Tonight on The Shitty: Whitney has a new (and yet old) friend who may or may not be just in it for the attention; Olivia gets a job at Elle and throws a patented Fly Off the Handle Olivia Hissy Fit on her first day; Whit decides to start her own fashion line; and Jay, Erin from last year, and Adam are out.
Wasn't this guy on Stylista? And doesn't that mean he should be banned from ever being on TV again? No. No it does not.
For some reason, MTV is calling this series of episodes the 2nd part of the 1st season of The City. Yes, regardless of the fact that there has been a span of six months between the previous episode and tonight's premiere, we're still in the first season. How's that for depressing? So here's what happened on the first part of season one. Half a year ago.
And also what's going on now: Whitney moved to NYC and it was the "craziest time" of her life. Whit dated Jay and then they broke up and she's now working part-time for Kelly Cutrone at People's Revolution and is also *sigh* working on her own line. Maybe she should take some advice from Lauren Conrad! And, then again, maybe not. Man, I sure hope Whitney can survive just working part-time. I mean, that combined with her $80,000 per episode (or whatever) is really just harsh. Well, I guess the recession is hitting everybody. Speaking of hitting someone, Olivia is now working for Elle. And MTV, er, sorry, I mean WHITNEY got a new apartment. And with that, let's jump right in.
I'm ready for lunch. Bring me some baby souls stat and hold the pepperoncini.
Some chick named Roxy Olin, who I can tell oozes certifiably insane amounts of self-esteem just by the way she carries herself, has come to see Kelly Cutrone. Didn't she used to work with Rachel Zoe?, Kelly asks. Why yes, she did, but she had to "quit" because it was so "unorganized" and she "can't work like that." Roxy says she left L.A. because she was the only one who wore all black and she didn't get along with girls and L.A. is "bullshit." She actually says "bullshit." In an interview. And Kelly doesn't say anything. I'm sorry, but that's really unprofessional. Hey, what am I doing -- I'm acting like Roxy doesn't already have the job the MTV made Kelly Cutrone give her!
Good god, Kelly asks for her birthday and then talks about her zodiac sign. Roxy went to high school with Whit and pretty much calls Whit a goody-two-shoes Marcia Brady. Which, granted, she kind of is, but still. Roxy says people call her a bitch but she's really just straight-forward. Which is a thing bitches say to make them sound like they aren't bitches, when really, they totally know that they are. Do we already hate Roxy? Yes. Yes we kind of do. Credits with that stupid Pussycat Dolls song! Dammit! I hate this song! At least it's shorter this season. Er, this half of season . . . oh, forget it.
LA has too much sun and her makeup kept melting off. Just be honest!
Speaking of hate, Olivia walks down the street to the Elle magazine building. Joe Zee tells her in a meeting that there's a position open in the accessories department. And, you know, instead of interviewing qualified people with M.F.A. degrees in fashion and a ton of experience who would actually kill for the job since they've been unemployed for six months, he's going to go ahead and hire Olivia.
Joe wants Olivia to meet Erin Kaplan who is in publicity, so he calls her in. Joe tells Erin that Olivia's been hired for the position and Erin looks at Olivia as if to say, "Well, well, well. Look what skank MTV bedazzled and dragged in here. There's no way you can handle this, beyotch." Based on that look, I'm gonna say that I love Erin. I hope she fashion-pwns Olivia. Multiple times.
Possible new hero.
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Comments (8)
Are you there God, it's me, Marijai....please, please, please let Kelly Cutrone have her own show so that we can see her eat girls like Olivia (okay, she can include Olivia in her diet) and tehn spit them out in every episode. And if it's not too much trouble, maybe Olivia could be the first one gone? I'd love to see her brought back to planet Earth, and Kelly would be perfect for that!
Great review as usual!
1 of 8 | Posted by marijai | Posted on October 1, 2009 12:22 PM
Great recap! I'm certain I will NEVER have to watch the show...but you make reading it fun!
2 of 8 | Posted by plockeness monster | Posted on October 1, 2009 2:44 PM
You forgot to display your utter disbelief at that fact that Olivia kept her job....at Elle, an international magazine....after throwing that fit....on her first day? That would NEVER. HAPPEN. But, I'm sure you just glossed over it because it's pretty much common sense now that this show is faker than Roxy's friendship with Whitney (I'm clever!!!!)
3 of 8 | Posted by tenthirteen | Posted on October 1, 2009 7:51 PM
THE fact, not THAT fact. I'm stupid tonight.
4 of 8 | Posted by tenthirteen | Posted on October 1, 2009 7:53 PM
Maybe not immediately fired, but HR would definitely be having a conversation with her! Every corporation I've worked with has scenarios for these things - you get written up, you go in to have a conversation with your supervisor and a third party. Depending on the sitch, you get a reprimand, a warning, another warning, or you get fired. Olivia definitely needed to have that conversation, as that was probably one of the most unprofessional things I've EVER seen.
If the show isn't as fake as we all think *cough* KNOW *cough* it is, and Olivia's not just playing The Bitch Girl, then she's got some serious underlying issues. What are those issues? I'm glad you asked!
Whenever Olivia gets frustrated by any kind of criticism, no matter how constructive and nicely phrased it is, her immediate defense mechanism is to go to some antagonistic place and immediately escalate things into an argument. During said argument, she flips the tables and accuses the other person of being immature and saying that the argument is fruitless, and then walks away, avoiding further conflict. If you want to boil it down, she'll dish it out quickly, but she can't or doesn't want to take it. She did this time and again with Whitney (e.g. the fallout from the benefit that Jay sang at last . . . half of the season). Does she do this on purpose? No, I don't think she does. And it's scary that she doesn't realize it. Girl is deluded (and a bit sociopathic, in my opinion) and needs some serious therapy.
Now, if Erin really wants to take the high road while at the same time annoying the hell out of Olivia, she should say something like, "Olivia, I know you're frustrated, but there's no need to take it out on me. I asked you to do a certain task and if you can't prove to me that you can handle it, then next time just let me know and I'll have someone else do your job for you." And then she needs to walk away.
Then again, watching Erin completely own Olivia again and again will prove to be HIGHLY entertaining. So I'm torn. Regardless - if Olivia was working without cameras following her around and without MTV? Ho wouldn't last two weeks.
5 of 8 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on October 1, 2009 8:42 PM
Nice armchair psychoanalysis, hypnotoad. I like to over-complicate things, too, but am learning there's usually a simple explanation for most things.
The simple explanation is...Olivia's hungry. Hunger causes hormonal imbalances, which cause freak-outs on the scale of get yourself fired on your first day if MTV hadn't hired you.
6 of 8 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on October 3, 2009 8:29 PM
Isn't Roxie Olin the daughter of the cute husband in 30 Something. Michael on the show, but I don't remember his first name.
7 of 8 | Posted by kloewent | Posted on October 6, 2009 11:35 AM
The daughter of Ken Olin, who was on 30 Something. Interesting. Olivia is so annoying. I hate her blah clothing. And is Whitney that dumb to let a girl who openly belittles her stay at her home??
8 of 8 | Posted by courtsue09 | Posted on October 7, 2009 5:27 AM