Tonight on The Shitty: Whit-Whit has a horrible week: first she gets screwed over by Olivia at work, then she doesn't get screwed at all from Jay when she gets home, because Jay may or may not be screwing someone else, whose name rhymes with Banielle. That's pretty much the ep, although Allie moves in with Erin or something. And also, Jay becomes a complete asshole.
So let's get married.
At DVF, Whit and Olivia are called to the 5th floor, where they're told by Alixe (that's Betsy when she's back in Ohio with her parents, eating tater tot casserole and shit-on-a-shingle). Apparently, someone named Joe is working on a cover shoot with Jessica Alba, and Olivia has worked with Joe and Jessica before. Which just sounds too crazy to be true. I mean, Olivia? Working? Here's something else to blow your mind: Alixe puts Olivia in charge of like, pulling clothes, and showing Whitney the ropes. I know, right?! Plus, Whitney did this kind of thing on The Hills when she went to Paris to interview those debutante bitches, and that queeny bitch of a dude was all, maybe you should stick to styling or whatever. Rude! And then Lauren left her curling iron on her Parisian couture dress and burned it. This is why we can't have nice things, LC! P.S. How awesome was that Hills season 5 trailer?!
Whit's hair looks really stringy today, just like that girl in high school who loved horses. Come on, everyone knew that one girl who loved horses, like way too much. Perhaps you were that girl . . . Credits. Give me those bright lights, give me those long nights, give me . . . the remote.
Is my wig ok?
Tonight's title: "Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me." Or as George W. Bush put it, "Fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." Eloquent! Olivia and Whit are pulling clothes, and Olivia pulls some clothes that are beige, you know, to match her personality. Look, I know some of you (okay, 2 of you) like Olivia, and that's fine, but I'm just gonna let you know: I never will. And if something comes along that changes my mind about her, I'll buy you a beer. You like Natural Light, right?
Anyhoozlebees, Whitney wonders if it's too much of one color, and then suggests they check the cover of last month's mag to make sure they're not using the same color scheme. Well played, Ms. Port. Well played. Whit pulls some flowery skirts and jackets, and Olivia is all, no, no way -- that's too much, and they'd never use it for the cover. Whitney puts them on the rack anyway, giving them 7 choices, but Olivia says that Alixe said 5 or 6, so one has to go. Really? I don't think Alixe/Betsy was all hardcore about there being exactly 5 or 6, but whatev. Whitney is gung-ho about her choice of flowery stuff, which I think is fine. Olivia still thinks they're fug, and puts "it" in there "JUST to give it a little color." I don't know if "it" referred to the whole ensemble or just one jacket or something.
Over at Erin's apartment, Allie comes over to pout pout pout! I think Allie was the horse girl because her hair today? Horse-Girl Hair. Completely. Erin's letting Allie stay with her while she looks for a place. Danger! Danger, Erin! Remember when she was only supposed to live with Jay and Alex for like, a week, and it turned into half a year or something? Plus, I bet Allie never re-fills the water filter pitcher and doesn't rinse out her coffee cups.
Just one little thing. I keep this iv around just in case. If you see me passed out for more than ten hours at a time please poke it into my arm and FEED ME!
« American Idol Results and Wild Card: Not the Best Voice We've Heard... so You're In! | Main | Rock of Love Bus: Speedbumps »
Comments (8)
Olivia is such a fugly bitch. No wonder the other NY socialites viewd her as an outcast! If she was worth anything to anyone she wouldn't have ended up on a reality show. If you are going to be a cutthroat bitch the least you can do is own up to it. Don't continue to play the victim when you are so obviously the villian of the show. And Olivia get a clue. You can't claim bad editing on a scripted "reality show!"
1 of 8 | Posted by flowie623 | Posted on March 6, 2009 1:01 PM
Before I even finish the recap, I have to say I ALWAYS say "anyhoozles".
Props on expanding on that!
2 of 8 | Posted by nicevibe | Posted on March 6, 2009 1:33 PM
I didn't even watch this episode because Olivia is the worst and a little bit because of the Jay thing. I mean, I'm not entirely a Jay fan, but I sort of somewhat like him (but I also started loving Justin Bobby, so really, what can you do?) and I didn't want to see him being a total jerk.
3 of 8 | Posted by kelsey | Posted on March 7, 2009 12:09 AM
The irony is, someone in the DVF office is the one getting screwed, because they actually picked out the outfit and handed it to Whiney off-camera (you know they wouldn't let these airheads have any real responsibility). I'd love to know what the photo credit says. Does anyone have a subscription to the magazine? Apparently the photo is only on the subscribers cover, not the instore cover (per Bside).
4 of 8 | Posted by natural redhead | Posted on March 7, 2009 9:39 AM
Why didn't Ann Slowey make an appearance on this show? Joe Zee did! Maybe she got enough free publicity through that lame show Stylista.
Anyhoo, no mention of Diana Ross & her hair being on the show at the luncheon?! How random was that?!
I'm not surprised Jay is an azz. He's probably been one all along. He dated Whitney to promote his band and for a place to live until he went on tour. That's why he never said anything about leaving (next week's ep). There's an old joke that goes, "What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?" Answer: Homeless.
5 of 8 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on March 7, 2009 4:15 PM
And, I think that whole thing with Olivia stealing the credit was staged. It could have been editing, but I doubt EVERYONE would have been RAVING about that cover. I think Whitney was the only one not in on the gag.
6 of 8 | Posted by thatswhatshesaid | Posted on March 7, 2009 4:31 PM
Hypnotoad, so 2 of your readers like Olivia? That's out of a total of about 5 readers, right? 40% ain't bad considering she's the antagonist of the show.
7 of 8 | Posted by BonaFide | Posted on March 9, 2009 10:20 AM
Ouch! That one hurt my feelings and my name is not Hypnotoad. (I like the Shitty recaps.)
LOL! @ TWSS's homeless musician joke. The same thought went through my head about Jay's reasons for dating Whitney. It must suck to not know who your *real* friends are. Welcome to LC's world, Whit!
8 of 8 | Posted by BlahBlah | Posted on March 11, 2009 2:01 AM