake and MAYBE...Ed.
12 of 17 | Posted by tokei2 | Posted on June 27, 2009 12:41 PM
Um, Tokei2? You do understand that TVGasm simply would not exist if no one here made derogatory comments about people we don't know, right?
Although I disagree with Mr. Sanchez. Sure, Deanna was pretty in the face, but her butt was scary -- in a "just you wait, in five years this thing is going to go supersize" kind of way.
Jillian, on the other hand, is the type of girl you do indeed marry.
Speaking of which, no one caught that comment from Reid about usually dating blondes?
That's Jewish guy code for "I'm still playing the field, not ready to get married just yet" ;-D
13 of 17 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 27, 2009 12:57 PM
No no Tokei2, as soon as Jake said that thing about Jillian reminding him of his mother, he was outta here. NOT a good pick up line. She'd better get rid of salmonella boy Reid soon too, as that could get old real fast in a relationship.
Also, you know, Jilly looks like Sarah Palin if you make her taller and give her glasses and red shoes.
14 of 17 | Posted by NegativeNancy | Posted on June 27, 2009 6:49 PM
I think most people totally judge others' appearances without knowing them.
Itchy, I don't think Dirty was talking about staying with Deanna for five years--he just wants to bang her.
It suddenly occurred to me that the inherent problem with this show is that dating is boring, except for the two people on the date (usually). Even if they're ziplining or riding in a helicopter, dating is just not interesting to watch. Maybe there's a little cute, funny flirting, but basically it is two people getting to know each other and blathering about "relationships."
15 of 17 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on June 28, 2009 8:48 PM
Pix--I never thought about that...yes, I suppose watching 2 people on a date could be boring...but this doesn't feel like watching two folks on a date at all: there's nothing that indicates that the two are getting to know anything past an ice-breaking question. I think this show would be much more interesting if we could actually hear the conversation, rather than a spliced two minute version of the same question over and over again. They MUST ask about families and habits and histories and dynamics, RIGHT?! THAT might actually be interesting...could be neat to see what dynamic would erupt with who and why...
16 of 17 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on June 29, 2009 12:04 AM
What is with Jillian dumping the guys and not walking them out? I thought when it got down to 8 people, the bachelor/bachelorette walked each person out to say goodbye in private. It's kinda shitty on Jillian's part to make them ask "why" in front of all the other guys.
Also, what is with her canceling the cocktail parties? That is a chance for the guys to hang out with Jillian, it's a time where they can be casual and not on a schedule, I think it's stupid of Jillian to limit her already limited time with the guys.
I don't know if you guys watched last night's yet (SPOILER!!) but when she sent home Jesse, that was the last straw for me. She does not want to find a husband or love. I don't feel bad for her at all that Wes is making her look like an idiot.
I think Jake is trying to be the next bachelor with his railing performance.
17 of 17 | Posted by winks523 | Posted on June 30, 2009 9:27 AM