It's party time! Olivia is on her rooftop terrace, with her cousin, Nevan. Now, ostensibly they're discussing place settings, but they both talk completely over one another, neither listening to a damn word the other one's saying. And Nevan might be high. A dozen gay guys, I swear, arrive at the party. Why aren't there any gay guys on The Hills? They're in, like, fashion, and music, and whatever-the-hell-Heidi's-job-is! No one has a gay friend? Weak, LC. Weak. Whit and Erin enter, and Olivia is sad Jay couldn't make it but "so glad" Erin is there. I believe her, because I immediately make pouty faces after I say I'm glad about something as well. Some gay dude gives a toast to Olivia the Hostess, but we don't see his face, I'm betting because his mom in Des Moines thinks he's "getting married" to his "girlfriend" "Lydia" who's "always away on business in London." The other toast is to Whitney.
Oh god please I hope no one smells that.
Over at what probably constitutes a dive bar in NYC, and therefore a regular bar in Kansas, Jay and his roomie Adam play some pool. Adam tells Jay that space "never hurts" especially at the beginning of a relationship, and now we all know that Adam is The One That Plays By His Own Rules. Back at the party, Nevan is blahing about how he is the son of an art dealer, but he doesn't care about art. Wow, how ironic, Nevan. And really, really fascinating. If this is what rich people sound like, then I'll stick with my $10 an hour, thank you very much!
Olivia thankfully shuts him up to ask Whitney AGAIN about Jay. I wonder if Jay and Olivia had something in the past. If not, hands down that's going to happen in the last episode of season one or two. When asked why Jay didn't come, Whitney is all, "I don't know. I'm not his girlfriend, so [weepy eyeroll] what can I do?" Once again we hear Nevan talking about his dad, an art-dealer, but I kind of suspect a sound edit on that one. And then, Jay arrives at the party. You know, because the producers called Jay and told him that showing up at the party would be the perfect end to the first episode. And then threw in $1,000. Olivia's so happy to see him! Blech.
Whit and Jay talk over in a corner by themselves (with the Manhattan skyline oh-so-conveniently behind them), and Erin drinks her drink at the table, probably all, "You stupid whore, Whitney, leaving me with all these half-wits and their talk about not caring about art and shit! I hate you!" When Whitney asks if Erin's ready to go, you can totally, totally see the relief on her face, and the way she's all, "Yeeaahh . . ." is priceless. Love! Erin! Nevan says, "No one's ever left your parties that quick." Except, you know, maids and caterers that were fired just for fun. On the way out, Erin says that some guy called her a hooker, and Whitney offers to kick his ass. And she probably could.
And with that, we're done with the first exciting episode of The City! Remember, if Whitney can make it here . . . she'll earn $75,000 per episode for thirteen episodes!
This chick already has the stress neck of a forty year old. I can't wait to open her baggage.
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Comments (6)
I probably should have mentioned this in the beginning of my recap, but I actually am a fan of The Hills. I did stop watching in the middle of season 3, when Lo started getting more air time (I do not like her. I think she is much more evil than Heidi. She's rude, mean, petty, spoiled, and has a very unhealthy, Fatal Attraction-like connection to Lauren). But I've since caught up. Anyway, I don't see this show having the same amount of drama as The Hills.
I'm completely surprised Whitney, who probably had less air time on The Hills than that douchey Frankie dude, and who always said in interviews that she doesn't want her private life aired on TV, got a spinoff. But I'm sure money helped.
Also, google "DVF layoffs," and click on any of those links. It's kind of sad, really.
1 of 6 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on January 4, 2009 12:53 PM
Yayyy someone IS recapping the show! And I loved your Million Dollar Listings recaps as well (and am not just kissing ass either, isn't that super cool?!?)
Anyways, the kick-off ep of the season was pretty boring and lackluster, but an aesthetically pleasing show as always. The second episode was slightly more drama-filled. So... I look forward to that recap.
2 of 6 | Posted by alex_w | Posted on January 4, 2009 7:07 PM
Yes sir! The recap was great! Will we be getting a recap of the second episode that came on after this one? Yes, I'm greedy! Ha!
Does anyone else think Olivia's voice sounds exactly like Heidi's? High pitched and nasaly....If you close your eyes you won't know who's talking...
3 of 6 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on January 4, 2009 7:32 PM
Hold onto your seats, kids! The 2nd ep recap is on its way!
4 of 6 | Posted by hypnotoad | Posted on January 4, 2009 7:48 PM
Thatswhatshesaid, I had the same thought, although I initially thought she looked like a brunette Heidi. I am very interested to see if this show can hold my interest.
5 of 6 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on January 4, 2009 9:50 PM
Yay for hypnotoad skewering "The ZZZZZZZiti"! I wuv you for that! I'm hoping Whit can drum up some drama like her namesake Ms. Houston to make something worth watching, but even if not I'll still be reading your awesomely fun recaps! love to you!
love, J-Mo :)
6 of 6 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on January 5, 2009 12:24 PM