Fantastic recap.......as always, but am i the only one who noticed that Graham (cute as he is) is a Brad look-alike!
Then like deja-vu from her season of the bachelor....He tells DeAnna that he runs a few clubs, she flinches....and then goes into the same old " I used to bartend too, blah blah blah flirty speech she gave Brad............me thinks Brad & Graham were separated at birth........and that DeAnna likely.....

killer job & funny too! Look forward to the next one.

Hi, B'ette fans! I'd like to go on the record now by saying Jeremy and Jason will be the final two, and she'll pick Jeremy.
Why else would the prod-ucers have featured them in those lengthy, symphathy garnering vignettes at the beginning of the show?!

As a chick from the Midwest, I was laughing my ass off at Fred's "Da Bearss" accent.

Great recap, Honey!

I predict that Jeremy, Richard & Graham will be in the top 3, with Jeremy as the winner, although my favorite is Richard.

Also, what was up with Greg and those red cysts on his body? Look like he had multiple nipples.

Sean reminded me of the karate teacher in Karate Kid...not Mr. Miyagi but the douchebag who trained Daniel's enemy.

I look foward to a snark-filled season of recaps!

Perhaps Robert tried out for Hell's Kitchen and didn't make the cut so he decided to try this show.

the oyster farmer talking about how he was giving her a pearl necklace was priceless.

Red cysts = acne = steroid use...allegedly, of course.

I also agree with a Jeremy/Jason final two. But, just to be a rebel I'll pick Jason.

I don't like DeAnna, I think she's sort of a bitch...and that Jenni with
the stupid laugh, thank god she is engaged to whomever the next guy to come
along was...but she prob was helpful...
OK, the thing about Graham from Texas (was he the basketball player who
owned a bar (JUST LIKE BRAD!! but he obviously hadn't watched the bachelor
bec he was totally surprised that she had tended bar for 9 years...hello?)
anyway, I totally didn't believe that "I want to start a charity for sick
kids" bullshit...ick!
Little Sean Penn surfer dude and the tiny one who jumped into the pool are
both too young and she's not all that hip...
she practically started crying
when that guy was a personal trainer from NY.
The guy who has the kid is too sincere and has this deer in headlights look
but I bet is totally her type.
The divorced guy WAY too serious, we should never define ourselves by our
failures...and he's a hairdresser and I thought the best looking of the
bunch, but prob like Warren Beatty in Shampoo he's prob "dating" every
woman's hair he is doing....
I liked the big doufus guy, Chris? who said he would never wrestle a bear...
and the geeky math teacher was also way too sincere and playing up his
science geekiness for my taste, those guys are a dime a dozen right here in
Silicon Valley...sensitive nerd, bah!
Hmmm, I didn't go nuts about any of them...I kind of liked the duck caller
southerner even tho he cried at the end, shows he was sincere...or
sincerely drunk and I think he did get thrown off by Mr Abs horning in...
and she was so offended that he called her like a duck I wanted to smack
her, get over yourself, you ARE a duck.
Greek guy gave me the willies, seen that type a million times before, total
mama's boy, think he's so handsome (all Greek men are totally stuck on
themselves) plus he said to her "Don't hurt him" I don't know if he was
talking about the rose or his heart, but I'm sure he's broken about 399,000
non-Greeks hearts already whom he sleeps with and then says, I'm sorry it's
not YOU but my mama wants me to marry a Greek girl!
Spero the actor must be Greek too, totally Greek name, tho misspelled...altho you're all too young to remember Nixon's disgraced VP Spiro Agnew...and a little too metro for my taste, but good for him for going with the goofy Buddy Holly glasses...
SO I guess i like the slightly used ones...guy with kid (altho what
happened there? divorced? killed his first wife? gay man who adopted? kid
seemed whiny and needy, ick.
Speaking of gay men...hello twilley wanting to do a dance off to West Side
Story...hello??? hello???? Deanna has no gaydar obviously.
I liked the Brian from Texas tall blond stud whom she called last...tho
don't know a thing about him except he coaches football or something.
Loved that that one drunk bastard tried to get Jenni to sit on his lap.
Chef from SF doesn't know how to dress (beige suits look good on NO ONE.)
the black guy was cute but she ain't goin' black, her little Greek family
would die...Greeks are the most racist folks in the world. (I lived there for a year)And their
descendants from Turkish Huns or something, not the original Greeks, so
whom do they think they are kidding!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so I'm only halfway through this farce...I mean, FAIRY TALE and already I'm cringing at the show and LOL! at your recap, Honey G.

Mansion of Desperation = made me spit out my water

Amen @ giving the Final Rose to Chef What's-His-Name (SF represent!) just for knowing his way around the kitchen. My perfect man would be Single Dad's face and personality with Chef-Boy-R-Dee's culinary skills.

Truuuue! @ Spero's shrewd move to make the blanket-hogging virgin look like a douche for keeping her cold. The easiest way a guy can rack up cool points on a first date is offering the jacket up for warmth. No wonder he's still a virgin.

I love watching how catty the men get when they're forced into a competitive situation.

Thanks for the shout-out, HG! :) The moral to the story is that women should do the choosing from now on, while the men just stand around looking pretty.

DeAnna seems much warmer this time around and not as blinky. I might actually add this show to my TiVo schedule. Btw, am I the only one who isn't feeling DeAnna's dress? I think it's the color and that 80's bow in the front. Screams Dynasty.

2nd half, here I come...

Jen-nayyyyy! *Forrest Gump impression*

I think Jenny would've totally been the next Bachelorette if she weren't already engaged (married?). ABC is probably cursing the romance gods for that unfortunate timing. I wonder if Jenny's jealous of DeAnna getting to choose between 25 guys? She looks like she's enjoying being on camera again (you can take the girl off camera, but you can't take the exhibitionist out of the girl).

So DeAnna's saying it's hard to get to know 25 guys and choose which one she wants to date? Is she starting to feel a little empathy's for Brad's situation then?? Hmm....

It's a bad feeling to dump someone and have to keep answering the same "But whyyy?" question. The real answer is "'cuz I'm not feelin' it" but that will crush them. It'll be interesting to see how well DeAnna deals with that guilt. Crossing my fingers for a "After the Final Rose" for the Bachelorette.

Oops, sorry about the liveblogging but they are saving the best (translation: worst) for last.

JERK ALERT LIST:

Donato = drunk ass (asking Jenni to sit on his lap? wtf?)

Chandler, aka Donald Trump, jr. = RUN DEANNA RUN!!! Too many things wrong with him to list. 2 words = Duck whistle

Mr. Abs = obnoxious

Pool Guy/DeAnna undies = extremely immature

Multi-colored jacket guy = *eye roll* I wish martial arts mullet guy kicked him in the head. Jenni likes him? I smell sabotage. DeAnna gave him the 2nd rose? Ok....I guess jackets decorated by kindergartners are a turn-on for her.

Twilley (thank God for the name cards) = here for the cameras and a lot gay

__________________________

I

Richard's hella cool. I wanna give him a hug.

Is the first episode of Bachelor/Bachelorette usually 2 hrs. long? They could've shaved at least 50 minutes, starting with the extended picking-DeAnna's-brain interviews, the previews before each commercial break, and the recapping after the commercials.

Poor Token Black Guy. Hardly got to know ya.

Acme, I couldn't disagree with you more. Sensitive nerds are the BEST! (I love my Silicon Valley geek!) And the duck caller is NOT sincere. He was fake-crying. That guy is a Donald Trump in the making. He even has the fugly combover 'do to go with his blowhardness. So a single father has to have killed his first wife to have full custody of the child? Wow, you have issues.

The only thing I agree with you on is that DeAnna's gaydar is malfunctioning. Twilley is totally gay. Yes, here in Silicon Valley/SF Bay Area, we learn how to tell the metros from really, really gay by the time we turn 5 years old.

The black guy is cute but I knew he was a goner from the time he stepped out of the limo. She gave him a hard hug (oooh attraction!) but Greeks are NOT marrying black. Her family would have a heart attack. If there were no cameras around, she would've done him in the dark...and taken that secret with her to the grave..or her bachelorette party.

Heads up everybody.....this is NOT a content spoiler so hopefully nobody kills me for this.....just heard that this amazing love story..hee hee.....will be 2 hours long EVERY week so make sure you've got enough booze in the house to carry you on our weekly journey to love.

hope it was ok tot ell that I just started posting & dont want to piss ya all off

Stuff I noticed:

Lots o Brad bashing for sure...it was kind of funny and kind of overkill-annoying as well.

Lots of tan suits that look horrid.

The dudes that had the opening montage are definitely the final guys.

The black guy got about one second of camera time. That duck caller was pretty weird - what was up with the looking off to the left when he got out of the limo? The guy with the kid who is probably the winner seems like he would be very whiny and overbearing as a husband - totally needy - that's first impression, I could be wrong. The virgin is annoying as all hell - he'll go soon. Poor oyster farmer got punted in the first round. Too bad Roid Rage guy isn't around, I would like to see him act like a total jackass for a bit more. The Greek guy Eric is super creepy. The nerd looked hotter with his nerd glasses on. The guy with the deep Chicago accent will grate on DeAnna's nerves - or maybe just mine.

Chris Harrison likes clanking that champers glass - he bangs it so hard his ginger ale tidal waves out of the glass.

oh and, Spero was ugly.

Blahblah...

I get your name now. I hope I never run into you since we both live in the bay area, I get the feeling I would lose my hearing listening to you telling your riveting and oh so enthralling view points.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Bob Loblaw's Law Blog

Great recap!!

After Donato yelled that Robert gave DeAnna crabs, no one added that Luke gave her a pearl necklace. That was disappointing.

The addition of Jenni gave the whole affair the air of slumber party, where one of the girls has a crush on an older brother of the hostess.

Richard gave her a Herkimer diamond. They come right out of the ground like that! They're really neat; found only in upstate NY. I like Richard.

Maybe DeAnna is a control freak and wants the virgin guy because she can completely mold him to her liking.

The Greek man really creeped me out as well. I would have kicked him loose in the first 10 dismissal.

I agree with everyone who said they need to cut out the Brad bashing. Enough is enough people.

Honey!!!! Yay!!!! more splendid snark to digest--and what fodder we have here!!!

Wish I'd seen this, but I keep forgetting, I will tune in tho--thanks for catching me up!

IT's sooo hard to keep track of them all so far, but I'll do my best. I'm gonna agree with jeremy, Richard--Jason gives my gaydar a ding, but I've not seen him in action--Hopefully she keeps Twilley for her BFF to help her hear the house dirt, and who he's pining for . . . LOL!

And gnomecorp, can we save the snark for the peeps on the screen--does anyone care about any of this!? I'm glad to have a place to write and share my insipid thoughts, but if it's not for you, just skip it, K? HEART

ps. From the pics, I wanted to see more of Donato, and I think token "other" raced man was super handsome--Greek or no, she should have given him some time before the curb kick! I did go to prom with my good Greek girlfriend (as friends) but it was still very dramatic picking her up, and her hiding me from her folks, so I do feel some of the profiling done here . . . but I generally hate that kind of judging . . just me . . .

juddfan - you just did what I did - gotcha!!!

haahah

I agree with juddfan about Donato. I cracked up when he said Robert gave DeAnna crabs. His ugly suit and crazy eyes only increased the comedy factor. I wish she had kept the oyster farmer a little longer, he was adorable. And I'm shocked because the Token Black Guy usually makes the first cut (but that's it).

Where is last week's recap?? Am I missing it somewhere??