And meanwhile at the castle, DeAnna grabs Sean and his mullet away for a chat. They sit down on a tiny couch between two pianos, but every time Sean tries to say anything, one of the pianos starts playing. Poor Sean. He's just trying to explain to DeAnna that there's more to him than roundhouse kicking lemons off of The Riddler's head, but to no avail. The pianos won't shut up. They give up and rejoin the rest of the fellas where another magician has appeared with a deck of cards. When DeAnna chooses one, it turns out that instead of a face card, there's a picture of a rose. DeAnna makes the guys take turns showing her magic tricks, but when it's Twilley's turn, he gets up and drones on and on making up a story about a princess named DeAndrea. Huh? Apparently this lasts much longer than any sort of appropriate interval and everyone becomes really annoyed. Richard takes DeAnna aside and makes her an origami flower out of a scrap of paper in his pocket. Then he tells her that he's made this flower for one other girl before. Smooth there, Richard. That's just what every girl wants to hear.
"I dug this out of my ex-fiancée's trash."
Outside with the other guys, Twilley makes the mistake of saying he's along for the ride, referring to this process of finding true love. The guys jump right down his throat, questioning his intentions and accusing him of not being here for DeAnna. Ryan sits DeAnna down and makes her a verbal list of all of his angelic qualities. When she comments that he's "good," he says no, he's just "different." Aw, and modest, too, right? He tells her he can't wait to be a husband and a dad, and then he tells us again how noble and wonderful he is. He finishes by telling DeAnna that he has the utmost respect for the other guys here and he would never do anything terrible like interrupt the time she's spending with one of the others. Just as this sentence comes out of his mouth, in prance Paul and Fred to do what? Interrupt Ryan's alone time.
DeAnna asks Paul and Fred to tell her something she should know, that doesn't involve wearing Speedos and being naked. Paul jumps right in about how glad he is to have the chance to tell her a thing or two. He may only be 23, but he's here for the right reasons and to prove it, he tells her he's been engaged before. That would actually scare me, but I guess that's only my irrelevant opinion. Paul thinks it proves he's ready for love. DeAnna says that in five years she sees herself married with a child and another one on the way. She wants to have her kids young because her mother passed away when she was little. That is so sad. I honestly don't know how people handle losing their mothers early - I can't even begin to imagine it. Anyway Paul thinks it is a huge signal from fate that DeAnna has a very similar five year plan to his. What? It's so vague - married with a child. You could round up at least half the population to say the exact same thing.
The card magician is back and he magically transforms the rose card into a boutonniere and wishes DeAnna luck. Despite every guy thinking he'll be the one to get it, it actually goes to Little Paul for having a matching five year plan. Paul gives a toast and announces that after tonight he thinks they all believe in magic. Ha ha ha. CHEESE.
Later, emboldened by his magic rose, Paul decides to brave the freezing cold outdoor shower - right in front of everyone.
I found the maple leaf.
Chef Robert announces he may not shower for a few days. Yummy - I hope he cooks something with his stanky hands. Graham packs his bags and heads out with DeAnna to get swept away at the shore. It looks like they end up in Malibu and I have to say that Graham seems a tad awkward. They attempt to fly a kite - "attempt" being the key word.
And at home the Mansion Three head to the bunkhouse with yet another Date Box. Chris, Robert, Brian, The Riddler, Ron, Jeremy and Eric. "A diamond is a girl's best friend. Step up to the plate." The best part about that note is that it said Ron Jeremy in it. Jason's mad that he didn't get to go on the baseball date.
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Comments (10)
I get the feeling you recappers are like human shields for the rest of us, catching all the goo and gunk so we don’t have to. So thanks!
The Canadian: Gay. Or just looking to get on TV. Or both.
The Riddler: Ditto. (Not the gay part, the TV part. I can easily see him as the dumb-but-well-meaning sidekick on a bad Fox sitcom).
Ron: Definite anger issues. Never trust a person with no lips.
Jason: I knew a guy with the same smarmy smile. Most insincere, self-righteous kissass I’ve ever known. So it’s hard for me to look at him, let alone judge. But there’s zero chemistry between him and Deanna anyway.
Twilley: Cannon fodder.
Science Teacher Guy: Possible surprise candidate. Probably the only intelligent guy in the group. And say what you will about Deanna, she comes off as not too stupid. (Pretty too, although she reminds me a lot of the heroine in a Disney film).
Ryan: Why is it that all the ‘Christians’ on these shows are the biggest snakes of all? Guy spent most of his time taking potshots, setting them up in front of the others.
Bearded Brad guy: Blind alley. Either that, or he and Deanna are already together and the show is designed around them.
The Cook: Huh? Looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy.
Bruce Lee with the Elvis haircut: Not a chance in hell.
1 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 2, 2008 12:17 AM
"The girls always boo hoo and wonder what's wrong with themselves. It's interesting to see the guys - they get really pissed off and wonder what's wrong with DeAnna."
This is like enough to write a thesis on.
Oh and seriously, you have to wonder about the people that go on this show. Men and women alike. How do say to yourself...I'm going to go on an ABC reality show to find love. How does that thought even form in your head?
2 of 10 | Posted by lawyerjenn | Posted on June 2, 2008 7:59 AM
HG-
Don't be too impressed with the home runs, they brought the home run wall in to half-field.
I like Jeremy. Ron's a douche.
I have to agree with Chris too, I would have been insulted to have creepy Twilley and Sean and his mullet stay over me.
Also, for making such a big deal of having guys live in the mansion we sure didn't see any of it, which makes me think it's not that big of an advantage.
3 of 10 | Posted by leenie | Posted on June 2, 2008 8:16 AM
Thank goodness that the recap came!!! Whoa, I was gettin' desperate!
I got really annoyed at Sean during his piano scene with Deanna. Bleh, he is SO uptight! It would have turned me off if a guy couldn't just go with it. If he can't deal with an interrupting toy, imagine how he'd be with an interrupting human! So ANAL!
I don't like Ron, either. He's got definite anger management issues. I wonder why she doesn't see that...yet.
I like Science teacher guy the best. I like Jeremy, too, but something seems a bit off about him. I don't know what it is yet!
Anyway, much to my surprise, I REALLY like this season. Two hours and all!
4 of 10 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on June 2, 2008 12:24 PM
Something must have been wrong with that Chris (aka Greg Brady) in order to keep a couple of those other jackasses.
Praise Jesus the bible basher is gone.
Ragin'Ron is going to go beserk.
The fugly Greek guy that thinks he is so hot got booted - serves him right, that egotistical twat.
I could go one about the other fellas, but I'll leave it at the douchebags that got kicked off and:
Puppy Dog Jason - it's like his friggin show. And I'm telling you he could be the last one standing. Ruff, ruff, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, pant, fart.
5 of 10 | Posted by bitchristine | Posted on June 2, 2008 12:55 PM
Does anyone know why Jason is a single Dad? It's not that common, so it sticks out...
6 of 10 | Posted by dani2526 | Posted on June 2, 2008 4:24 PM
Dani, probably because his wife dumped him for being an insufferable douchebag. It's the smile. Ick. Anyway, he didn't say he's raising his kid, just that he's leaving him for six weeks. Which probably means the kid misses a total of three actual visits. If he makes it to the end.
7 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 2, 2008 11:05 PM
Hey HG! Great (late-spank-spank) recap! I still didn't see this one, but I've caught up with this week. I'm with you on the 2 hours tho--Tivo was paused many, many times, and I had to push through to finish.
Ron was the biggest *ss to me, but probably the one I'd do in a dark alley. The riddler, Twilley and the mullet are, huhs!?
I don't have a favorite, nor to I particularly care, hope she finds who she wants, and I agree that Jeremy, Teach, Jason, and stubble are the front runners . . . .
8 of 10 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on June 3, 2008 12:32 PM
My favorite thing about Ryan was how overly dramatic he was. At the magic house: "If i don't get this rose tonight, I'm definitely going home!" then during the push-up competition he was like "I have to win this, i will win this." Then he promptly lost. It just made me laugh, and then the comment about friendliest 8th grader. Wow - I wish he was still on the show.
These guys are lame.
9 of 10 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on June 3, 2008 7:55 PM
Love the recaps, but I have to object to the bashing of Jesse or "The Riddler". Honestly he seems sweet, supportive of the other guys and overall there for the right reasons. Just because he's a snowboarder doesn't make him a slacker. He was on MTV's MADE where he taught a girl to become a snowboarder.
I'd rather give him a chance than Jason. Something about him just doesn't sit right, too needy...
10 of 10 | Posted by golfgirl | Posted on June 4, 2008 12:27 PM