Tonight on The Shitty: Olivia books Jay's band for a hoity-toity shindig; Erin worries about juggling two guys; Nevan is an asshole.
Get us the hell outta here.
Jay, Whitney, and Jay's hair are at a restaurant, and Jay's either tired or drunk because he has to be subtitled. He's getting ready for a "gig" with his band -- Tamarama. Wouldn't it be awesome if they headlined a Bananarama reunion tour? They could call it: Tamarama/Bananarama Rama. It's just fun to say! Whitney talks about Erin and J.R., but all I can focus on is Jay's hair. It's so high and unmanageable. I bet he hasn't washed it in three days. Whit mentions that she may invite Olivia to the "gig," and Jay says he'll set up a section for her so she doesn't have to mingle with "the commoners." Ha. Also, true. We need to keep her away from people with retirement home shoes! Credits.
Wow. I guess there really does come a time when you forget there are cameras on you.
Mary-Kate Olsen?! No, it's Olivia. She has weird legs. She meets Nevan at some restaurant, and it's really sad that she has no other friends. Especially since Nevan is her cousin. And he offered prescription drugs to an undercover cop for a blow job. Have I mentioned that before?
Hey, Jarrod, I think it's my turn!
Olivia tells Nevan about going to see Tamarama and says that the "girls" are coming over so he'll have to leave the apartment. Nevan says that going to see Tamarama is her "good deed." Which is fine -- the homeless people under the bridge totally understand.
So, Whit and Erin get into a cab, but . . . is it just me or is the editing completely wonky? First of all, I think Erin got on the (back) passenger's side of the cab, but later on she's shown on the (back) driver's side, and she says something when the car is moving pretty quickly, but Whit responds while they're not moving at all . . . Did they take separate cabs and then film individually?! WTF is going on?! Ah, I guess they're in the same cab . . . that was weird. Oh, and they talk about J.R. and timing. They arrive at Olivia's white white white apartment (ten bucks says she doesn't allow brown food or liquid in her place) where she asks if they want "champy," as in champagne. Now, I'm usually all about cute shortenings of words. I'll give you a nice "perf" for perfect or something, but "champy?" Ugh. They're in a bit of a rush, but Olivia says Jay will hold the show for Whitney. Um, that's stupid, because he won't, and from the looks that Erin and Whit give each other, they know he won't either. Why should he? Olivia sucks.
It's called champers, you twit.
Jay and his band are at The Cutting Room, ready to go on. Where's Whit? She'll be here, Jay says, adding, she better be. And scene!
Back at Olivia's, the girls are drinking champagne while Olivia blahs about changing into something all black. Whit says she likes the outfit she has on now (Translation: Shut the eff up, bitch and let's get the hell out of your weird apartment, and hail a freaking cab so we can see my boyfriend's show!). While Olivia goes to her closet to grab some other clothes, Erin and Whit make hilarious faces at each other because they're running late. Really, I don't do it justice, but it's funny. Erin, sweetie, we talked about the lipstick last week. Jay's band starts to play at The Cutting Room. No one really seems to care. And Olivia is finally ready to go. Drama! Except not even a little bit.
Disco Granny. How...social.
They arrive at the club, and I mentioned this in the comments last week, but I'm going to say it again: Tamarama doesn't really suck (a lot), but their harmonies? Yeowza. One of the people singing really shouldn't. Ever. Now, I don't know who that is, per se, but I hope they take a good hard listen to this ep. Olivia manages to dance a little, after she downs her drink. Gawd, I really want to see Olivia drunk. I'm just waiting for that moment where she drunkenly tells Jay she's in love with him, shows him her boobs, and then throws a major hissy when he rebuffs her.
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Comments (17)
And here I am again this week commenting on this drudgery called The City. I've been anxiously waiting for this recap!!! I could NOT believe Olivia's chutzpah this week!! What is her DEAL! She is CARAAAZAY! So many goodies in your recap! I especially felt the vehemence in your "You.Brought.It.Up." because I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING! I'm tired of Whitney rolling over with the "OK" all the time. Did anyone notice how Whitney kept looking over at the camera during this entire exchange?? You KNOW if she hadn't have been on camera she would have let loose! She SHOULD HAVE! We're all rooting for you Whit-neh!
The Erin/JR thing is dumb. They've been in the SAME CITY for A YEAR and NOW JR realizes what a great girl she is?! I say it's b/c she's on a reality show and that's ALL! He'll dump her once the show gets cancelled.
Anyway, your recap was dead on and I agreed with EVERYTHING! I won't bother repeating anything, my comment is long enough.
1 of 17 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on February 13, 2009 11:09 AM
again, I repeat I think Olivia is in love with Jay, what is up with her Jay fascination, I think there is something, they have both decided not to mention on camera, what with his deep dislike of her, and her constant asking after him.
And I concur, JR looked more like Michael Phelps this week, he looked different than last week.
Olivia's behaviour while at first funny, with her Whitney put down's and all, but her constantly making Whitney look bad, is beginning to reflect poorly on her.
2 of 17 | Posted by nflow | Posted on February 13, 2009 11:48 AM
great recap!
I HATE OLIVIA. that is all.
oh wait, also... I honestly thought Neven was gay. Just his whole demeanor. Straight boys are NOT that bitchy!
3 of 17 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on February 13, 2009 12:36 PM
I would totally eat at your restaurant.
4 of 17 | Posted by heygirl | Posted on February 13, 2009 4:41 PM
Did you forget there's an entire country above the U.S. that's a LOT colder than Chicago? Actually, you probably did since Americans seem to think that Ukraine is the same thing as Russia (I'm still sore about that, McKey!) You have no right to complain either so... yeah.
Anyways, I loooooove Olivia. She's soooooo pretty.
5 of 17 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on February 14, 2009 8:40 AM
Uh ohhh.. someone's got their granny panties in a bunch... settle down there alex_w.
and Olivia's fug; she's got a stink-face, always looks like she's smelling shit.
6 of 17 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on February 14, 2009 1:35 PM
Yikes, alex_w. Hypnotoad was just saying it is cold in Chicago. For the record, it's very cold in Michigan, too.
Oh, and Olivia really sucks, pretty much everyone knows it.
7 of 17 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on February 14, 2009 10:00 PM
Kelsey, I put forth the argument that Olivia doesn't know she sucks. Does she have a love life of her own? Some kinda C plot that will allow us to see her in a different light? I hate to be sexist but she really needs some D in her life (other than Bevan's, I mean).
I love Whitney and Erin.
I used to think Olivia secretly crushes on Jay but after seeing this episode, I think she just wants to break them up for the fun(hell) of it. Cuz she's a bitch like that.
8 of 17 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on February 14, 2009 11:41 PM
pretty damn cold in the NH, too! I just can't wait for Springgggg, this snow just needs to disappear already!
9 of 17 | Posted by Lady_Ace | Posted on February 15, 2009 6:13 AM
LOL! ok...i kinda agree with Alex W....
Where i am it was just recently almost -50 (with windchill) so yeah....we totally know what freezin is! :)
As for Olivia...granted she has some looks on her...but man that girl got some uglies on the inside! My 2 cents anyways...Love the Recap! much more interesting than the show and totally agree with you...What IS up with the editing?
Keep Warm Ppls!
Twnny Out!
10 of 17 | Posted by twnpeeks | Posted on February 15, 2009 1:22 PM
What is this, The Weather Channel message board? Sheesh. I was simply saying, alex, that when someone is wearing a windbreaker and is complaining that it's freezing, then they should shut the hell up cuz they don't know what cold is. NYC winters are nothing compared to Chicago winters. And there are countries other than the U.S.? News to me.
I agree twnpeeks - pretty on the outside, ugly as effing sin on the inside.
11 of 17 | Posted by Hypnotoad | Posted on February 15, 2009 5:19 PM
Gee, where would Olivia get the idea to book Jay's band to play at her charity show? Hmmmmmm.
Could it be....the producers?
Why would Olivia be any different than the rest of them on this show? The whole thing was set up. They probably didn't even have another band booked.
Hey, I'll throw my hat into the weather competition. How about months on end at over 100 degrees? A high of 117? Summer flash flooding that washes people away in their cars--and their bodies are never found? Got that in Canada?
12 of 17 | Posted by pixielated | Posted on February 15, 2009 7:03 PM
On topic, hypnotoad, I was so rolling on the carpet about your awesome restaurant name... if you serve macaroni and cheese then I am totally down for eating there (even if your wait staff is abusive and calls me 'asshole' a lot).
Olivia sounds like she needs one of those life-changing experiences where, say, she gets stripped of all her cash and financial security for a month and has to work at a menial minimum wage job and live in a dirty hourly porn motel and turn tricks 'n' stuff. I. HATE. HER.
Awesome recap, I love what you do for this show... (believe me, I know how you feel).
love, J-Mo :)
13 of 17 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on February 16, 2009 9:08 AM
Olivia is the prettiest girl on the City. She's also the most interesting. Her personality is questionable, but that's only because MTV needed an antagonist! The bitchiness is added in the editing room. Go, Olivia! You've got fans aplenty, girl. I assure you!
14 of 17 | Posted by Chee-Z-TV Addict | Posted on February 16, 2009 9:35 AM
I'd like to apologize profusely to all Gasmii everywhere for being such an insufferable bore for so long. I assure you the days of my obnoxious, self-important rantings are over.
Moreover, I'd like to apologize to Colie (RW, Denver) and Tessa (LB 2), both of whom suffered immeasurably from my careless, denigrating comments. It's taken me a while, but I can finally admit that I was wrong. I targeted Colie because her insecurities were so apparent that the narcissist in me could not resist exploiting them. Tessa became a target because I was hoping to become cyber-friends with KConrad who clearly despised Tessa. Alas, it was all for naught as KConrad hardly ever addressed me personally in the forums. My ass-licking days are over, folks, as are my ass-kicking days. Tessa and Colie, I'm sorry.
I've had so much spare time on my hands for so long that I may have offended many others in my quest for special notice from TVGasm administrators. Please do not hesitate to reply so that I may apologize to you personally. This apology would not be complete if I did not also mention that I created an account with a user name similar to mine so that it would appear that there was an impostor on the boards. Yes, folks, there was never an impostor! It was me all along. I am filled with shame. I am also ashamed to admit that I never suffered from meningitis!
I am close to tears right now. All I wanted was some attention. I am so sorry for misleading you all. Let this post be a reminder to you all that it's never to late to remove the stick from one's ass! I will stop sucking, now.
15 of 17 | Posted by Chee-Z-TV Addict | Posted on February 16, 2009 10:07 AM
Is this another Socialite Ranks scandal? LMAO
Hypno, you make the show immeasurably more enjoyable, I wait for your recaps all week!
I loved when Jay called him Bevin!! And I call being Erin's make-up buddy!
16 of 17 | Posted by nicevibe | Posted on February 16, 2009 5:17 PM
BlahBlah- I totally agree about Olivia needing a life or something. The most we are getting for her is the creepy relationship she has with N/Bevan, and while I can put up with a lot, it's just a little too much for me.
17 of 17 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on February 16, 2009 7:26 PM