This week on The Shitty: Waspy brings his d-bag of a dad on a date with Whitney. Their second date. Roxy and Olivia work together on a project. Well, Roxy works, at least. And Jay returns. Wheeeeeee.
So, over at Peep's Revolution, Kelly tells the gang that there's an upcoming event with Elle (it's called the . . . Long Schlong? I can't understand her. Plus, she's holding and stroking a tiny chihuahua like she's freaking Blofeld or Dr. Evil).
Please don't eat me.
The camera focuses on Whitney as Kelly obviously voice-overs about how the goal is to sell bags for the foundation. Roxy and Whitney are put in charge of coordinating the event and it turns out Olivia will be meeting them. But ohmigod who needs to discuss work when it turns out Jay has been calling Whitney! And I'm a little confused by what Whit's talking about, but there's a mention of a "sort of" booty call and "hitting it and quitting it," so I guess they met? And now Whit wants to meet Jay to explain that she's over him, and this is the last episode he's scheduled to appear in because his contract wasn't renewed. Credits.
At Elle, Erin is on the horn talking about the UK and Angelina and Brad, and then gives Olivia info on the Longchamp event. Aah, so that's what it is. Anyway, the event has something to do with the . . . Kitchenette foundation? What is it with these people and completely unpronounceable names? Olivia's like, "Kitchenette is a good friend of mine," and Erin awesomely completely ignores her. And then Erin tells her to make sure they get good pictures and crap. And Olivia goes, "It's a cocktail party," which sounds like she's making fun of the event, which, in front of your boss? Not cool.
You got a problem with the cock or the tail, you frigid twig?
It's time for some relaxing yoga, which is totally interrupted by Whitney telling Sam about Jay calling her. And then the yoga instructor goes all 7th grade home room teacher on their asses and says, "Is everything okay, ladies?" Awesome. After yoga, Whit talks more about Jay to Sam, who says that she needs to get over him and keep dating Waspy Wasperson from last week, and when Whit asks if Sam is okay with that, she insists she totally is. And of course she is, because this is The City, which is the decaffeinated version of the espresso that is The Hills. Whit has to go home to get dressed for a fancy date with Waspy.
At some restaurant, Waspy and his dad, Fridolin Fackelmayer (um . . . wow) sit waiting for Whitney. His dad is from, I'm guessing, some Scandinavian country. Waspy tells his dad that Whit doesn't know that he came with. I'm sorry, but that's just a really shitty thing to do, Waspy. And you know what? I might break up with someone if they ever did that to me on THE SECOND DATE. I mean, WTF? Waspy goes, "I haven't introduced you to a girlfriend in a long time." Holy crap, "girlfriend?" This guy is needier than a premature puppy. And dude, he still looks really, really crazy. And tan.
Welcome to the Sherri Shepherd show.
When Whitney arrives, she actually handles herself well. Turns out Fridolin works for a company that "manages money." Oh, THAT company. Yeah, real specific Fridolin. Also, *cough* money laundering *cough*. I can see where Waspy gets his craziness. He asks Whitney to tell his dad about her clothing line, and she says that you have to get investors to raise money, and Fridolin is all, It's a hard time to raise money. Uh huh. And yet, you're able to eat at expensive restaurants and keep your house in the Hamptons and hire someone to drive you around all the time, eh Fackelmayer? Recession or not, it pisses the hell out of me when uber rich people complain about the economy.
Waspy says he's proud of Whitney, and Fridolin Fackelmayer snorts a very derisive laugh and says he has to leave because his car is waiting for him. Yeah, times are rough, eh Fackelmayer? Go buy some overpriced art, Euro Trash. Instead of asking, like all rational people, "What the hell was that all about?! Your dad? On the second effing date?!" Whitney's just all demure and asks how soon in a relationship he usually breaks out the parents. Ten bucks says he texts "I Miss U" to her 2 minutes after he leaves.
Can I have your number?
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Comments (6)
I can get past the title
"Freddy Fackelmayer's Father and the Photography Fiasco Sections" I'm laughing so hard - Brilliant!
1 of 6 | Posted by hlesczyn | Posted on October 30, 2009 11:27 AM
I hate to defend Olivia, but why is she working at a PR event? Isn't she some sort of accessory editor or something? I guess bags are an accessory but then she'd just be doing that..not worrying about photography..wow. I'm sad how much I thought about that..
2 of 6 | Posted by crt123 | Posted on October 30, 2009 2:56 PM
Soooo, I just wanted to chime in and say that I absolutely adore Cobra Starship. Yes, I am an adult. I saw them by chance at a show three years ago and have been hooked ever since. Don't hate. =]
Also, I don't know exactly what Olivia's job title is but it's obviously not purely about accessories. She works hand in hand with Erin who is PR.
One more thing, didn't Whit look gorg with her hair down while doing the single ladies thing? She should not have pulled it back!
3 of 6 | Posted by Chickadee2586 | Posted on October 30, 2009 10:43 PM
Chickadee - Meh. I'm not really down with the new kids on the MTV block. But then again I love the Carpenters, so who's square now? Me. Me, that's who. And yes, Whit's hair looked hella splendid during the single ladies thing!
crt123 - Well, regardless of whether or not Olivia's title, she still works for Elle, and she's STILL brand new to the job, so she should do whatever they want her to do (within reason, I mean, if they tell her to eat solids, she obviously wouldn't do that). She's still just hired, and since her position has to do with accessories, I'd think she'd want to get great photos to show off the accessories and show that Elle throws a swanky "charity" event at the same time. But in reality, Olivia: Fail.
She's like one of those weird home schooled kids who really don't have any sense of social mores, except for Olivia, it's job mores. Well, that and basic human decency.
4 of 6 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on October 31, 2009 12:20 AM
" . . . regardless of whether or not Olivia's title . . ." Dude, what the heck? I meant, "regardless of what Olivia's title is . . ."
5 of 6 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on October 31, 2009 12:22 AM
I thought Erin was in charge of getting Elle on TV which is why they did that piece on the Today show. (And she's excelling at the job as far as getting it on The City goes).
And Olivia's job is to be Oliva Pallermo - famous socialite.
Looking at all the photos of her on here an on other sites - Olivia really does have a very waxen lifeless face. Shame all that money couldn't buy any facial expressions.
6 of 6 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on November 1, 2009 7:17 AM