December 3, 2009

The City: Spite Club

This week on the season finale of The Shitty: It took 9 whole episodes, but The City finally gets interesting. As interesting as this show can get, at least. And what makes this episode awesome? Awkward confrontations! Between Roxy and Kelly, and Olivia, Joe, and Erin! Yes, these people finally get to hash things out. Except maybe Roxy, who has the eloquence of a chihuahua. Also, Whit shows her designs to an unimpressed Bergdorf lady posse . . . but there may be better things for our Li'l Whit-Whit on the horizon . . .

You guys! Something's weird! What happened?! Why did I enjoy this episode so much?! What is going on!? I feel like Dana, the older sister, in Poltergeist.

"What's happeninnnnnnnnngg?!?!?"

For her, it was a crap-ton of evil spirits out for revenge. For me, it was Whitney Port. Meh, six and half-dozen, if you ask me. Let's get this party started.

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November 26, 2009

The City: The Plot Thinnens

This week on The Shitty: Who's ready for a heapin' helpin' of the same old crap?! You are! Erin and Olivia fight. About work. Specifically, pulling clothes for something. Just like the last episode. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. And the one before that. Sensing a pattern? Whit has a multi-thousand dollar photo shoot for her "collection." Don't worry - MTV paid for everything. Thank god! And Roxy almost effs it all up and then pouts about it, because that's pretty much the only reliable thing that she can do.

Crap. I forgot that I left my rodeo clown makeup kit in the pockets.

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November 22, 2009

The City: Dates With D-Bags

This week on The Shitty: Whit goes on a bad blind date with a d-bag; Roxy fights with another d-bag; Kelly has to call Whit out on her crap again; and Olivia and Erin don't get along. Did you guys know that? That they don't get along? News to me. Also, for reasons I can neither explain nor comprehend, Cobra Starship (the band, not an actual starship of cobras) meets with Elle. Which is the closest thing to a music video MTV can do at this point.

"Oh crap, I pooped 'em again!"

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November 13, 2009

The City: Miami Double Whammy

This week on The Shitty: Everyone heads to Miami for some fashion week thingamajig. Olivia doesn't really do her job, but Erin sort of gets blamed for it. Roxy and some random guy leave Whit at some club, and they fight about it at work the next day, which makes Kelly not-so happy. Which makes the last 3 minutes of this show totally awesome. Maybe even worth seeing the rest of the episode! Except not really.

We're at People's Revolution, where Kelly says, "Why are you all so happy?" Then she asks if people have been reading the paper, and I know that every single person in that room is thinking, "Does In Touch count as a newspaper?" Kelly says the headline is something about the economy and about how people are just buying basics, and that's the "kiss of death" for fashion.

No, I'm pretty sure this was. And pretty much everything else Lady Gaga wears.

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November 5, 2009

The City: Girls Gone Mild

This week on The Shitty: Whit, Rox, and Sam head out to The Hamptons to party it up white-people-only-style; Olivia once again half-asses her job -- wait, that's not even accurate, she quarter-asses it -- and Erin once again has to pick up the slack. But this time, Zee is involved. And Erin pretty much sums up my feelings with this look:

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October 30, 2009

The City: Freddy Fackelmayer's Father and the Photography Fiasco

This week on The Shitty: Waspy brings his d-bag of a dad on a date with Whitney. Their second date. Roxy and Olivia work together on a project. Well, Roxy works, at least. And Jay returns. Wheeeeeee.

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October 22, 2009

The City: Attack of the WASPiest WASP in WASPdom

This week on The Shitty: In what is the most boring episode of this show I've ever seen, which for this show, is saying A LOT -- Whit meets the WASPiest guy of the entire WASP history; and Olivia and Erin go to a party and Erin yells at Olivia for possibly no reason. That's it. Seriously.

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What're you doin'?
Nothin. What are you doin'?
Nothin'.
Glad we talked.

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October 15, 2009

The City: Fashion Whiplash, Fashion Backlash

This week on The Shitty: Houses of fashion fly by as Olivia is on the case to get some accessories for an Elle shoot; Whitney shows her fashion sketches to Kelly and then goes behind her back on Roxy's suggestion, causing an epic, bi-polar tirade that only the likes of Kelly Cutrone can pull off.

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Never trust a girl with this shiny of a face.

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October 8, 2009

The City: Cutrone Giveth, and Cutrone Bitch Slapeth Away

This week on The Shitty: Olivia has to buy black market knock-off handbags like some disgusting regular person; Roxy pisses off The Beast in Black - Kelly Cutrone; and Whitney has apparently been downgraded to supporting actress.

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Hey, who Dana Delaney'ed Whit?!?!

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October 1, 2009

The City: Don't You Dare Call It Season 2!

Tonight on The Shitty: Whitney has a new (and yet old) friend who may or may not be just in it for the attention; Olivia gets a job at Elle and throws a patented Fly Off the Handle Olivia Hissy Fit on her first day; Whit decides to start her own fashion line; and Jay, Erin from last year, and Adam are out.

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Wasn't this guy on Stylista? And doesn't that mean he should be banned from ever being on TV again? No. No it does not.

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December 3, 2009:The City: Spite Club
November 26, 2009:The City: The Plot Thinnens
November 22, 2009:The City: Dates With D-Bags
November 13, 2009:The City: Miami Double Whammy
November 5, 2009:The City: Girls Gone Mild
October 30, 2009:The City: Freddy Fackelmayer's Father and the Photography Fiasco
October 22, 2009:The City: Attack of the WASPiest WASP in WASPdom
October 15, 2009:The City: Fashion Whiplash, Fashion Backlash
October 8, 2009:The City: Cutrone Giveth, and Cutrone Bitch Slapeth Away
October 1, 2009:The City: Don't You Dare Call It Season 2!
March 20, 2009:The City: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. S-O-R-T-O-F.
March 13, 2009:The City: A Multipletude of Badness
March 6, 2009:The City: Give Whiney a Hug!
February 26, 2009:The City: Different Town, Same Meh
February 20, 2009:The City: "Smooths" and Moves
February 13, 2009:The City: Tamaramadrama
February 5, 2009:The City: The Truth, Like Kelly Cutrone, Can Be a Bitch
January 31, 2009:The City: Whitney Who?
January 22, 2009:The City: Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
January 15, 2009:The City: I Kinda Like You Sorta Maybe For Sure Not Really A Lot
January 7, 2009:The City: Love Lesbian Loser Loca
January 5, 2009:The City: Trust Issues
January 4, 2009:The City: If She Can Fake It Here...